skinny bitch

Last night I ran 4.5 miles at the lake.  Granted - it was probably an 11 or 12 min/ mi pace....  I usually would know except three minutes into running my beam-me-up-Scottie-fancy-GPS-watch ran out of battery... and I don't wear a "backup watch" to time my run.  Although it occurred to me when I was done I probably have a chronograph on my iPod or something...

I walked a bit to warm up (these joints need a little warmth before I can start into my trot these days) and then hit it with my bouncy- walk (aka my 12 min/ mi. pace).  My calves started tightening up immediately.  Not cramping - not bad enough for me to actually stop - but it was painful.  A few times I did "pull over" into the grass to stretch them out.  (I didn't want to get run over by rollerbladers or out-of-control-tykes on bikes!)  I'd start out jogging again and they would start to burn instantly.  I persevered.  It took me to mile marker 1.75 before the burn was out!!  WTF??  I'm convinced it was because I wore high wedge sandals to work.  (Close your gaping mouth.  Yes, I do own a pair of high wedge sandals and yes they are mine, not borrowed...)

As I was clopping along at my Clydsdale pace I was going over where this extra 35 (ok, maybe 40) extra pounds has come from since college.  (In all fairness I do not aspire to get back to my "college weight".  Honestly it was too low.  A good 10 - 15 pounds heavier than college is a healthy weight for me.)  As I was pondering this my brain jumped to the very "unhealthy" genes I'm probably carrying.  Over the past 10 years I've had several relatives on both sides die.  Two of them very unexpectedly and at young ages. 

Because of health problems in my family I've always tried to keep on top of getting all the appropriate health tests on a regular basis - ex. blood pressure, cholesterol, thyroid and even arthritis indicators.  It occurred to me that even though I bitch and complain that since I've hit 30 I put in weight sooo easily it's probably a blessing in disguise.  If I was a naturally skinny bitch I wouldn't give two thoughts to my health.  I probably wouldn't work out at all.  And then I'd probably end up dead at a young age of some hereditary disease that I could have prevented if I had exercised regularly and/ or been on top of my game and always made sure I had the basics checked out by my doctor.

That said I want y'all to make sure you're getting everything checked out.  Especially if you are having a specific problem.  Even if it scares you to do it.  Even if you don't think you have the time.  Because there are people out there counting on you so you have to take good care of yourself you can take care of everyone else!!

WOW!

Have you played around yet with the new backgrounds that blogger offers??  I know MH has 'cuz I saw her background as I was going through them.

I'll stick with this for a while until I get bored with it.

Um... excuse me.

The hubby is out of town this week.  Which means 1) my dinner last night consisted of beef jerky and a gin & tonic and 2) Nikki dog sleeps in the bed with me all night.

We have a HUGE king bed.  But this is how I woke up this morning:

(please excuse my bodonkadonk in the picture.  It was very awkward trying to get these shots by myself..
..  and I was getting the evil eye from Nikki because this flash-thingy kept going off while she was trying to get some beauty sleep...)

Note in these first two image my ass hangin' off the edge of the bed, the body pillow between us, acting like Nikki's bolster:

In this picture please note aaaalllllll  that bed space that is empty.  (except for Karl Kat grooming himself on the far edge.)

What you can't tell is that I'm kinda wrapped around the upper corner of the bed too.  I'm essentially spooning with my dog.  Would have been better if my butt didn't hang off.  She's such a bed hogger....

P.S.  see that green blanket that she's not on???  That's supposed to be the dog blanket....

End of an era

Funny lady is retiring.    She gave us her notice last week and her last day will be August 18th.  She's worked here 18 years.

So please forgive me if I go bat-crazy in August.

She looks and acts like she's in her 50's.  The oldest someone thought she was was 63.  Truth is she's 70 and a half.  She deserves to kick back and enjoy the rest of her life.

She's worked her whole life and retiring was a big decision for her.  She told me and my boss at the same time that she was retiring.  She cried three times during our conversation.  I think she's a little mixed about it.

My boss:  So , what are you going to do with all your new free time??
FL:  (without skipping a beat, and through tears...) oh, I think I'll start pole dancing! 
(and continues to smile, laugh and cry at the same time.)

I'm going to miss that sense of humor!!!

Oh!! That's why!!!!

Ever have something blatantly obvious in front of you but you just don't figure it out at the moment?  And then later it dawns on you and you think what an idiot you are for not realizing it sooner??

