slow goin'

just a heads up - the posts might get a bit slow going as work picks up a bit. and then again they may not - work might provide me with blogging fodder. We'll have to wait and see.

See, SB's "last day" was the 11th. I say "last day" but she's still working under contract for a few weeks until her student teaching gets under way at the end of the month. We just don't really let people go here. Her replacement, RR, starts the 28th, which also happens to be my birthday. Did I mention that RR is a "he", in an office of "she's"?? Ok, my boss is a "he" - but he keeps to himself and is the head honcho. And the rest of the "she's", oh and the new "he", reports to me.

Org chart: He-> me-> to the rest of the she's(2) and he.

For a grand total of 5 of us in the office. There's actually another "he" parallel to my boss but he's only in the office about 10-15 days a year so technically there's 6 of us in our office. The "she's" (me included) used to way outnumber the "he's" in the office.... but now it's getting closer....

This will be interesting to see if/ how the dyanamic changes....

Veet fiasco Part II

Remember my "shaving incident"???

And then remember the not-so-positive Veet product review?

Well, you know I'm cheap and that Veet cost me almost TEN bucks!! So even though it sucked I wasn't just going to toss it (although in retrospect I should have...) Well, I thought I found a use for it this past weekend.

Time to 'fess up. Here it was, January 5th, and I hadn't shaved - anything- legs, pits, nothing - since Christmas Eve. Yep. It's official. I'm disgusting. Go ahead, send sympathy cards to my husband. I won't be upset. I'll remind you too, I'm a brunette. A real one. That hair was so long it wasn't even sticking out anymore. It was starting to lay flat. I'll stop - I know I'm grossing you out.

Now you men and other brunettes know you can't just go whacking that shit off with a razor. It has to be trimmed first. I should note here that the last time I shaved before Christmas Eve was December 14th - the day of my surgery. I know, gross again. On Christmas Eve I DID try to just shave it off. I damn near set my leg on fire with razor burn. This is how I know you can't just shave it off.

I digress - So I decided "ah ha!" I'll get out that Veet and at least soften it up a bit. Perfect! I'm not lookin' to get it all off. My plan was to 1) remove pants 2) apply Veet 3) wait appropriate amount of time 4) jump into shower 5) remove with squeegee doo-hicky thingy 6) continue on with normal shower and shave as usual.

Sounds easy, right?

Wrong.

At the time I had on pajama pants and thermal DMB shirt. I removed pants but kept on top - it was cold!!! I picked up Veet can, held with right hand and proceeded to spray into left hand. Except it didn't go into my hand! It sprayed up and all over my sleeve of my DMB shirt and then into my hand! AH!!!

me: David!!!! get in here!!!!!
D: (running breathlessly into bathroom) what's wrong? (looking around, trying to assess situation)
D: why don't you have on any pants?
me: never mind!!! (with now a handful of Veet CHEMICALS!! trying to figure out plan) I need help!!
D: what do you want me to do?
me: ok, ok, ok.... ok. (wiping handful of Veet onto leg, thinking) I'm going to take this shirt off and I need you to take it downstairs and start a load of laundry with it, ok? I don't want it ruining my shirt.
D: ok
me: here's the problem. I have to get this off because in 6 minutes I'm going to have a MAJOR chemical burn problem! got it??!!! I need you to hit the start on my watch - I'm still going to time this.
D: got it! (he fumbles with my watch trying to get timer started.)

Now I'm trying to wipe Veet onto my leg because I'm not about to abort my plan.

I gently pull my arms out of the shirt and slip it over my head. As I swing the arm with the Veet sprayed on it it accidentally wipes across the BACK OF MY NECK!!! (thank god my hair was in a ponytail!!!!!)

me: oh my god!!! it's on my neck. (as my hands are COVERED with Veet)
D: uh oh, it's everywhere
me: ok, ok, ok, ok, (trying to think fast - I start smearing the last of the Veet on my leg)
me: turn on the faucet!!!

