Is it bad?

Is it bad that I watched the movie Twilight last night and loved it??

Does it make me a dirty old woman to have naughty thoughts about Robert Pattinson? (what is he, 20?)

Is it bad that it makes me wish that my high school experience was like that? Ok, I would have even taken a "regular guy" that was half that passionate, thoughtful and sexy.... (and actually had a little self-control...)

Is it bad that I'm even thinking about any of this at all??

Gotta read up

You have to read up to understand this. Even if you have read, you might want to read again, in proper order, for this to make sense.

A few days ago MH wrote a fun little entry in her blog about getting older . I laughed, as usual. And kept checking back to see everyone's comments. I admit - I've been to many a "home party" but never an "adult home party"....

So today I was reading up on a blog I follow. I don't know her - I just happened upon her blog and I find her highly entertaining. It might help to know that she's German - read her bio first. Since she doesn't name her entries I can't link directly to the entry I want so go here and read the entry from March 19th. It starts out with her walking through downtown Boston. (sometimes she writes more than one entry a day.)

HA! I say...

I think in order to have a successful "adult" home party you must have a much-varied guest list otherwise it will be boring. And who wants a boring party??

Underwear is Important

Since nothing particularly funny or interesting has happened to me recently I thought I share this little anonymous ditty with you:

UNDERWEAR IS IMPORTANT!!
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle...From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. She took a deep breath and stood up boldly to face the crowd. She looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband, who had been standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

Cool or Scary??

I'm bored* at work so I decided to google myself. I haven't done that in eons.

*bored - not as in "not enough to do"... I have PLENTY to do. Please do not be confused. I have SO MUCH to do, in fact I'm a bit overwhelmed. I'm talking "bored" as in the "overwhelmed" kind of bored. If you don't know what I mean don't ask. You'll never understand.

So I type in my first name and maiden name. I keep forgetting there's some chick that does fairy art by the same name...

So then I type in my first name and married name. I get a hit off an interview for a trade mag I did a while back for work. Not interesting.

Then I type in my first name, maiden name and married name. If you know me you'll know this is how I sign up for just about everything.

BINGO!

Facebook, LinkedIn, press releases I've written...

but what got my attention is that it brought up a link to an entry of Wandering Girl's BLOG!!!

WHA???

How creepy is that? In the body of her text WG wrote out my name with "aka Apple Crisp Girl" (cuz that's her family's nickname for me - long story). Probably so if her mom was reading she'd know who WG was talking about. (she probably might not recognize me by my "real" name).

And the entry showed up in GOOGLE!!!

Weird....

And the entry was from 2006!!!

Does anyone else find that creepy?? odd?? peculiar??

I'm loved!!!

See what I got for Valentine's Day??!!!! It's great!!!!

I sure do love me some chocolate covered strawberries!!!

Oh and other fruit is good too.. : )

Early Valentine's Present

Last night I hosted Bunco. Or as D likes to call it, Plinko. I was already behind the 8-ball when I discovered Monday night that I had forgotten to purchase the prizes.

Quick call to KVeg - not working out darling - must go purchase Bunco prizes!!!

Which is not an easy thing to do for a non-shopper, mind you!

But I did it. And came home to hastily make dinner (at 8pm) and prep for the festivities the next evening. You know, chop veggies for dip. Make dip. Make other dip so it only has to be put in the oven, etc...

Last night D knew I was going to come home in Tazmanian-devil mode. Here was part of my to-do list to get ready for the evening:
- pre-heat oven
- vacuum
- empty kitty litter
- set out tables
- covers for tables
- set out Bunco "stuff" on tables
- set out snacks on tables
- finish veggie dip
- finish cutting radishes I forgot on Monday
- slice cheese and salami that I also forgot on Monday
- stick buffalo dip in oven
Set out:
- hummus (vegan!!)
- salsa (vegan!!!)
- soda
- cups
- bowls, plates, napkins, platicware
- chips (2 kinds)
- crackers
-etc...