Nope??  Just me then, I guess.

The last few days I've been feeling especially bloated.  Right now I'm eating lunch at my desk and it hits me.

DUH!  I've been packing myself full of salads for the past few days! 

Uh, ever heard of fiber???

The hubby and I belong to a CSA (food co-op kinda thing) and in the past two weeks I've gotten lots of salad greens.  The hubby really doesn't eat it and it's been piling up so yesterday I brought in all the greens and any other salad fixin's I had.  I even stopped at the grocery and bought a few things to round the bar out.  And we've been having "Office-Kitchen Salad Bar" for lunch.  ("we" as in my office.)

As I'm sitting here with my plate full-o-salad it occurred to me that I'm eating a lot of raw veggies... more than I have in a looong time.  Duh.  (insert V-8 head smack here...)

Must run in the family...

Today's funny story is actually from my brother.  Apparently I'm not the only one in the family that is prone to moments of super-stupiddom...

My brother is in CA and is starting school next month.  Until then he is trying to get better acquainted with his surrounds.  By "surroundings" I mean Orange County.  Now he doesn't have a car - which is both by choice and financial reasons.  But the OC has an extensive bus system so he was never worried that he wouldn't be able to get where he needed to go.

This past Friday he got on the bus to visit a friend north of him in Huntington Beach.  He consulted the bus system's website to get his route.  And he got there Friday just fine.  Problem was, when he went to leave on Saturday he realized not all the buses that run during the week run during the weekend.  Therefore the buses he took to get there he couldn't take to get home.  So he had to wing it. 

Apparently he's not good at "winging it".

I'll spare you the long version.  The short version:

He got on a bus at 9AM Huntington Beach.  He didn't actually get home until almost 8PM that evening.  He lives 25 miles from Huntington Beach.  Even considering terrible traffic it obviously shouldn't have taken him ALL DAY to get home.    Also, within that time frame he went back and forth through Huntington Beach a few times.  Correct me if I'm wrong but going back and forth thru your original destination is usually not the most direct route to take...

Note for travelers heading to CA and planning on using the bus system.  When they give the direction the bus is going they do not say "north", "south", "east" or "west".  It'll say something like "Los Alamos Hwy".  If you don't know where that is in relation to where you are you're screwed.  Which apparently he was....

Alas, after talking to him Saturday night I promptly got on the internet and sent him a copy of the Thomas Guide for the OC.  If you're heading to CA for any extended period of time I suggest you get one for your area.  You'll need it.  Especially if you're relying on the bus system.

wish I was more tech savvy so I could share...

Wednesday I drove to Plattsburgh for a work meeting.  It's actually quite beautiful.  It's on Lake Champlain, 30 miles from Montreal and the weather Wed and Thurs was absolutely gorgeous!

Plus I opt to drive through the Adirondacks to get there instead of an all-interstate route.  Again - gorgeous!  And this time I drove the hubby's Civis si... a little zippy 6-speed with low profile tires and almost 200 HP!!  Oh yeah - MUCH more fun than driving my Jeep!!

Since Platts. is so close to Quebec they get all sorts of Canadian radio stations.  Including the French ones.  Which totally made me laugh in my car.  This is where I wish I were more tech savvy to insert an audio file from a station so you would know what I'm talking about.

I don't speak French.  I didn't take it in HS.  I've only been to Paris once, briefly, as in only a day or so, over 15 years ago.   So to me French is a silky, sexy, romantic language.  It's easy on the ears.  And the few times I've ever heard it spoken that's how it sounds to me.  But I was channel surfing in the car and apparently tuned into a French rock station.  And they were in the middle of some contest or something.  Something NOT sexy.  The DJ was shouting on and on in French.  I could only imagine something like:

"Hurry and call in now!!!  Be caller 10 and win a deluxe trip for two to Hawaii!!!!!  Can you believe it?!?!?  A TRIP TO HAWAII!!!"

Actually I'm sure the DJ was yelling, not shouting.  It was French all right, but it was coarse and hard and just sounded... funny.  Not right at all!!

I wish I could share it with you so you could understand how ridiculous it sounded.  Alas, I can't so I'll share some photos I took instead.

Dinner overlooking the boats on Lake Champlain

Beautiful sunet over the lake

Fields of sunflowers!!!

I forgot to take picutres!