Luckily I get my hands rinsed and wipe off my neck, praying none got in my hair. I get in the shower, squeegee it off, shave and shower. Legs as smooth as a baby's butt.

In the end everything turned out ok. But that damned Veet is haunting me. I still say stay away from it...

A Dillon christmas....

So Dad came to visit for 10 days. In on the 20th, out on the 30th. What do we do for 10 days?? I figured he'd want to rest. He did just move himself, you know. After he left at Thanksgiving he flew home and made a mad dash to move 17 years worth of stuff in three weeks to a new house. That included doing last minute repairs to his current house for the new owners (part of the contract...)

You know, nothing in our house is normal... and that includes Christmas. Well, the actual holiday was normal. Christmas Eve, Grandma C's house. Christmas Day, mother-in-law's family's place.... I figured after the actual holidays we'd be lazy, go out to eat, go see movies... that kind of stuff.

Nope.

Now there's been a big debate as to who's idea this was - mine or dad's. I say it was dad's. The man just can't sit still. But to put it in a nutshell - Wednesday through Saturday (he left Sunday morning) we went full throttle home make over, all day, every day.

I'm not kidding.

We tiled the hallway and redid the powder room (which is right off the hallway) which included taking down the wallpaper (hideous!!) , taking out the old sink and vanity, light fixture and toilet, painting the room and installing a tile floor, new: moulding, pedestal sink, mirror, light fixture, toilet and hardware. I still have to paint the hallway and put up new moulding before I'm done. To be "officially" done I have to get a new runner and pretty things for the walls. (I only had a mirror and a table in the hallway before.)

Yep - that's how we spent our Christmas..... I need a vacation from my vacation...

Oh, and we were supposed to tile the kitchen while dad was here too but we ran out of time. The good news is we already bought the tile for the kitchen so now it's just a matter of finding the time to do it...

I'm a terrible DIYer - I always forget to take "before" pics. The vinyl flooring in the hallway and kitchen is the same though - 1980's brown, orange and cream shit... original to the house. Now you know why I had to tile over it. It HAD to go.... The previous owners thought it would be just fine to put up wallpaper of their liking and not mess with the floor.

The wallpaper in the bathroom was a.... well, think pastel Monet impressionistic crap (with the brown, orange and cream vinyl floor....) hung terribly to where I'd sit on the crapper and peel the paper at the seems. (I figured that'd get me a remodel faster... hey, it worked!!)

The wallpaper in the hallway was a light silvery, cream, something... I don't know - something yucky. Also hung terribly. (Note to y'all out there. If you can't hang paper correctly, PAINT!!!) Again, with the brown, orange and cream vinyl floor.

SO.... that's how we spend Christmas.... Any takers on coming to visit next year???

true love

when do you know it's true love?

when he sends you flowers every day?

when he gets you that special "something" you've always wanted?

when you finish each other's sentences?

when he can read what's on your mind?

when he can tell you've had a bad day? when he knows what to do when you've had that bad day?

when you feel secure in his arms, knowing everything will always be fine, so long as you're together?

when, no matter what, you know he'd walk through thick and thin, to do whatever is necessary for you and your relationship?

I know when. When you're sitting on the toilet, in your worst possible moment, crying in pain and he's right there beside you, telling you it's going to be ok, while simultaneously running you a sitz bath so you can make as smooth a transition as possible from toilet to bath. And in the end you know he'll still love you and not think less of you even during one of the most grossest moments you can possibly imagine.

If that's not true love I don't know what is....

Update

Well, I'm home and everything went well. For those of you that I didn't tell, I had surgery on parts that "shall not be named". We'll just leave it at that. I'm on good drugs and trying to mend as fast as possible. Sitting is not comfy so lying is the choice position. Apparently David could only best describe me in the recovery room as "feisty". (he's never been around me when I've had surgery before...) I really wanted to leave - that part I DO remember!!!

