Who agreed to this???

KVeg asked me to play on her Bfriend's coed softball team.  Sure I would!!  Then I found out she wasn't playing.  Something about her lack of hand/ eye coordination...  Well this ought to be a blast...

I don't own a glove.  I haven't really played softball since I was 12!!!  C'mon people.  Give me a break!  I haven't been able to make practice.  I'd have to say, all around this was turning out to be a bad idea.  To make matters worse our game was last night..  Let me tell you - I was doing a rain dance in the office like I was a pure blooded Hopi.  Yeah, well, it worked all right.  It was raining.  But apparently they only cancel for lightening, thunder or pouring rain.  I could only muster a drizzle.

I got to the field to warm up.  I was playing left field.  The outfield was a sloppy, wet, spongy mess.  And over the course of the game - which we lost 8 to 1 - I jotted some mental notes for myself for next time.

• Don't wear a thong while playing softball when you're 35.  Especially when you're playing left field and will probably be running lots.
• Don't talk or mumble to yourself in the outfield.  Even though you're used to talking to yourself on a regular basis these people on your team are "new to you" and don't know your habits and probably find this habit odd, if not disturbing.
• Take the constructive criticism from KVeg's BF and a few of the others on the team with graciousness because they are awesome, very polite and mean well.  But that "one guy", not sure about him.  He's coming across as a jerk.  But still smile and nod to him because you haven't figured out where he fits in the scheme of things yet. 
• Be more aware of what you're doing.  You caught that fly ball.  Yeah for you!! But you also apparently celebrated that you caught it before you threw it back in the field and you didn't even realize it!!  Pay attention!!  (although I think you had every right to immediately celebrate because that's the first fly ball you've caught "in action" since you were 12... that was over HALF a lifetime ago....  and did you see that haus that hit it right at me!!)
• Even though you are totally impressed with Jason's skillz you probably ought stop complimenting him on them lest someone think you have a crush on him.  Really I don't.  I truly am impressed with, not his skillz, per se, but his style.  Guy makes it look good!  I give credit where credit is due.  That's all.
• Don't wear the team t-shirt out in public.  Team name is Ball Breakers. Logo is phallic.  On purpose. 

I told KVBF that my feelings wouldn't be hurt if he decided to move me positions.  Do you know how hard it is to run around after balls in a sloppy, soggy wet outfield??  Impossible!  The balls would hit the grass and not bounce, roll, nuthin!  They literally would leave divots in the grass.  I'm not even kidding.  Not much fun sloshing away to a dead-on-the-ground ball....

We'll see how this turns out.  I did have fun so long as no one is competitive enough that they were disappointed in my performance.  I'm positive I'd have more fun if we didn't have to play on a soggy field in the rain.  So for the next few months think of me trying not to get my teeth knocked out from a fly ball on Monday nights after work!!