We had RR's "nuptial cookout" last Thursday at my house.  And of course I forgot to take pictures!!  (which is why it's probably a good thing I didn't go into professional photography...  forgetting to take pictures would hamper my income, I'm sure of it!)

But there was sooo much food that I brought more in the office on Friday and we continued the celebration with leftovers in the office kitchen.  I DID get a picture of this.  (That's Funny Lady in there.)

Here's some pie.  This picutre is for you Tif!!

The cookout at the house was good... unfortunately is was so DARN HOT that we could all barley stand to sit under the umbrella out on the deck.  Everyone lingered inside (in the AC) for a while before heading outside and talking.  When I mentioned going back in to get chips and other munchies everyone got up and went inside and ate everything while standing in the kitchen.  (I only have a "one butt" kitchen so I was cramped with 8 of us in there...)  While we were inside enjoying the comforts of the air the hubby was outside yelling at the grill to start properly.  Luckily finally getting it to cooperate.  The only reason everyone went back outside was because he brought the burgers inside and everyone filled their plate.  The reasonable next step was to go outside and sit and the table and eat. 

Again - hotter'n hell outside still.  No breeze.  We sat around talking for a while and then I suggested we get dessert and to do the champagne toast for the newlyweds!  I didn't have to ask twice!  Everyone was back in the kitchen.  We stayed inside for the toast and to enjoy FL's homemade strawberry pie.  YUM!!!  After dessert was over everyone left. 

The hubby commented that they were there for exactly 3 hours.  To the minute!  But in that heat I'm surprised they stayed that long!!!  Ugh! 

The heat wave is supposedly over - but it's suppose to get up to 90 today.  (which is cooler than last week!)  And I'm now making sure I take full advantage of my pool!!

How could I forget?!?!?!?

The weekend was so long that I forgot to update you on an "incident" we had Friday afternoon.  Don't worry.  KVeg has already been told this story so no one needs to worry about her sensitive nature being traumatized.  Besides, there's a happy ending.

Friday my boss let the office out early at 3 so I headed home home to do a little shrub trimming.  I did just a bit and was so zonked that I went inside to "rest" for a bit and fell sound asleep on the sofa.  While I was sleeping the hubby was trimming our tall evergreen trees with the electric hedge trimmers. 

I woke up from a deep, groggy sleep because the hubby was yelling at me to come outside.  Once I got out there he looked helplessly at me and said "I don't know what to do!"  I walked over to find three baby sparrows, with feathers but still little tufts of fuzz, on the ground, their nest above in the tree, in tatters.  Apparently the nest and the birds did not beat the match with the hedge trimmers. 

The hubby was devastated.  Two of the birds appeared fine but the third one...  well, the hubby accidentally cut one of it's legs off with the trimmers at the "knee".  I told him I wasn't sure he was going to make it.  I was pretty certain he was going to bleed to death.  After assessing the situation in another 10 minutes the bleeding appeared to stop.  The sparrow parents were on the fence behind us, I'm sure shouting obscenities at us for hurting their children and their house.

I told the hubby we need to step away and let the parents do their thing.  While we were hanging out on the deck I got online and searched what to do in this situation.  If they babies are healthy and the parents are around it says let the parents take care of it.  Since one was injured I looked up wildlife rehab in our area and found Devine Nature Wildlife Rehab Center.  Actually, the farm itself is called BMR Acres.    I called up, explained the situation and Mary Ellen told me to come on over.  So we packed up our little bird in a plastic bowl lined with tissue and set off.

Once there Mary Ellen took the bird and agreed it may or may not live.  She was going to have to feed it every 30 -60 minutes for the next few days.  We also got a tour of their facility.  It's quite the set up!!  They have a "Wish List" so the hubby and I are going to gather up some stuff and take over to them.  They're always looking for donations and items from their wish list.  So if you're cleaning out and have those things to throw away please send it to them instead.  Or send it to me and I'll make sure it gets there.

And for an even better ending...
Mary Ellen just called me to let me know that the Pegleg is doing great!!!  He's able to stand and balance on both legs.  She anticipates she'll be able to release him soon!  Thanks Mary Ellen!!!

A looong weekend

The hubby and I had a great weekend!  Sort of...

Saturday we went to Canada to visit my BFF (Rx) from junior high.  Rx, her hubby and their little girl rented a house for the weekend along with another couple they know in Niagara-on-the-Lake.  Yes, that IS the name of the town.  It's a cutesy winery region so there are lots of things to do.  Since we were just up for the afternoon/ evening we just went out to dinner and hung out at the house drinking wine until we had to kick it on home.   (rather, we all drank except the hubby as he had to drive us 3 hours home...)
Good times, good times.