David's trying to win the "best home nurse ever" award. He's doing a great job too! He's so cute - always asking if there's anything he can get me, anything I want. I'm getting drinks, food - he's even drawing bathes for me! The medicine makes me dizzy sometimes so he's holding my hand and making sure I'm ok getting off the sofa... you name it, he's on it!

I imagine it's pretty hard to play nurse when you've never been in any type of similar situation to know what is needed/ wanted. And as some of you may know - sometimes it's really hard to tell someone what you want/ need when you feel like shit. Saturday was hard as all day I was nauseated and not feeling so hot. When you're already in that state it's hard to coach someone as to what to do - just the tiniest bit of talking made me want to throw up. But he was good - he was patient and waited on me hand and foot. I didn't get any wet washcloths to forehead or neck - but that's because he didn't know and I was too sick to tell him.
Next time - I'll make a note to tell him for next time.

All the animals know something isn't kosher so they're all over me trying to be helpful in a not-so-helpful way. Generally my days are spent me lying on the sofa with Ries and Jax joining me with Liam and Nikki on the floor beside me. I'd post pictures but that's part of the problem.

The last day I was at work our network went SO screwy that my computer wouldn't even work when I popped it out of my dockking station (ditto with the boss too). Needless to say we aren't too happy with the IT guy. And don't go taking up for the IT guy... trust me. this is not the first time, or the second, or the third.... Right now I'm blogging from the home computer.... and all my pics are on my work computer, etc.... anyway I'm sure you can picture me on the sofa wrapped up in a Clemson fleece blanket looking all pathetic, with a cat curled up behind my knees and one curled up in in front of my chest (or at my feet, depending on his mood).

The local friends have been great! I've gotten spaghetti with homemade meatballs (Thanks SP!!!), drunken chocolate dipped strawberries (injected with liqueur - she said they were ok for me to eat - she should know, she's a physcians asst.) and flowers from the gals at the office - " hope everything came out in the end." - what a bunch of jokesters...

Now as soon as I can start t0 ween myself off some of these drugs I have to do my fiscal 2009 bugdet for work. Can't wait until my boss sees when I try turning that in!! No tellin' what I'm going to try and slip by!! (at least when he says "no" I can always blame it on the drugs!!! : )

I'm still stayin' home tomorrow and Wednesday. Good thing too since we have a good bit of snow outside. I hope I didn't write anything too embarrassing in this entry and I hope it makes sense. I think I almost nodded off to sleep 2 or 3 times while writting this. Oh well. once I'm off the meds I can go back and read this and laugh. I hope....

possible break

I had to have a little bit-o-out-patient surgery today. No big deal but I will be out of commission for about a week. I may or may not get a chance to blog while I recoup. I just wanted to give you a heads up that 1) you might not hear from me for a while OR 2) if you do it might be spiced wwith some drug-induced nonsense. Well, you may or may not be able to tell that apart from my regular nonsense.

See, maybe I just shouldn't have told you and you might not have ever been able to tell the difference.....

OMG!!!

We have been interviewing potential candidates for a to-be-open position at my company for the past two days. That means I've had to wear a suit for the past two days. That means to make my ass look smooth/ keep my ass warm I've been wearing tights.

CONTROL TOP tights.

WHO IN THE HELL INVENTED THESE???

It's a love/ hate relationship to be sure.

I can hardly breathe.
I sure as hell won't be going the bathroom for the next two weeks. (Nothing can digest when you're wearing these, you know.)

But man my ass and thighs look good!!!

Damn these things.

long, long 2 weeks....

Sorry for the delay folks. I've been on a business trip in Orlando. Now, before you start with the sarcastic comments about me being in Florida let me tell you that I was outside, relaxing, in daylight for a total of 60 minutes. That's right, a whole hour. And in all honesty it was dusk.

