When 35 is old

I thought playing on this co-ed softball team might make feel feel young again.  Remind me of the days when I was 12 playing for the Chemlawn Cuties.  Running the bases, swingin' the bat...

Nope. 

It's making me feel old as dirt.

Last night was our second game.  We still lost, but not as bad as last week.  A mere 6 - 4.  All of our runs were scored in the last inning.  Apparently it takes us 6 innings to get warmed up.

When I arrived I grabbed a ball and started tossing it with another gal in what the other players lovingly call "warming up".  Whatever.  This is not warming up.  This is just "throwing".  I couldn't figure out the semantic difference until I looked more closely at the players on my team and realized I'm probably one of two of the oldest players on the team.  I'm guessing by a LOT.  So yeah, to them tossing a ball around is "warming up".  When you're twenty-two...

However, when you're 35 "warming up" for anything physical should always include:

• stretching all appropriate muscle groups for the activity
• stretching groups you don't think you're going to use, because face it - you're not 20 anymore so you're likely to use non-appropriate muscle groups even if you don't mean to
• increasing your heart rate in some form - jogging a bit, perhaps
• ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT if said activity will require you to raise your heart rate during said activity...
• popping preemptive ibruprofen

After you have done all of the above you can continue on with any additional "warm ups" suggested by teammates.

NOTE - following outlined "35 YO Warm Up Plan" does not exclude you from injury. 

Case in point:  I hurt myself during our game last night.  During said "ball tossing" with fellow "Ball Breaker" (read that how you will) I twinged my right upper quad.  Face it - I'm just not used to standing still and quickly lunging out to field a grounder or sprinting out to first base.  I thought to myself "Self, be careful!  You're not 20 anymore!!  Don't let that twinge turn into a tear!"

Guess what?  I tore that bitch.

Actually I kept on tearing it and tearing it.  'Cuz I'm a glutton for punishment like that.  And I tweaked my left quad too.  But I kept reminding myself there is NO crying in baseball!!  (or softball, or in front of cute boys) 

But I did consult dad on the way home for proper post injury treatment.  When I got home I iced those thighs like Thanksgiving leftovers and popped Advil.  And today?  More icing and more Advil.  I feel like a new girl!!

Take aways:

1. Don't try to act younger than you are because you just end up looking stupid
2. If you decide to disreagrd rule #1 at least go through the proper warm up techniques at least twice (preferably in private so the younguns don't see you and how old you really are....
3. Don't ever discount the healing properties of ice (or dad's advice....)

Chemlawn Cutie

Back in the day I was a "Chemlawn Cutie".  Although today I believe Chemlawn is trying to shake that name and is going with "TruGreen"....

But I felt compelled to follow up my previous softball report.  If you played ball with me back in the 80's, particularly that fateful T-ball year, I'm happy to report I did not do cartwheels out in left field this past Monday.

However I feel the need to defend my cartwheels during T-ball.  I know the ball is stationary, on a tee.  But do you know how boring the game is???  Do you know how many people cannot hit the dang thing??? (it's a wonder any of the participants ever gradutate to hitting a moving ball...) There is hardly any action!!  Especially in the outfield!  C'mon!  Six year old girls rarely hit a softball off a tee let alone into the outfield.  Therefore I had every right to practice my cartwheels.  I had gymnastics the next day!!

Who agreed to this???

KVeg asked me to play on her Bfriend's coed softball team.  Sure I would!!  Then I found out she wasn't playing.  Something about her lack of hand/ eye coordination...  Well this ought to be a blast...

I don't own a glove.  I haven't really played softball since I was 12!!!  C'mon people.  Give me a break!  I haven't been able to make practice.  I'd have to say, all around this was turning out to be a bad idea.  To make matters worse our game was last night..  Let me tell you - I was doing a rain dance in the office like I was a pure blooded Hopi.  Yeah, well, it worked all right.  It was raining.  But apparently they only cancel for lightening, thunder or pouring rain.  I could only muster a drizzle.

I got to the field to warm up.  I was playing left field.  The outfield was a sloppy, wet, spongy mess.  And over the course of the game - which we lost 8 to 1 - I jotted some mental notes for myself for next time.

• Don't wear a thong while playing softball when you're 35.  Especially when you're playing left field and will probably be running lots.
• Don't talk or mumble to yourself in the outfield.  Even though you're used to talking to yourself on a regular basis these people on your team are "new to you" and don't know your habits and probably find this habit odd, if not disturbing.
• Take the constructive criticism from KVeg's BF and a few of the others on the team with graciousness because they are awesome, very polite and mean well.  But that "one guy", not sure about him.  He's coming across as a jerk.  But still smile and nod to him because you haven't figured out where he fits in the scheme of things yet. 
• Be more aware of what you're doing.  You caught that fly ball.  Yeah for you!! But you also apparently celebrated that you caught it before you threw it back in the field and you didn't even realize it!!  Pay attention!!  (although I think you had every right to immediately celebrate because that's the first fly ball you've caught "in action" since you were 12... that was over HALF a lifetime ago....  and did you see that haus that hit it right at me!!)
• Even though you are totally impressed with Jason's skillz you probably ought stop complimenting him on them lest someone think you have a crush on him.  Really I don't.  I truly am impressed with, not his skillz, per se, but his style.  Guy makes it look good!  I give credit where credit is due.  That's all.
• Don't wear the team t-shirt out in public.  Team name is Ball Breakers. Logo is phallic.  On purpose. 

I told KVBF that my feelings wouldn't be hurt if he decided to move me positions.  Do you know how hard it is to run around after balls in a sloppy, soggy wet outfield??  Impossible!  The balls would hit the grass and not bounce, roll, nuthin!  They literally would leave divots in the grass.  I'm not even kidding.  Not much fun sloshing away to a dead-on-the-ground ball....

We'll see how this turns out.  I did have fun so long as no one is competitive enough that they were disappointed in my performance.  I'm positive I'd have more fun if we didn't have to play on a soggy field in the rain.  So for the next few months think of me trying not to get my teeth knocked out from a fly ball on Monday nights after work!!