Sunday we went to the hubby's Aunt and Uncle's "camp" on Lake Ontario.  There were a million people there!!  Family and friends galore!  It was a good time - partly because we were able to bring the dogs so I didn't worry about them home alone nor did we have to leave early to get back to them.  There were only two minor setbacks to the day.  The hubby's cousin brought their 9 month-old baby boy.  Needless to say my MIL kept jabbing kid comments my way all day.  She even went so far as to say "you just have them and I'll raise them for you!"  Um...  if you want more kids that badly why don't you adopt???   Needless to say she still hasn't gotten the message to drop the child issue.  But at least I'm to "a place" that I don't get as worked up about it anymore.  But I still find it hard not to throw some snarky comment back at her about it.  As all DIL's know - the MIL can dish it out but they can't take it.  At least not without starting a huge fight.  So I keep my mouth shut.  And no, seeing a cute infant did not change my mind about my baby-making plans.  So for all my friends out there that are still hoping I'll change my mind - sorry.  Not happenin'.

The other setback was that Niki fell down the stairs.  But not just any stairs...  The house is built into a hill.  To get down to the water you can walk down the side of the house, down the hill or you can take the very looong, steep stairs off the back deck.  I'd been walking around with the dogs all day but apparently Niki decided she was going to give the stairs a try.  I only saw her flop down the last 4 or 5 stairs to the ground but other people said she started her fall about one-third of the way down.  Everyone ran over to her because she was just lying there.  The hubby's 11 year-old cousin even started crying because she thought she was dead!  (she wasn't the only one who thought that.)  She laid there a bit with all of us around her as I was gently poking and prodding to see where she was injured.  I couldn't find any tender spots.  After a few minutes she got up and walked off like nothing had happened!!

Faker.  She's such an attention hog!

In other news....

Have you heard the Northeast has been getting a heat wave??  The worst of it started Monday and I think should end today.  So what did I do on Monday and Tuesday??  I did lots of hard, demanding outdoor physical labor!  (of course...)

I'm hosting a cookout tonight for my office to celebrate the recent wedding of one of our staff.  This event got me to finally do something about our deck that is slowly falling apart.  Falling apart because 1) it's old and 2) the original owners didn't build it correctly and now it sags.  I do not have the time, energy or money to rebuild the deck right now (which is what's going to have to eventually happen.)  Our big "house project" this year was buying new windows so the deck is just going to have to wait.   So to by myself some time I used a product called "Restore" from Lowes.  It's not a stain and it's not necessarily a paint.  It has the consistency of a grout slurry and comes with a special roller for application.  It eventually will form a hard, non-skid surface over the deck wood.  I wouldn't use it on a new deck or anything.  But it's great as a "last resort".  Which is where we currently are....

My goal was just to refinish the walking surface prior to the cookout.  I figured we'd replace the railing (which needs to be replaced - can't wait on that one.) and paint the vertical surfaces in the next few weekends.  So on Monday I went to work removing the existing paint with a power sprayer, etc and asked the hubby to start removing the lattice insert pieces that made up the "guts" of the railing since we'll be replacing those anyway.  I looked up later and realized he removed ALL the railing.  He said he did it because it would be easier to for me to paint.  Wasn't that sweet???  It was.  Except now I have to figure out what to do for railings for our cookout since I don't want anyone accidentally falling off the side of the deck....

So all day Tuesday (which I took as a vacation day.  Some vacation.....)  I painted.  And painted more.

Did I mention we're in a heat wave???   Did I mention we have a HUGE deck???  (almost 500 sqft!!)

Yes I wore sunscreen (70+, no less) and a hat, shorts and a bathing suit top.  My cheeks still got pink!!  (yes, I reapplied throughout the day.)  And Tuesday when the hubby went to put the sunscreen on me he noticed - well, it's kind of hard not to notice - that my back had broken out terribly from all the sweat and sunscreen the day before.  When I say "broken out" I don't mean a few blocked pores here and there.  It's like a rash!  I'm covered!! It's quite disgusting, actually.  I'm not burnt at all.  But I think that was my body trying to tell me not to do physical outdoor labor in a HEAT WAVE!!!  Needless to say I will not be wearing a tank top this evening at the cookout. 