The rest of the time I was working.... with a full on-set case of viral bronchitis. Except all week I didn't know it was bronchitis... I just knew that I felt like shit, my head felt like it was filled with wet cement, my nose was dripping stuff that wasn't clear (I'll spare you the details) and I was constantly hacking up a lung and phlegm. yum. all the while giving presentations, working our booth and, yes, shaking hands and talking to clients.

I had pockets full of kleenex (there goes your trademark down the drain), hand sanitizer and halls all the while hyped up on sudefed and advil (it's all I had). We were at a resort and they didn't have a great selection of drugs at the little store in the lobby. and me being me, was too cheap to pay for a cab to find the closest drug store and buy "real" drugs. Which turned out to be a good call anyway because I'm on Mucinex DM now and it's not doing me much good anyway - which is what the doctor told me to keep doing 'cuz as we all know - antibiotics don't do anything for viruses.

So, I worked 2 weeks straight (worked through the weekend due to the FL thing) so I'm looking forward to this weekend. I think we're decorating the tree tonight. Hopefully I won't hack all over it. If I do I'll be sure to spray it down with Lysol when we're done. ; )

Leave it to a man...

David took the day before Thanksgiving off (because he had to use his vacation.... wish I had that problem...) so I left him a list of things to do to help me get ready for Thanksgiving since we were hosting and I was working Wednesday.

Most of the list consisted of some food prep and little cleaning things the "ladies" don't do. One of the cleaning things was:
- Wipe out the oven and clean the pizza stone - but DON'T run the cleaning cycle because I don't use the oven that much

I came home and David was SO proud of himself for getting most of the things on the list done (and we easily got everything else checked off in a heartbeat) that he was showing me what he got done. He walked over to the oven, open the door and said "yeah, and when I looked in the oven it was mostly just crumbs on the bottom so I just vacuumed it out."

YOU WHAT??!!!!

Yes - ladies and gents. That's how a man's mind works. It was just crummy so he vacuumed it out. It guess it worked and it didn't hurt anything. But it made me laugh. I guess I'm just jealous because I never would of thought of something so easy. And let's face it - the only reason I wanted it wiped out was so when I opened it in front of people they weren't appalled at all the stuff in the bottom. I guess he took care of that....

Ten points for David for getting the job done and ten bonus points for being original (even though he wasn't trying to be.)

not something you hear everyday...

WARNING! This post contains a story that involves the mention of poop. If you have a queasy stomach I recommend you pass on this one.

I walked in from work last night with David standing in the far corner of the dining room/ rowing room, slowly, suspiciously eyeing all around the room.

D: Hon, come over here. Do you smell something?
me: (hesitantly walking over beside him) ew... yeah. smells like shit.
D: (giving me a knowing look) Yeah. Good, so I'm not going crazy.
me: (giving him a "what???" look)
D: so you smell it to. (giving a nod to the room) now try and find it.

Ok, that's odd. Trying to find poop isn't usually part of the problem.

Of course with our menagerie I figured a dog or cat wasn't able to hold it - and just recently, by the smell of it. So I do the obvious first - I start looking at all the openly visible places on the floor.

Nothing. Then I start looking under things.

Rowing machine. Nothing.

China cabinet. Nothing. (dining room and living room are all same big room - currently using living room as dining room - don't judge me.)

Table holding stereo. Nothing. (must have music to erg to!!!)

Erg (aka - rowing maching) cover waded up in corner. Nothing.

Behind matress stacked against wall. (don't judge! no place to put it yet since getting Tempurpedic.) Nothing.

David looks on top of stacked matress. Nothing.

David looks on top of china cabinet. Nothing.

So apparently we have mystery poo somewhere in the dining room. Not good.
1) smells like ass
2) hosting Thanksgiving at our house in a few days

David was able to use his nose to pinpoint a spot on the rug that seemed to be the source of the stink. (husbands are good for something!! : ) He promptly got out the steam cleaner and took care of the issue.