You get the idea. All before 6:30-ish. I don't get home until at least 5:30.

I stepped in the door and the hubby had already vacuumed, emptied kitty litter, tidied up the kitchen, set out the tables and chairs and lit a candle. AND he had moved a floor lamp into the room because there's poor lighting in there.

Hell - I hadn't even thought of the lamp!!

collectively now: AAAWWWWWW!!!!!!!

He's sweet isn't he? He said he knew I had a lot to do and wanted to help out a little....

aaawwww....

thanks hon ; )

Ta-da!!

Here's the proof! I only posted a "few"... if you want to see more KVeg posted 30+ on FB....


Here I am striking my rockstar pose so you can see my "mullet" skirt. All business in the front, party in the back!

Me and KV... full length - you gotta see the whole outfits!

Two sexy bitches!

KV and the b-day boy (my B-I-L)

Me and the b-day boy and his boyz

KV's so proud of me- gettin' all dolled up and cabbin' it out in NYC!

And the PROOF! I WAS out dancing!!

Alex, me and Greg. We was groovin'!!!

Am I having fun or what??

There's the proof!

Watch out! KV unleashed the BEAST!! ; )

Whew!!

Well folks - I made it back from NYC in one piece! But there was a hiccup - David wasn't able to go : (

I'll spare you the details but he was quite pukey.. and needless to say after an hour on the road it was decided this was not his weekend to party in NYC. I turned the K9 SUV around and returned him to his warm bed and let Nikki and Liam watch over him.

KVeg and I continued on. I mean really - someone had to represent at the b-day party!!

All I can say is "Fun was had by all."

I'll post pictures soon.

But those of you who really know me will be shocked to know the following:

1 - I never once fell or even tripped in my shoes! although I did step on a poor boys foot - I think I probably broke his toe but he was too kind to admit it.

2 - I kept my shoes on all night and didn't even bitch about how much my feet hurt until actually on the way home!!!

3 - I danced like a rock star all night long!! and didn't even require coaxing!!!

4 - I didn't get to bed until FIVE AM!!!!

EAT THAT all you doubters!!! I know you're out there!!! You didn't think I could do it!!!

And I owe KV millions!! She made me look like a party girl (as much as possible, anyway) and kept me going all night long!!!!

A big WHOO HOO for KVeg!!!

NYC here I come!

This weekend I'm going to NYC!! My B-I-L is turning 30 (ok, he already did last week) but he and a few of his friends are all turning 30 the end of January/ beginning of February and decided to rent out a bar and throw a big shindig.

Me, the hubby and KVeg are heading down for the festivities. I'm so excited!!! I was going to just get a new top but was sternly advised by KV that I CANNOT wear jeans. Apparently my EddieBauer/ LL Bean look just won't do at a NYC party... (so said KV)

Whatever...

I have spent countless hours SHOPPING... which y'all know I hate... looking for the "right" outfit. KV has drug me to just about every frickin' store our lovely mall has to offer on TWO separate weekends. After all this I won't be shopping for two more years... I can't stand to even look at clothing stores.

The goal was something sexy. Something that I wouldn't normally wear.

Well folks - goal accomplished. I bought a skirt, a top and shoes that will knock your socks off.

A friend affectionately nicknamed my skirt my "mullet skirt" - all business in the front, party in the back!! See why??














Yep - I'm actually going to wear this. (not with that top - this is just the pic off their website).

I would show you the shoes but I can't find them... plus they're a surprise for the hubby...
*wink*wink*

I will tell you that normally I'm about 5'6" - 5'7" with the shoes I'm easily 5'11". Maybe even pushing 6'. Not kidding.

And yes - I can walk in them...

I'm bringin' sexy to NYC.

meow!

Insigtful questions... or not??

So I have questions from Wandering Girl to answer...

hmmmm... lemme think...