I'll try and take some pictures of the Par-tay this evening to share.  And I'll try not to make it so long until my next post!!

I'm home!

Sorry to be so delinquent in posting but dad doesn't have internet or internet access of any kind.  But that's ok because I had the worst head cold (or allergies - still TBD) while I was with him. 

For those of you who caringly asked - Dad is doing great.  He had a protruding disc that needed fixin'.  Originally they were going to just "trim it" but the night before the doc called and said he'd changed his mind - he was going to remove it.  Dad has this same surgery about 7-8 years ago and was in the hospital a week.  This time the doctor was able to do it less invasively and he only had to spend the night.    Can I just say Dad on Percoset is a hoot!

As expected Dad was flirting with all the nurses even in pre-op.  (He'd say he was just being nice but I call it flirting...)  He even had the Chaplin crackin up.  He was still crackin 'em up after surgery in his room when he was all high on Percoset (and lord knows what else they gave him.)  Funny guy, as usual!

I stayed all week and didn't end up leaving until Saturday.  I made an overnight pit stop in VA and then got home around 9pm Sunday night.  Needless to say I was pooped yesterday and not in the mood to start blogging. 

But there's more to this story (there always is...) and I'll fill in some details more later today or tomorrow.

Hmmm.  Where to begin??  I've been on the road and am currently in Charleston, SC.  I'm in a waiting room while my dad is having back surgery.  Not only am I sitting here waiting, but my brother is here with me!!!  For ya'll who know the story I am glad to report he is doing absolutely fabulous!  I'm so proud of him!!!  He leaves later this week to fly back to CA to start school. 

You know what I hate?  Getting to the bottom of your meal and finding something inedible in your food.  Although my dad is having surgery at this really modern, fabulous facility, I still got to the bottom of my salad in the cafeteria and found a dead bug.  Just writing about it is making me throw up in my mouth just a little...   Needless to say I didn't bother to capture it digitally to share...

I should also note here that if you're a friend of mine who reads this and lives in SC please do not be offended that I did not call to get in touch.  I didn't tell anyone I was coming because my only reason for coming was to take care of my dad during and after his back surgery.  Once my mother flew out to CO to "take care of me" after I had surgery and I hardly saw her.  She'd make me breakfast in the morning then get in my car and drive all the way to Denver to go antiquing and not come home until 5 or 6 in the evening.  She did this every day the whole week.  Needless to say I didn't feel especially taken care of and I'm not going to do that to my dad.... 

I'm a little brain dead so I'm just going to recount my adventures from most recent back.  'Cuz it's too hard to try and start at the beginning and go in chronological order...

So I drove dad and my brother to Charleston early this morning for dad's surgery.  Last night at dad's it occurred to me that his house is filled with "bloggable things".  Like this:

This is an actual bull ball sac.  Really.  My dad said it was a gift.  Who gives this as a gift?!?!?!?    Apparently this says a lot about my dad's friends...

On my way down to SC I stopped in WV.  (which is how I ended up with my brother.)  I got roped into going to church at my mom's little country church.  And when I say "country church" my brother and I estimated there were about 15 - 20 people, including the kids*.  And they had no piano player.  Apparently she threw out her back baling hay....  And it just so happened that my mpther gave the sermon that day, which happened to be Father's Day.  She said the sermon was on "Loving Father's".  But if you're a church goin' person you also know the story as the Prodigal Son.  My brother and I are convinced she chose that particular sermon because he and I were there.... 

*I was under the impression this was a little country church out in farming country.  And indeed it is small and out in the country.  I guess I also assumed moderate to poor socioeconomic status of attendees too...  But someone pulled out of the parking lot in a new Mercedes SUV.  Corn and hay must be good this year...

The previous night I stayed with my Aunt Newlywed and her husband Fiddler.  (btw - their 4 year anniversary is next week...)  This was the first time I saw their new house up on "the hill".  I'm not exactly sure how many acres they own but it's fair to say they have "land".  Aunt N took me on a tour of the "property" in their 6-wheel Polaris "thingy".  It's like an all wheel drive, souped up golf cart/ mini truck thing.  And we definitely needed the all wheel drive.  We were back on "the hill" in mud.  So in my infinite wisdom I decided to run "the hill" the next morning. Let's say that I definitely need a new pair of running shoes.  And there will forever be a 6" deep imprint of my foot on their land....

