whoops...

Two weeks ago I deemed it officially winter by putting the electric blanket on the bed. Last year we got the fabulous Tempurpedic and for some reason I decided not to put the electric blanket on the bed last winter. I don't know why - just didn't.

Well, maybe because I was lazy. Because this year I had to untangle the stupid cords, plug into the blanket to test which control went to which side (one control for each side, you know), climb up underneath the stupid bed to split the cords, plug in the stupid thing....

Getting the impression this was all quite stupid? Well it wasn't stupid, per se, but I'm sure I looked stupid as hell, with my head under the bed, arse up in the air, trying to get it all figured out.

Once it was all settled I was sure I was going to be quite cozy. See, the best part of having the electric blanket is to use it to "preheat" the bed. It specifically has "preheat" on the controller. You set it to the highest level 30minutes before you go to bed and when you get in it's all nice and toasty for you. Never fear - ours automatically shuts off after 8 or 10 hours so you don't have to worry about burning your house down. And since it has the 2 controls it's really great for me and D since we never can agree on the temp.

So Saturday I wasn't feeling so great - sinus issues or something. I set the blanket, started getting ready for bed, popped 2 Benedryl and crawled in. Now it didn't take me anywhere near 30 minutes from when I turned on the blanket until I got in. When this happens I usually lay there until I start to get warmed up and then gradually turn the bed down until it's where I want it for the night. Usually in 3 minute increments... it heats up pretty fast once you're under there.

Well, I remember turning it down a few notches once....

The next thing I remember is D moving around. Now remember, we have the famous Tempurpedic - so he's really got to be thrashing for me to wake up.

Then I vaguely recall thinking, "Holy shit! I think I'm on fire! I think my skin is smoking...."

Then it hits me, while I'm fighting against my Benedryl coma, whoops... forgot to turn down the blanket....

The Benedryl musta kicked in and I never got around to turning down my side of the blanket. Meanwhile, D is hotter than hell and can't figure out why. (by the way, it's 2AM...) he turned his side of the bed off hours ago and is still burning up... not knowing that I conked out with my side still set to "inferno".

I'm baking, basting, something... on my side of the bed. I literally start wafting the covers to let out the heat that's trapped - I'm THAT hot. I start panicking... "Oh my god - will this melt our patented Swedish memory foam developed for NASA??!!!"

Never fear, gentle readers.... out Tempurpedic is still intact. But I now have legs like Christy Brinkley and a permanent tan from the neck down!!

My New Favorite Christmas Song

I'm having an issue getting the video to embed.... so you're just going to have to go to the link and watch it. But believe me - it's worth it!!

New Favorite Christmas Song

Habits

Ever notice a habit you have and wonder where/ when/ why it started? I was in the shower this morning, shaving my legs and noticed I do something odd.


Well now, if you're a longtime reader of my blog there's no questioning when or why this habit started.


October 6, 2007


If you haven't been reading that long you must read here and brush up to understand what I'm about to explain.

I'm shaving, got my leg propped up on the wall in front of me and reach across my body with the razor to rinse off the blade. While I'm rinsing I find myself cupping my exposed "girl" with my left hand.

Really.

It doesn't take me 2 seconds to process what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. I stop and think and realize I've been doing this... oh... probably over a year now and just now realizing I'm doing it.

Now I have a million other weird and funny habits. Not many of which I could probably explain the wheresits, whatsits, whysits, howsits and such. I do them just because I've done them that way forever.

But this one... this one I know why.... funny how we adapt...

Two of us couldn't figure this out...

Several months ago we had lightning hit our building. (did I blog about that? I can't remember...) Anyway it required us to purchase a new color printer as it fried our old one.

The color printer I'm referring to is a networked printer for the office. So it's medium sized, with big honkin', expensive ink cartridges and such - not some desk job that each of us probably has next to our home computer.

So about 2 weeks ago the printer started telling us it was about time to replace the black cartridge: "order black cartridge". Thanks for the heads up HP! So one day I catch CB and RR standing over the printer with the lid up messin' with the cartridge trying to compare the cartridge CB ordered with the one they're going to replace. Something is totally amiss. (apparently they've been standing there quite a while too...) The reordered one doesn't look ANYTHING like the one they're about to take out. So I stand there for even longer trying to see if there's anything I can contribute to the situation.