1) What's your favorite thing in the new Jeep?
Since it's been a bazillion below zero lately I have to admit the seat warmers make my buns quite toasty!! And we all know there's plenty to warm up!

2) What would you be willing to do to get your dream job?
I wouldn't do anything.... Maybe hop on one foot and screech like a monkey while juggling flaming batons... but not just anything.... I do have standards ya know.

3) Under what circumstances do you believe yourself to be capable of murder?
What kind of question is this? I would say if an animal is in extreme physical duress... but that's not true. I couldn't bring myself to kill an animal either. While contemplating this question I thought about being part of assisted suicide (I would imagine some consider that murder) but the conditions would have to be exceptionally dire. (but of course they would if someone were considering such actions.) So there. That's my "sort-of" answer. I would never do such a thing out of malice, though, only compassion. (did I just set myself up for a lawsuit at some point in the future... do I need lawdog now??!! He better come pro bono since you set me up!!!)

4) What was your favorite birthday? What happened? Who was there?
hmmm. I don't know if I would consider it my favorite per se, but it was probably my most memorable. Seeing as my b-day is the day after yours, you'll understand... (I have a January b-day for those of you that aren't in the know...) I had a pool party one year at the Betsy Mills Club. Don't worry - it was an inside pool. I don't polar bear. I was in second grade and it was neat because I never thought I would ever have a cool pool party- you know - having a winter birthday and all. My whole second grade class was there. Kirk McCutchin gave me a little stuffed duck I named Quackles. I still have it. really, I do. And my babysitter, Chrissy was our lifeguard (don't worry - she was qualified) and had to save someone who almost drowned - it was Ben McCurddy - the severely ADD kid. Of course we didn't know he was severely ADD at the time - no one knew what that was back then...

5) If you could be at home for 3 months, do you think your house would be cleaner than mine is?
Nope. My house is never clean. I pay people to clean it and I never clean it in the interim. Ok, maybe David vacuums or something- but I don't. I have so much going on that when I have a "slow spell" I just sit my lazy ass on the sofa and do nuthin'. I keep saying I'm going to organize the basement, finish decorating our bedroom or something heroic like that. But I don't. I have good intentions... High aspirations.... but nope.

Hope over Fear

I watched the inauguration today. I feel very hopeful for our future.

I won't get all politco on y'all - but I'll say this:

I was moved.

...probably to tears if I'd been at home by myself. (I'm a sap like that) But I wasn't. And I wasn't going to start cryin' at work because they probably think I'm unstable enough as it is. You might agree that Obama's speech warranted a tear or two but you don't know my office.

And even though Bush isn't my kind of politics I do have to say that I did feel sorry for him when he got such a weak applause during the ceremony. I mean really - from the station I was watching it sounded as though, of the 2 million people present, only 200 gave a sorry golf clap. Even 200 of 2 million isn't 27% .... (approval rating, that is...)

But I digress....

A new chapter in history. Let's hope with it comes the change and hope we all need right now.

Hoof, I mean, foot in mouth

Friday the hubby and I went to a vegan restaurant with my girl KVeg (aka Crazy Pet Lady). It was great - we were there there for vegan pizza nite. Ever had vegan cheese? Actually it was fabulous! I would have never had guessed!

Anyway, as the hubby was paying for all the food at the counter KV and I were at the table commenting on the great decorating of the vegan cafe. There was this great articulating lamp perched over our table that I loved!

KV: isn't this lamp awesome?
me: yeah! that would look great by our leather chair!!

deafening silence.

I think I heard crickets chirping. I swear I think everyone in the cafe was staring at me. I was in the middle of PETA-types and I just yelled out that I have a leather chair.

Not my proudest moment.

Here's a word of wisdom to anyone heading out to a vegan restaurant who's not vegan- keep your comments about your leather furniture to yourself.

He's got a "tooma"

Poor Liam. He's the most gentle, laid back dog ever.

