You what?? Where??

I gotta couple of good ones for you today.  But fair warning - TMI which may or may not include grossness and/ or private parts.  Be warned!

I was telling my friend a story the other day and she told me I HAD to put it on the blog.  So I will - but now it will be shadowed by another story about our run earlier today.

Last weekend we did a 9 mile long run.  I had been getting blisters right on the tips of my toes.  Not under my toenails, not under my toe pad.  Just right on the end.  Of course it could only mean I was rubbing on my shoes and the solution was a new pair of shoes 1/2 size bigger.  I was being cheap and was holding off thinking if I could just get the calluses built up I'd be ok.  So the night before the long run I drained the blisters - like we did on our hands all the time back when I was rowing in college - and left the skin covering to help it make calluses faster. (gross, I know.  Welcome to running.)

After our run I was sitting in the tailgate of my SUV in the parking lot and took off my shoes to inspect my toes to see how they fared.  Most didn't re-blister!  Great news!!  But one had blistered up again.  Ugh!  So while the hubby was standing off to the side of my car, stretching, I was messing around with my toe.  I started pushing on it to test whether the blister had gotten worse.  Apparently it found the hole I had poked in the it night before and all of a sudden blister juice spurted THREE FEET out onto the parking lot asphalt!!  It came uncomfortably close to the hubby - who happened to see the incident.  I believe his response was along the lines of "Oh GROSS!!  Did that just come from your toe blister???  Disgusting!!"

Needless to say - that toe has not blistered up since.  (it helped that I finally broke down and bought a new pair of shoes....)

So today our long run was 10 miles.  Y'all be happy to know - per my previous blog post about my dinner last night - I did NOT end up toot, toot, tooting my way through the park.  But it didn't start out so promising....

I had to wait at the park for the hubby to finish coaching his rowing practice.  As I was waiting my guts dropped into 5th gear.  Figures.  I don't even row anymore and was still left to do my business in a porta-pot....  At least I was armed with my own packet of Kleenx - cuz you never know how you'll find the porta-pots equipped. 

Let's say I was in there for, ahem, a bit.  And when I left I felt a lot better and was confident I wouldn't be bothered with this issue again during my run.  But when I walked out one of the novice boys' boats (remember - teenagers!!) was on land, stretching.  Right there.  Nearly right in front of the porta-pot.  Great.... I could hear them now.  A bunch of hee-hee's... "hey look!  Coach's wife's been in the porta-pot obviously shittin' herself!!"  And then it occurred to me I was probably just being paranoid because, well, I was just in the porta-pot shittin' myself....  I sheepishly went back to my car to wait for the hubby...

So we finally got started with our run.  All I'll say is - 10 miles is hard.  I'd say that I'd never do it again.  But that would defeat the purpose of running a half marathon.  So I guess I will be running it again.... 

But some of the *fun* of running doesn't even start until you're done running and get home to see what new and exciting things await you.  (said with the thickest sarcasm I could muster)  Tiffany - you might want to stop reading here.

When you end a long run usually you know if you have started chaffing somewhere.  It might burn like a mother.  It might not even hurt at this point - just an uncomfortable feeling.  On a rare occasion you may have NO clue something has happened.  But everything become crystal clear once you step into the shower and water has rushed over your tender spots.  If you didn't know before you most DEFINITELY know now!!

Now like most girls I keep the lawn edged appropriately.  Don't need any strays hangin' outside the bathing suit, er, um the driveway.  (forgot I was using a metaphor)  And on occasion I trim back the bushes too.  Usually just during the summer.  Why bother in the winter??  As I was running today I noticed the bushes must be a little "overgrown" because I was getting the feeling they might be a bit long and twisting a bit in my shorts.  Nothing bad or terribly uncomfortable - just to make a mental note to take care of it.  You know...

There's nothing worse than jumping in the shower, thinking everything is hunky dory, only to immediately realize HOLY SHITBALLS BATMAN!!  I'm still perplexed as to what exactly happened.  Or exactly how the damage exactly occurred.  But that "overgrown, twisting and tugging" I thought I was experiencing was not an accurate description of what was really happening.  All I know is that it must have been some serious chaffing goin' on.  Which I was unaware of until I hit the shower.  And F#@K!!  It hurt!!

So now I have a new chaffing place I have to worry about.  But the problem is - I don't know how to appropriately "pre-treat" this particular chaffing place.....  Research is in my future.  But fear not!!  You have no idea what running information you can find online!!  Good news is - I'm never the first person to have ANY kind of issue.  Someone has always had it before and has shared their knowledge!! 

So THANK YOU to all those people who aren't afraid (or embarrassed) to share!!!