We live right by a high school. A large one (to me) with well over 500 or 600 students per grade. When the hubby is out of town I have to go home and let the dogs out and apparently I go home late enough that the school is out for the day because I see many students out walking around the school. Me not being a parent myself, I can't confirm exactly what all the kids are doing, but I'm assuming it's not a massive walkout happening on a regular basis. (I hope....) I know the school day starts really early there (around 7am!!) so I'm assuming school is done for the day.
Today as I was driving through the school zone I saw three high school-aged guys walking together, two of them openly holding hands. And it gave me pause. In a good way. And I'll tell you why.
We all remember what it was like in high school. The pressure to fit it. Some people rebelled on purpose. Defied "the man". I understand why. But I think they missed the point. They weren't being themselves. They were trying to make a point. Then there were others that did their best to just blend in with the crowd. Tried to fit in as much as possible. They might have tried to call attention to themselves to try to be popular or something like that. But in all other respects it was "try to be as normal as possible". And then there was always that small group that just did their own thing for the sake of being true to themselves. I don't know why. Maybe they were oblivious to everyone else and the pressures of fitting in. Maybe they didn't care about fitting in. Maybe they were 200% more mature than the rest of us and the joke was on us. For whatever the reason they figured out how to be true to themselves waaay before anyone else did (or has)... I respect that.
I was one that tried to fit in. I always did was I was told. To a fault. So much so I know it has severely affected my adulthood. I'm not blaming anyone - just stating a fact. It's taken me so long to realize that I've been doing other people's bidding for so long that I never figured out who I "AM" until so late in life that my adult self has suffered. Don't worry - I'm not setting myself up for doom and gloom - I'm just saying that it's really hard to stop the momentum of the moving ship this late in life and change course. Possible!! Just much, much harder.
So back to these boys holding hands. High school is soooo hard. I often reflect on how much harder it probably is today for teenagers who are struggling with their sexuality and trying to decide whether to publicize it or not. Kids are cruel. Face it - people are cruel. Adolescence is a hard time to figure out who you are in general. Then to figure out you are someone that some of society has defined as deviant?? Just for being you??? How bizarre and unfair is that??? And then top that off with the pressure to "fit in" with everyone else?? Wow!
My heart aches for anyone who is demonized, ostracized or otherwise treated as an outcast for just being who they are. This is why I love Lady Gaga. She uses her stardom to be outrageous, call attention to herself and otherwise get people to notice her. Once she has your attention she has a message. Don't hate people for just being how they were born.
I'm glad to see progress being made. I'd love to think those to guys walking down the street are as openly accepted at school as any "Jennifer and Tom". But I doubt it. But I at least hope they have enough support through their friends - and more importantly, other adults in their lives - that keep helping them just be themselves and not hide behind the mask of what others "expect them to be".
I'm glad those guys are strong enough and comfortable enough to come out in high school and be themselves. I was respect that decision. This post isn't just about respecting a high schooler's decision to be true to themselves about their sexuality. This post is about anyone being true to their real selves. Be it a man who can truly open up to their real feelings and not feel they always have to be strong. It's a woman who can be true to herself and admit that she isn't superwoman and find ways to better juggle her responsibilities. This list goes on and on.
Don't mistake it - this post is about being true to yourself. But in order to do so you have to be introspective to know what's in your heart. This is the hardest part. Carrying it out is actually easier. The question is - do you have the discipline and the courage to be introspective and face what you find there?
1 comment:
Well said ZooKeeper!! Well said!
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