I mean, EVER.

Big guy has, rather, had a tumor on his rear left leg that our vet was worried was pushing, or worse, wrapped around his sciatic nerve. It needed to be removed - and soon.

We got an estimate for the surgery from our vet at the end of November. (Gasp!! Let's just say it was pushing 4 digits and leave it at that.) Due to our work travel schedules we decided to schedule the surgery for the first week in January so we'd be there for his recuperation.

Well, two weeks later our vet (or at least the vet in our animal hospital that does all the surgery) injured the ligaments in her hand, had surgery on her own hand and is unable to perform surgery for AT LEAST 6 weeks. Due to the possible seriousness of Liam's tumor she didn't want us to wait that long to get it removed.

Enter in "the specialist".

We ended up having to take him to a surgery specialist to get the tumor removed.
The good news - we got it removed on schedule. The bad news - it cost us twice as much.

What we won't do for our "kids"...

Ok - I have a picture to post but blogger is being a pain. I'll have to post it later, I guess...

Thanks Dad

When I was 15 and learning how to drive (you can drive at 15 in SC...) my dad let me take the family minivan for a spin around the circle once. Then he told me "you can drive this again after you learn how to drive that" and pointed to his truck. His manual, stick shift truck.

Ugh.

Really??!! Do I have to??

So the next few weeks were filled with dad and me going out and around the neighborhoods in the truck. And me whining about having to learn in the truck... me trying to figure out to in the hell to go from "stop" into first... smoothly.... Anyone who knows how to drive a stick knows getting from first into the other gears is easy. It's going from "stop" to "moving" that's tricky (when you're first learning...)

The best was when dad and I headed out, again, for practice. Dad climbed into the passenger seat with his tall 64oz plastic cup of ice water. (it was SC in summer....). As I was driving down the street dad decided to set his cup on the dashboard. As I came to the stop sign he forgot about his cup.... that is until I started back up again. I was stuttering in first gear, trying to get it going. All that back and forth sent his ice water tumbling into his lap. I heard words from him that I don't think I had ever heard before... That was the last time he brought water with him in the truck.... ; )

But alas... many years later I've been grateful on many occasions that my dad taught his daughter how to drive a stick. Like today.

David dropped my Jeep off at the dealer to get a few things fixed on it that we didn't see when we bought it. I drove David's manual Dodge Neon to work. In a snowstorm. On top of the ice we had from yesterday.

Great fun.

Since I wasn't thrilled about diving the Neon home David said he'd swing by my office and swap out his car from the loaner (a minivan, I should add.... I haven't driven a minivan since I first learned to drive... ugh!!)

Well, because of the ice and snow and the angle at which I had parked the Neon David could only spin the wheels of the Neon in our parking lot. I had to come down and we had to do the famous "Julie in the car, driving in reverse while David pushing from the front" routine.

We got it out. But let me tell you. If I didn't know how to drive a stick we'd been stuck.

Ok, not really cuz I wouldn't have driven the car to work this morning... but you get my drift.

The point of the story is - I bitched and complained to no end when I was 15 and "forced" to learn to drive a manual transmission. But I'm very grateful I know how and have great memories of learning too. Every kid should have to learn - even if it's just to spend quality time with a parent or close adult.

Thanks dad.

New Year's Resolution

Can you still make a New Year's Resolution on the 6th??

I wasn't going to make one. I usually don't stick to them very well.
Last year it was to cuss less. That didn't f**ckin' work.

But just today, at work, I decided I should resolve to not get so worked up while at work.

This job is MUCH less stressful than my last one. But every once in a while something comes along and really gets my panties in a wad. Now I shouldn't react the way I do because it's still a cake walk relative to what I used to have to put up with. But I think I do it just to get the good ol' blood flowin' again.

But it's never worth it.

So today, even though it's been a shitfest (relatively speaking, of course) I'm not getting all worked up over it.

I'm just not.