However - that still leaves us wondering - what the hell was it???

We figure one of two things - and this is probably the gross part. However if you have dogs or a kid it probably doesn't rank as too terribly gross in the scheme of things... (I hope...)
1) One of the cats probably did a dog-like butt drag in that area and left a "little extra" on the carpet
2) One of the cats didn't make it to the litter box for whatever reason and Liam, the canine garbage disposal, decided he needed a snack. This is the dog that eats his own vomit and eats rabbit poo like PEZ in the backyard.

I guess we'll never know....

Ah, life with "kids"....

...makes me wonder what else he's eaten off the floor at our house over the years....

Let's welcome Blue Moon

Yet another one of my kooky friends has decided to enter into the blogging world. This time it would be my pole dancing friend SP - from henceforth known as Blue Moon, or BM... or, um... let's just stick to Blue. (hum, didn't think that one through, did she....??)

Let's all welcome Blue! HI!!!!! Go visit her blog "I don't make mistakes, I date them". I've added her link over on the side with all the other crazies.

Where do I begin??

I accidentally had a story-packed weekend... so where do I begin?

Saturday I went with some friends to the "Deck the Halls" Seneca Lake holiday wine tour. For those of you that don't live in NY, Senca Lake is one of the Finger lakes - of the famed "Finger Lakes" wine region. I anticipated having at least one or two stories to tell you about this trip!!! I wasn't let down!!!!

So my friend Yana orchestrated a wine tour 14 of us. During the holiday season they have this "special" thing where you have to buy "special" couples tickets and you go to participating wineries. At your first stop you get a wreath and a cookbook and at each winery you go to they give you an ornament for your wreath and you get "special" tastings paired with a small food sample, etc... all included in the price of the "special" ticket. You get the idea. And to make sure we had proper transport, Yana rented one of those little tour-bus thingies, complete with a driver. It was great!!

Well, we thought it was great until the driver never knew where he was going. This was not Yana's fault, mind you (it was a reputable bus company - but where did they find this guy???) But it kind of takes the fun out of over-indulging when you realize that are responsible for getting you to the next winery, and the next winery, and the next winery, and then home....

oh, by the way- the finger lakes are about an hour from Syracuse. not exactly next door...

Oh, and also, not everyone in our group is a "couple". (they tour kinda descriminates that way, don't they??) but they buddied up because going as a couple is cheaper than buying a "singles" ticket. That was funny in so many ways... but wouldn't be funny to you because you don't know everyone that went, now do you. Anyway....

It just so happened that it was Lisa's bday. (lot's of bday's lately in my circle, isn't there??) Yana and Susanne brought gifts for Lisa to really embarrass her. It worked. The funniest were the "Birthday Bitch" party hat and the "Birthday Girl" sash (think Miss America Pagent) they made her wear. Ok, so she wasn't really diggin' the hat - but she was game on wearing the sash. We made her wear it into every winery.

She got sung to my many strangers. But really? are they still strangers when they sing you happy birthday??), got bought many Redcat shots (local wine shots). Even got it caught on film (much to her dismay) Even SP got in on the action - drawing out her own bday celebrations from earlier this month.














The first winery we go to was Hazlit's - home of Redcat - the most popular wine in the Finger Lakes. The guy pouring behind the counter is dressed at Friar Tuck. It was too much - I had to take a picture. You know me - I had to ask. And the answer was "only a sock".





Then we show up at this winery and find these half drunk (or maybe a bit more than that) frat boys getting hazed. (Or at least that was their story they were stickin' to.) and their crazy shenanegans. who knows. they were just excited to get their picture taken. and even more excited when I told them my blog was read by millions. poor idiots.... they believed me...

I don't think they were drunk... just stupid....












So in the end, on Saturday, fun was had by all.



And I still have Sunday to tell you about!!