I finally got off "the hill" and out to the road.  I saw what looked like a dead little bird in the middle of the road and for some reason took a second glance.  It wasn't dead.  Something was wrong with one of it's legs.  So again, infinite wisdom, I decided to pick it up and bring it back to the house to see if there was anything that could be done for it.  I've been hanging around KVeg too much.... 

When I got back to the house I had to peel off my shoes and socks (and leave them outside) and had to scrub the splattered mud off my legs in the shower.  It was a fun run!!!  (if not exceptionally hard!!)

And now for the best story of all:

Last Monday I was to fly out to Chicago for another meeting.  My original flight at 11:30am had been cancelled and I was rescheduled for a 7pm flight.  I got to the airport and was at my gate by 6pm.  Our airport is little.  They had three flights going out of the same gate at 6:30, 7 and 7:15.  The first two flights were to Chicago and the last one to DC.  Since there were so many people sitting right at the gate I sat in the seating at the empty gate across from where I was boarding. 

I kept an ear our for my flight number and destination.  I kept hearing they were boarding to Chicago but it wasn't my flight number.  So I waited.  After a lot of folks got on the plane and out of my gate area seating I moved over to my gate.  I continued to sit and wait.  I even asked the attendant about my flight.  And I asked by flight number.  She replied that it was late and the plane coming in wasn't even landing until 9:45pm.  Ugh.  Oh well. I decided to just sit and read.  at 9:50 they boarded a plane to DC.  After that the attendant came over and asked me what flight I was waiting for.  I looked up and I was the ONLY person in the waiting area!!!!

WTF!!!

I must've sat and watched my plane board several hours earlier!!  And when I asked about my flight number the attendante must have misunderstood me and gave me the info on the flight to DC that had just boarded and left.

She booked me on the 6am flight for the next morning.  So I had the hubby come and get me.

But wait, there's more!!

I got home and set my new voice-activated clock's alarm to 4:30am for the next morning.  I set out my outfit so all I had to do was get up, brush my teeth, change clothes and go.  At some piont I woke up and saw a little bit of light starting to peek through our door.  I thought "well, the hubby took off all the blinds because we had new windows installed so that would make sense that I see a little light.....  But NOT at 4:30 in the morning!!!!!" 

Aaaaaahhh!  I sat staright up in bed.

My clock read 6:10am!   My alarm didn't go off and I missed my flight AGAIN!!! 

WTF!?!?!?!?

I was immediately on the phone to reschedule myself on the 7am flight.  I literally brushed my teeth, changed my undies, slapped on deodorant and jumped into my clothes and was out the door.  It was a close call but I made it on the plane.  (barely)

So, the moral of this story is - no matter how often you fly you can still screw it up!!

This week I'm going to try and relax while I'm taking care of dad.  And he's decided he wants to drive home with my later this week instead of driving up himself week after next....  So we'll be hittin' the road as soon as he's able.  And next week I'm back in the office as usual.  I'm sure I'll be bored...  ; )

A quick recap of 1100 miles

This was the the "college reunion" weekend.

Thursday afternoon the hubby and I set out to MD.  We visited Slice - my good friend from college rowing - that I hadn't actually seen in about 11 years.  Had a great time - good conversation and great burgers.  Wish I'd had longer to chat.

Friday we got up and headed to VA for Wandering Girl's wedding on Saturday.  I will post more on this later.  But in a nutshell, it was a beautiful outdoor wedding, even though they had to improvise due to torrential storms. 

We finished up the marathon car trip with the Sunday drive home.  I actually got to stop at an IKEA.  My first time IN a store.  It was great!!!.... until the few bigger things we wanted were ALL out of stock.  WTF?!?!?

We finally pulled in the drive around 8pm - after we made a detour to Pap John's.

I had a flight out today at 11:30AM.  Prior to that the window guys came to install our new windows.  Except:

• the slider was not yet in and they apparently "forgot" to tell us
• EVERY window had been mis-measured

Seriously.  One of the guys installing did the measuring.  He measured each one .5 to .75 inches too big.  So, to install they had to completely take out and revamp each window opening.  Needless to say they didn't get it all done today.  They'll be back on Thursday.  And...  all the new trim work we did over winter break?  We have to redo it all.  (at their expense, though)

Oh, and it's 9:05PM and I'm still sitting in my home airport.  The 11:30AM flight was cancelled.  I was re-booked for a 7PM flight.  The hubby brought me back to the airport.  But as I'm sitting here the 6:35PM flight that was leaving before mine was exceptionally late.  Then after they are boarded and out of the way I finally find out that my plane that will take me to my destination won't even land until 9:45PM.  So I've been sitting here in the airport this whole time.  See, I told you business travel is not sexy.

