I might as well be a hooker...

Last night I helped out Crazy Pet Lady, rather, CPL's mom by being a volunteer at a March of Dimes fundraiser. I actually had a blast. What a great cause!!! I should probably get to the point as I don't want anyone thinking I'd rather be a hooker than volunteering for a great cause... I'm not that self-centered...

So "mom" signed us up to be greeters, you know, grabbing all the rich people as they enter the hall, explaining all the places where they can easily part with their money for a good cause. Of course we're lookin' hot in black skirts and button up white shirts... CPL, as always with all 5'11" slenderness of her with her naturally curly hair and fallin' out tatas (sorry girl - you know I had to throw that in with you and you're mom making unbutton one more button... ; ) and me I've got the "hot for teacher/ Palin" thing going on 'cause my contacts have been giving me hell lately so the glasses are on and I'm wearing one of CPL's tight shirts. (all my white ones have company logos on 'em). We're both wearing our f-me boots. we didn't plan it - we just have a knack lately for dressing the same (although it's usually just at the gym...) BTW - I can look like Palin - just don't call me Palin - them are fightin' words...

I digress... and no, the f-me boots reference has nothing to do with the hooker reference... I'll get to that...

So at one point everyone has arrived and our greeter job is done. One of the MofD women ask if we could help pick up these little plates - they're running out and need help.

Now let me clarify something here. The benefit is being held at a facility that has a hired wait staff. The benefit itself has about 10 volunteers like greeters, people helping out with the auction, coat takers, etc... But hey, if the hired wait staff needs help we'll pitch in - no problem! We're here to help, right?!

First of all, I've never worked in food service. And second, do you know how clumsy I am? I was nervous when asked to do this but I wasn't going to say no - I was here to help. No one said I had to pile stacks of plates up my arm and take them to the back. I would just grab what I could even if it meant I had to make several trips. It can't be that hard, right?

The benefit was set up for food with small plates. There were trays set up in the corners where people were supposed to take their dirty plates when they went up for more but no one was. No one gave me and CPL any direction - they just said clear plates off tables. So we grabbed plates and started to stack them on the trays in the corners.

Well, well, well...

Apparently one of the hired wait staff saw us doing that and ran over and laid into us right in the middle of the benefit. (yes - she knew we were volunteers, not hired help)

"You girls can't be stacking all those plates on my tray! I can't lift that tray with all those extra plates! Plus you're gonna make it all fall over! You need to take those to the back in the kitchen!!"

On top of being stunned I didn't want to make matters worse by saying anything - or make myself look like an ass too. I kept my mouth shut. CPL and I looked at each other and returned to collecting plates.

With the next batch we went to try to figure out how to get into the kitchen. We hadn't been back there before. We apparently walked around our ass to get to our elbow but finally found it. In the meantime getting an earful from another "high ranking" employee about how we didn't have to go all the way to the back to get there. We got stiff direction on how to use the doors that connected to the dining area.

Ok - got it. Again, even out of earshot from attendees I kept my mouth shut. I wouldn't want to embarrass CPL's mom. Not that she knows any of these people - but I'm here trying to volunteer and help out. I decided (for once) to just shut it.

So CPL and I went out again to grab plates. This time I made it back to the kitchen before her. (probably because I didn't trust myself to carry too many - CPL has food service experience....I do not.) As I set the plates down I turned to hurry out to collect more - that's what they told us - grab as many plates possible! they're running out!!- the "head boss gal" grabbed my plates and said:

"hey volunteer! you have you clean the plates!!" as she's violently shaking off any contents of each plate in between words, into the trash

"or we can't wash 'em!!" loudly tossing a dish to the washer

"you just can't leave 'em here!!" I can't believe the dish didn't break

"next time" throwing back another plate, huffing as if this work is literally going to cause her to have an aneurysm on the spot

"clean off your plates!!" emptying off another plate and tossing it back.

And let me be clear. She was almost yelling this to me with the meanest, gruffest, bitchiest, tone I have almost ever been talked to in my whole entire life.

I stood there watching the whole time. I was stunned. It was like a train wreck. I couldn't look away.

As I finally turned to leave she grabbed a stack of clean plates and said "take these outside and put them anywhere".

Right. bitch. I know where to put them.

Now I don't know what gets into people. I'd have been happy to scrape those plates. I'm not one iota above it. But don't F'in treat me like a piece of garbage. No one deserves to be treated like that, volunteer or paid employee. As a matter of fact - I'm not even getting paid to scrape plates and I'd be happy to do it. I'm helping YOU out, lady since you're the one getting the pay check. Granted, it probably sucks. But if you were a little nicer it'd do it for you. But if you're gonna act like that forget it. Do it your damn self and I'll go over here and do my cushy little volunteer job and let you sweat it out.

But I'll tell what - if that's what working in food service is like - it SUCKS. It SUCKS big time!! It SUCKS so big time that I might as well be a hooker....