Based on my educational history I was under the erroneous assumption that I wouldn't use my biology degree much... or at all. Apparently I was wrong.
You might think that I use it because I work for a medical device company and therefore it's useful to have a working knowledge of human biology. That's true. But I wouldn't say I use my degree. It just makes understanding things I need to know a little less complicated.
But the hubby brought to my attention last night (via phone, of course. again, we are in different cities...) that biology seems to have proven a great choice after all - even if I didn't plan it that way. Because all the "weird shit" happens to me.
- Tadpole rescues
- Frog relocation
- Bat catcher ( I have scrolled through my blog to link to this story and I suppose I never posted about it. You know, 'cuz the true story makes my hubby look like a ninny...)
And now, I'm the bee keeper.
First - a side note on the bat:
A few summers ago, while my dad was visiting, we had a "visitor". Dad was already in his room getting ready for bed. I was already in bed when the hubby finally came upstairs after watching some late night tv. He was standing at the sink brushing his teeth when he saw something swoop through the upstairs hall. He thought he was just tired and his eyes were playing tricks until he saw it again going into his office!! He ran to shut the door on his office to capture whatever it was and then ran and woke me up. I have to say he was a smidge hysterical. Apparently there was a bat in his office.
I, on the other hand, was not too worked up about this. First, you just woke me out of a dead sleep to tell me there's a bat in the house? I don't care. Get rid of it. Secondly, it's just a bat. It's not like you found a snake curled and ready to strike at you in the toilet!
By this time I think my dad was onto us. He knew there was something up. So now he's turned into a spectator of his still-relatively-new son-in-law's antics. I found a shoe box in my closet and told him just to go in, catch it and take it outside. No big deal. So the hubby goes into his office, closes the door and we hear a few "whap, whap" where he's trying to smack the lid onto the box but apparently missing the bat. Then he we hear a shriek and the hubby bounding out of his office. This is NOT what you want to do when your FIL is in visiting.... I'm pretty sure my dad laughed at him. I don't remember. But I'm sure my hubby remembers exactly...
It became apparent that bats are to my hubby like snakes are to me. The world would be a better place without them. (or at least me ever coming in contact with one.) So I ended up taking the shoebox, going in the office and retrieving the bat myself. And then I let it go outside.
Note: I found out later that the DNR doesn't want you to let it go. But I didn't know that. Sorry.
Ok, back to my original story...
You know when you've had weeks when you're really busy and you're just looking forward to some downtime to relax, especially before the pace picks up again?? This was that week for me. Except it's turned out not to be so relaxing.
My first reaction? "Fuck! Shit like this only happens to me when the hubby's out of town. Figures!!"
My second reaction? "Now why in the world is there a gob-o-bees in my grass?? In the middle of the yard???"
I looked up and could see a broken hive way up in the tree above it. The heavy winds we'd had the day before must have broken it off. (although I still didn't realize bees would build a hive way up on a tree branch like that. I'd have taken a picture but I don't have that good of a camera phone..)
- get yourself a coffee can
- get an old cotton rag
- make it smoke and smoke them off the heap
- then you can see what's under there and remove it
Ugh. Really? That's a lot of steps! I haven't broken out the Girl Scout handbook in so long that this was actually making me nervous. Ok, not nervous, but pissed. Pissed that I had to even deal with this. All I wanted was to make a great dinner and have a glass of wine.
"Poke some holes in the bottom of the can so the air can circulate better and increase the smoke." Really?? This is waaay more effort that I want to put into this. So after being whiny on the phone with dad I hung up and eventually went to the shed and put a few holes in the bottom of the can. I grabbed the leather work gloves and the shovel - 'cuz I was a girl scout and I wanted to be prepared.
And this is what followed:
Later that night I was thinking about what the hubby had found on the web - bees are least active at sun up and sun down. The sun was going down so I thought I'd give it another look. I went outside - which was starting to get chilly - and saw that the bees were there but hardly moving at all. I'm guessing it was a combo of the timing and the temperature.
So I hustled out to the shed, got the flat-end shovel and went out and carefully scooped up as much of the glob as I could. Slowly I walked to the back fence and dumped them over the side. And I may or may not have run like a wild woman back into the yard after the dump.... just sayin'
When I was certain that I wasn't going to get swarmed by pissy dumped bees I carefully went back and tried to scoop up a bit more. They got dumped over the fence too. However when I went back to get the rest they were pretty active and I decided not to press my luck. Ok, I didn't "decide" to stop shoveling. I stopped because I was "chased" through the yard by an angry warrior bee determined to protect his hive. After being dive bombed a few times I decided to give up.
I put the shovel back and called dad and the hubby for a bee status update.
The remaining bees were there this morning but all seem to be gone by the time I went home at lunch. There are some unfortunate souls that didn't make it and so are making a small "pile of the dead". But I'm not feeling too guilty about it. I did save a bajillion other ones.
And through all that I didn't get stung once!
Just call me the "bee whisperer".
