The Secret

Have you heard of the book The Secret? It's been on Oprah.... It's the book that says if you really want something all you have to do is "ask" for it and the stars align, and the universe answers what you want....

I'm The Reverse Secret. Over the weekend I'm driving and realize my inspection for my car has expired. Since I got a ticket for an expired inspection February '07 I think to myself, "Self, must get car inspected and soon!! Wouldn't want to get another ticket for an expired inspection!!" I get in the car Sunday and again remind myself how dire the situation is. I MUST get the inspection situation remedied. The NY state troopers do NOT mess around with these things. But what can I really do about it on a weekend??

So this morning I'm driving to work bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to start a new week. As I'm pulling on to the interstate entrance ramp I notice a back-up of cars. "Is there a wreck on the interstate??" I tune into the radio trying to find traffic info when it's my turn to go. I make my left hand turn and lo and behold... a checkpoint. ON THE ENTRANCE RAMP!!!

At first I think "I'm fine. I have my seat belt on." Then it hits me! SHIT!! My inspection's expired!!! I thought about it and thought about it and the universe made it so!!! Sure enough, the trooper is slowly waving cars through, gets to me, holds up his hand and motions me to the side of the road.

I pull over. I'm getting a ticket for an expired inspection AGAIN. But what's worse... it's the SAME COP that pulled me over the last time!!! Thank god he didn't recognize me. And at least this time he had a sense of humor.

Cop: ma'am do you realize you're inspection has expired?

me: you're not going to believe me, but yes. I just realized it last night. I swear. (I'm actually smiling because I truly can't believe my luck. cop is actually smiling too.)

Cop: may I have your drivers license and registration?

me: sure, hold on. (I'm cool as a cucumber because, again, I can't believe my luck - which, in fact must have been what made me so believable.)

I start rummaging through my filthy glove compartment looking for my registration - which I don't understand because in NY your registration is also right on your damn windshield anyway. I think they do it to make you nervous.... didn't work.

me: Do you mind if I go ahead and get you mu drivers license? It might take me a while to find this.

Cop: (grinning) sure.

me: Ok. it's in the back seat. (purse is back there with computer bag) hold on.

I quickly retrieve said DL, hand it over, and return to rummaging through glove compartment. Nothing.

me: I have it, I swear. Do you mind if I call my husband and ask him what he did with it?

Cop: (smiling) ma'am, that won't be necessary. This'll be fine. (looks at the info on my windshield and goes back to his car.)

Meanwhile I'm still shifting through the shit in my glove box, cussing David in my head wondering where in the hell he put these important documents. I mean, really. I've kept these things in here my whole life. Where are they?? I give up and start throwing it all back in there.

Then it occurs to me that Ford provides you with this nice little zipped up binder for your manual and maintenance log.... and again, lo and behold... that's where it was...

Cop walks back up to my car... I'm sitting there with the documents in my hand...

me: (meekly) I found them... (weak smile...)

Cop: really? I already wrote you up for them!

me: really!!

Cop: (smiling) no, I'm kidding.

Yeah, funny, ha, ha...

He actually was nice and wrote me up for a lesser charge. (apparently our previous run in 14 months ago wasn't in the system... thank god...) Needless to say I took care of it at lunch!!!

Car inspected - check!!!!!