There isn't.

So CB calls the office supply place, explains the situation and they tell her:
1) you don't need to replace the cartridge when it first tells you, it will stop printing when you must replace it. Wait until then - and
2) we'll come over with the correct cartridge - something must be wrong with what the delivery guy dropped off - we'll fix it immediately.

Great. Office supply lady comes over, confirms what we have has the correct reorder number on the box but the product in it is NOT correct (how that happens I'm not sure), takes away the wrong product, drops off a box with the correct reorder number. We think we're good to go.

So today apparently by boss needed to print something in color. We (me and CB) find him going back and forth, irritated at the color printer wondering why it won't print. Ah ha - the black cartridge must have finally pooped out. dun-dun-dun-da!! (insert superhero music here...) Never fear - CB and I will take care of this!!!

I go to the printer, open the black replacement cartridge, open up the top of the printer and lo and behold - it's the same WRONG FRICK'N cartridge!!!

WHAT??!!

Anyone can tell the cartridge coming out is much smaller than the one they keep telling us to put in. We've checked the reorder numbers a million times the last time this happened. We're POSITIVE we have the correct numbers - it's right here in the HP manual!!!! What is it that we aren't seeing??

Then it hits me.

If this is the black cartridge, where are all the color cartridges located? Because all I see when I lift up the top is this one cartridge.

CB and I pause.... thinking....

Frantically, in tandem, I start flipping pages in the manual and she starts looking on the side for a way to get to the inside.

As I find the page in the manual, she finds the magic key. Like I found the location of the pirates treasure on the map and she found the actual treasure.

The whole front of the printer drops down, revealing FOUR FRICK'N HUGE CARTRIDGES!!!!

black
cyan
magenta
yellow

Huh, how 'bout that.

I reach in, grab the top cartridge, pull it out. It's the same shape and size as the cartridge we've been saying all along "isn't going to fit"!

Sure it'll fit - IF WE PUT IT IN THE RIGHT PLACE!!!!

This whole time we've been taking something out of the top of the printer, thinking it was the black cartridge, when in fact, it wasn't.

We still have no idea what it is. I can't find its description in the users manual.

The office supply lady clearly doesn't have a clue either because she thought we were right all along too.

So - when buying a new piece of office equipment it helps to read the WHOLE users manual... not just reference it for the reorder numbers for the ink cartridges....

duh....

Why I shouldn't multi-task

The other day I called a colleague and while the phone was ringing I decided to email my husband some info before I forgot. You know me, if I didn't email D right at that moment I'd get finished with my phone conversation and what I needed to tell him would have vanished into thin air never to be thought of again. (No, really, I don't have ADD. I've been tested.)

So while I'm emailing it appears my colleague, Cari, is not in the office and her voicemail message begins. Great! more time for me to finish typing! The next thing I know I hear a beep.

me: Hi hon. It's me.

long pause. wait. momentary lucidity lapse... what am I doing? am I typing to D or am I leaving him a message?? SHIT?! I'm typing him an email! Who the hell's voicemail is this? Shit!! CARI!

me: Oh my God, Cari... sorry. I didn't mean to call you 'hon'. Sorry. (my speed of talking proportionally increasing with my embarrassment) I'm so embarrassed. I'm typing an email to my husband and got confused. Oh, never mind. Sorry. Oh my god. Call me back.

Lucky for me Cari is the sort that would find that funny. Still embarrassing on my part, nonetheless. Next thing you know I'll be ending work phone conversations with "love you". You just watch...

I'm slackin'

WOW! I'm slackin'. Sorry folks. I would say lots going on... there is and there isn't. I'm just going to work, the usual grind, ya know? But no funny stories to tell. I haven't gotten caught pickin' my nose, my pants haven't fallen around my ankles in public, no one's mistaken me (again) for a 40-something-year-old...

I've just been working. And it's not even really been fun lately. That's really just about it.

It's sad, really.

So I'm still here - I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I just don't have anything to share at the moment. When I do I will.