I'm soooo ready to be done with this summer travel....

You know it's bad when your hubby suggests a "real" vacation next summer and your first thought is "are you kidding??  I don't have it in me to plan that big of an event."  I told him if he wants a "real" vacation that's great - but he's planning every piece of it.  I'm just going to show up.

Biology - the major that keeps on giving

If you didn't know - I majored in biology in college.  (ok, really biological sciences, same shit different name..)  And then, much to the chagrin of my favorite botany professor, I went and got an MBA.  ('cuz I didn't see myself in a lab for the rest of my life...)

Based on my educational history I was under the erroneous assumption that I wouldn't use my biology degree much... or at all.  Apparently I was wrong.

You might think that I use it because I work for a medical device company and therefore it's useful to have a working knowledge of human biology.  That's true.  But I wouldn't say I use my degree.  It just makes understanding things I need to know a little less complicated.

But the hubby brought to my attention last night (via phone, of course.  again, we are in different cities...) that biology seems to have proven a great choice after all - even if I didn't plan it that way.  Because all the "weird shit" happens to me.

Case(s) in point:

• Tadpole rescues
• Frog relocation
• Bat catcher ( I have scrolled through my blog to link to this story and I suppose I never posted about it.  You know, 'cuz the true story makes my hubby look like a ninny...)

And now, I'm the bee keeper.

First - a side note on the bat:

A few summers ago, while my dad was visiting, we had a "visitor".  Dad was already in his room getting ready for bed.  I was already in bed when the hubby finally came upstairs after watching some late night tv.  He was standing at the sink brushing his teeth when he saw something swoop through the upstairs hall.  He thought he was just tired and his eyes were playing tricks until he saw it again going into his office!!  He ran to shut the door on his office to capture whatever it was and then ran and woke me up.  I have to say he was a smidge hysterical.  Apparently there was a bat in his office. 

I, on the other hand, was not too worked up about this.  First, you just woke me out of a dead sleep to tell me there's a bat in the house?  I don't care.  Get rid of it.  Secondly, it's just a bat.  It's not like you found a snake curled and ready to strike at you in the toilet!

By this time I think my dad was onto us.  He knew there was something up.  So now he's turned into a spectator of his still-relatively-new son-in-law's antics.  I found a shoe box in my closet and told him just to go in, catch it and take it outside.  No big deal.  So the hubby goes into his office, closes the door and we hear a few "whap, whap" where he's trying to smack the lid onto the box but apparently missing the bat.   Then he we hear a shriek and the hubby bounding out of his office.  This is NOT what you want to do when your FIL is in visiting....  I'm pretty sure my dad laughed at him.  I don't remember.  But I'm sure my hubby remembers exactly...

It became apparent that bats are to my hubby like snakes are to me.  The world would be a better place without them.  (or at least me ever coming in contact with one.)  So I ended up taking the shoebox, going in the office and retrieving the bat myself.  And then I let it go outside. 

Note:  I found out later that the DNR doesn't want you to let it go.  But I didn't know that.  Sorry.

Ok, back to my original story...

You know when you've had weeks when you're really busy and you're just looking forward to some downtime to relax, especially before the pace picks up again??  This was that week for me.  Except it's turned out not to be so relaxing.

The hubby is out of town so I'm by myself.  Yesterday I looked out on the backyard and saw a lump-o-something.  It was so big I was convinced a poo like that hadn't come out of one of my dogs so I went out to investigate.  I stood on the gazebo pad we have and saw an unidentified glob of something, about the size of a dinner plate,  in the grass... moving!  There was a lump in the middle and my first instinct was that we had some dead animal in the yard and it was covered in insects.  This is what I saw upon closer inspection:

BEES!


My first reaction?  "Fuck!  Shit like this only happens to me when the hubby's out of town.  Figures!!"
My second reaction?  "Now why in the world is there a gob-o-bees in my grass??  In the middle of the yard???"

I looked up and could see a broken hive way up in the tree above it.  The heavy winds we'd had the day before must have broken it off.  (although I still didn't realize bees would build a hive way up on a tree branch like that.  I'd have taken a picture but I don't have that good of a camera phone..)