I'm married to Ty Pennington II

Check out what my nifty hubby did a few weekends ago.
He done built us some new shed doors. He done a darned spiffy job, if I do say so myself.

Now, that paint job was done on purpose. Don't make me go into the long explaination about pressure treated wood vs. non-pressure treated, etc. take my word for it. That's the way it will stay until spring at which point the unpainted wood will then get a coat of that white stuff and then the whole she-bang will get the appropriate brown that matches the house.

Birthday girls

Recently SP and KL had birthdays. YEAH!!! Happy Birthday!!!

Well, shame on me for not blogging about our little surprise dinner for KL and for me forgetting to snap a few pics of the momentous occasion. In the super-secret-CIA-covert-surprise-birthday-dinner mission I totally forgot to pull out the trusty camera phone. Probably for the better. Any fun captured on a digital contraption would probably had ended us up in Gitmo and our families would have never heard from us again...

So, against my better judgement, to honor KL, I post a picture of JJ.

Well, since SP lives so far away a surprise event was out of the question. Instead it was more of a "we're planning a b-day party for you with food and Jack! what day works best for you??!!"

Yep, it was a fun little evening of food, vanilla cupcakes for SP (can't have chocolate!! oh the HORROR!), chocolate for us, of course, and a fun little game called "Dirty Minds" thanks to KL. Oh and a few beverages - Jack and coke.... Nothing too out of hand - the little event had to take place on a Tuesday and we all (when I say "we", I mean everyone but me.. : )had to drive home...

SP, the b-day girl. Her t-shirt should win a prize...

It says "I don't make mistakes. I date them." That's priceless...

This game is HAR-LARIOUS!! If you havent' played - you should... I think KL found it at Spencers..

You know... I don't think my house is level....

AAHHHHHH!!!!

For those of you that don't know, I don't sleep. Rather, I don't sleep well.


So, go on with your jokes about me being a grandma and going to bed at some insanely early hour but there is a method to my madness. Or some hopefulness to my geriatric-ness. I go to bed early in the hopes that all those hours I spend in bed will total up to some semblance of a "normal" amount of sleep. Because let's face it - I do need more sleep than most, I'll give you that.





So in my never-ending pursuit of blissful sleep the hubby and I finally made the plunge and purchased a TEMPURPEDIC bed. Not some knock-off "memory foam" bed. Nope - we sprung (half-assed pun intended) for the real thing. (I know - you can't tell with the bedspread on... trust me. wanna see the bill???)



get it? half-assed pun... no springs in a tempurpedic... HA! I crack myself up!! : )

Ok - so we haven't gotten around to "doing" this room yet. What you can't see in this picture is the antique armoir on the opposite wall. Really. I know - from this angle it looks all college-student-esque. Well, even from the other angle it looks all college-student-esque, but with an antique armoir in it. But now with the new bed D and I are inspired to finish this room. I'm making a cool headboard - Thanksgiving project. (when I'm done I'm sure HGTV will be knocking at my door to offer me my own show.) And "paint picking" is in the works. So, unlike Wondering Girl, I can't get the equivalent of apartment square footage done in a week, but I'll get it done... eventually....

So - back to the bed. I won't tell you how much we paid for it (I'm almost embarrassed to say) but after sleeping on it last night I CAN tell you that it was WORTH EVERY FREAKIN' PENNY!!! (and that would be a lot of them....) If I didn't actually have to get up and go to work to pay for it I would have stayed in bed ALL DAY!!!!! And I mean it.

I don't usually do product endorsements. (because the whole Veet product review was certainly NOT an endorsement) but let me tell you... this is an endorsement. I slept great and my back didn't bother me AT ALL today (yeah - did I mention I have back issues too??) So -if you're in the market for a new bed, might I suggest a Tempurpedic???

Oh, by the way - skip the Sleep Number bed... a guy I work with got one and said it was a terrible!!! he paid a lot of money for " an expensive air matterss"... just so you know....