So what do I do?  I called my dad.  Isn't that what they're for??  It seems my grandpa used to raise bees when dad was growing up so dad had a good bit of advise. 

• get yourself a coffee can
• get an old cotton rag
• make it smoke and smoke them off the heap
• then you can see what's under there and remove it

Ugh.  Really?  That's a lot of steps!  I haven't broken out the Girl Scout handbook in so long that this was actually making me nervous.  Ok, not nervous, but pissed.  Pissed that I had to even deal with this.  All I wanted was to make a great dinner and have a glass of wine.

So I went into the house and grabbed a coffee can - which miraculously I actually had - and old washcloth and the Bic Flame starter thingy.  (I'm sure that's what it's actually called.  It checked ; )   Note: a 100% cotton rag would probably have worked great.  It didn't occur to me until later that the cheapie wash cloth I grabbed was probably a cotton/ poly blend.  I had issues getting it to light...   But once I did light it I tried what dad suggested but it wasn't working.  I called him back.

"Poke some holes in the bottom of the can so the air can circulate better and increase the smoke."  Really??  This is waaay more effort that I want to put into this.  So after being whiny on the phone with dad I hung up and eventually went to the shed and put a few holes in the bottom of the can.  I grabbed the leather work gloves and the shovel - 'cuz I was a girl scout and I wanted to be prepared.

And this is what followed:

I let is stay there a while but those buggers wouldn't budge!  So I finally gave up and went inside and called the hubby back.  He looked online for some "bee hints" and got me the name of a honey place close to call the next day about possible removal.

Later that night I was thinking about what the hubby had found on the web - bees are least active at sun up and sun down.  The sun was going down so I thought I'd give it another look.  I went outside - which was starting to get chilly - and saw that the bees were there but hardly moving at all.  I'm guessing it was a combo of the timing and the temperature.

So I hustled out to the shed, got the flat-end shovel and went out and carefully scooped up as much of the glob as I could.  Slowly I walked to the back fence and dumped them over the side.  And I may or may not have run like a wild woman back into the yard after the dump....  just sayin'

When I was certain that I wasn't going to get swarmed by pissy dumped bees I carefully went back and tried to scoop up a bit more.  They got dumped over the fence too.  However when I went back to get the rest they were pretty active and I decided not to press my luck.  Ok, I didn't "decide" to stop shoveling.  I stopped because I was "chased" through the yard by an angry warrior bee determined to protect his hive.  After being dive bombed a few times I decided to give up.

I put the shovel back and called dad and the hubby for a bee status update.

The remaining bees were there this morning but all seem to be gone by the time I went home at lunch.  There are some unfortunate souls that didn't make it and so are making a small "pile of the dead".  But I'm not feeling too guilty about it.  I did save a bajillion other ones.

And through all that I didn't get stung once!

Just call me the "bee whisperer".

Why business travel is great... and not so great...

If you travel for you job you understand that getting on a plane and flying all over the US/ world is not really as glamorous as the movies make it seem.  But there definitely are perks - which widely differ depending the company you work for and where they send you. 

Although my company is sending me all over the US in May/ June and it's making my home life crazy it can actually be a mini-vacation.  All I have to do is show up and do my schtick.  If I'm in a nice place I can treat it like I'm really not working (except for the times I'm stuck in a conference room or a convention center...  where I have to be present.)  No getting up with the dogs.  No worrying about what to do for dinner.  No trying to read my book in peace while trying to block out the noise of the tv/ the hubby's music upstairs.  No more vying for my hubby's attention with the tv.  No guilty feeling for not cleaning the kitchen.  You get the idea...   It's just "me time". 

This week I'm in Palm Desert, CA.  And this is me on my deck after our meetings. 
(and those are my fuchsia toes...  let's hope no one from Singapore is going to be stalking my blog after this...)

However, this paradise isn't perfect.  Because I'm at a meeting we still all have dinners we have to go to together.  Last night we didn't have dinner until 8pm ('cuz the guys were golfing... : P  )  That's 11pm for me folks.  Y'all know I can't stay up that late.  I was exhausted.  I gave it the old college try but I literally almost face planted in my nationally recognized prime aged steak......  but then I got back to my hotel and didn't sleep at all.. again....  I'm exhausted right now.  And I don't function well on such little sleep.....