Attention span of a gnat

It's no surprise to my friends, family, or me, for that matter, that I have the attention span of a gnat.  But don't get that confused with ADD!  I'm talking about keeping up with an interest.  I rotate through hobbies like underwear.  I just have a hard time staying interested.  Most of the time I generally pick something up, put it down and circle back to it months or years later.  Rarely do I give it up altogether.

Cases in point:

• Piano.  I played for years as a kid and stopped all musical involvement around the age of 18.  I bought a piano and started playing again at 34.  LOVING it!  But it can get frustrating sometimes - knowing what you're supposed to do but still trying to regain lost skills.
• Knitting.  I learned to knit when I was 25.  About every other winter or so I work on a project.  Very sporadic but I keep up my skills - I just don't improve upon them much year after year.
• Running.  Well, I've been running since I've been walking, if you want to get technical about it.  But my interest in "training" for anything from a 5K to a half marathon waxes and wanes.  I can't seem to stay in the consistent "rhythm" of it.
• Cycling.  The hubby and I got into this on a whim about 5 years ago.  He's great at it.  Me... eh.  I continued to train for and ride the century rides with him every other year for something for us to do together.  Don't love it, don't hate it.  But I'm not that strong at it.  If the hubby is in the mood the ride one summer I ride.  If he's not feelin' it I'm certainly not out there by myself....
• Triathlons.  Well, this went nowhere fast.  This past fall I started in the pool at the Y, getting the basics of swimming down with the intent of doing my first Tri this summer.  Let's just say I petered out and do not have a tri on the books for this summer.....  so, ok.  Mark one hobby "incomplete".
• Yoga.  I built a Murphy bed on the premise that I needed more room in the guest room so I could do yoga.  First of all that was kinda crap.  I just wanted an excuse to build a Murphy bed.  Plus, once installed, the Murphy bed really didn't give me as much extra floor space as I had hoped for.  It's not the bed's fault.  The room is just that small....

Well, I've added a new hobby to this ever-growing list. 

Classical guitar. 

My piano teacher gives lessons in piano, voice and classical guitar.  She encouraged me to give it a try.  Ensured me it would be relatively easy since I already know how to play piano.  So last weekend I went and bought the guitar, bag and book and have already started teaching myself.  I have my first guitar lesson tomorrow.  Which is good because I clearly need some technique pointers!!!

But not to worry - KVeg commented that if I kept this up I was going to become a one-man band.  No worries.  I can't sing....

And at least if this gets set aside at some point the guitar was a LOT less expensive than the piano!!  (btw - still playing the piano.  just adding guitar to break up the musical monotony a bit...)

Fabulous Day

I know, right?  You haven't heard that sentiment out of me since, well... I don't know.  I can't remember either.

The hubby is out of town, coaching at "State" (NY state regatta).  So I'm home alone.  Showers forecasted for the weekend.

Great.  My favorite.  I figured I'd be in a seriously bummed mood since the funk I've been in for the past, oh, EIGHT months has been seriously affected by the weather.  But strangely enough the weather has contributed to my good mood!!

First of all, last night I ran to Wegman's and bought me a microwave steamable dinner and an orange, pomegranate martini mix. (don't you judge me!!)  and proceeded to have a just fine TV night all by myself.  Then this morning I was up and at 'em and at Target purchasing necessities by 9am.  The day was overcast and threatening to rain at any moment.  But it's in the 60's!!!  So I grabbed a bunch of gardening stuff and headed to the front yard and started weeding, pruning.... you name it.  If it started to sprinkle I just headed inside.  Big deal.  I don't melt!  My goal was to get the front yard ready for mulch by the end of the weekend.  I had half of my goal done by noon today!! 

Whoo hoo!!!

I finished the rest after lunch.  I practiced a little piano while a little rain moved through and headed out to finish.  As usual, I can only imagine what my neighbors think of me. It did not escape my notice that I was the only person on the street out working in their yard today.  And if anyone caught me working in said yard they certainly got an eyeful.  No - no flashing this time around.  I was in capris and a long sleeve T, not a faulty bikini top.  Have you ever seen those wood cut outs that are supposed to look like the fat hind-end of a granny in a moo moo bent over tending her garden?  Yeah, that was me. 

But I was also pruning a sand cherry (ornamental tree) right out front and would pull a branch down to trim it and on more than one occasion would accidentally let it go and it would slap me in the face or head, sending water and little white flower blossoms spraying everywhere.  Really what are you going to do?  Laugh.  That's what I did.  'Cuz I'm sure it was good entertainment for anyone watching.  Especially since I did it more than once.... (followed by me having a complete conversation with myself to remind self to not do that again... even though I did.)

Once all that yard work was done I figured I deserved a Corona while I waxed and did the hair color.  But I have a bit-o-waxin' wisdom to share.

All these years I've told you that I do my own waxing. I do.  I didn't lie.  I prefer the microwave wax that requires no strips.  You apply it, it hardens on it's own but stays flexible enough that you peel rip it off without the need to apply a fabric strip.  I've been using this method for years.  Today, at Target I bought a brand I've never tried before (because I usually buy my brand at Wally World, but they're going through a remodel and I didn't want to deal with that additional craziness....)  When I got home I realized the new brand is the type that comes with fabric strips. 

CRAP!!  I don't want this kind!!  But I'd figure since I had might as well give it a try. 

I LOVE IT!!  It works soooo much better than the other kind!!!!  It gets everything on the first pass!!  Who knew??

WARNING - you must be an experienced waxer.  The wax is thin and will get everywhere!  I have been doing this for years and managed to still get wax all over my hands.  and myself...  Oh well.  I'll take it for the better results. 

BTW - in case you were wondering, I waxed first then applied my hair color and then kicked back with a Corona.... didn't want anyone thinking the Corona impaired my waxing acumen.  But note to self - never try to wax and color at the same time.  That could produce disastrous results....

Now to paint toe nails.  Probably with another Corona.  Or since I've deemed it a girlie "ZooKeeper" weekend, perhaps an orange pomegranate martini.  Was going to go with a dark red but on second thought, with alcohol involved perhaps I'll choose a lighter color.  Easier to hide when you color outside the lines...  Just sayin'

Now what to do tomorrow with definite rain and thunderstorms?? 
MOVIE DAY!!!!  yeah!!! 
Any suggestions??

So gladd (and I love Lady Gaga)

We live right by a high school.  A large one (to me) with well over 500 or 600 students per grade.  When the hubby is out of town I have to go home and let the dogs out and apparently I go home late enough that the school is out for the day because I see many students out walking around the school.  Me not being a parent myself, I can't confirm exactly what all the kids are doing, but I'm assuming it's not a massive walkout happening on a regular basis.  (I hope....)  I know the school day starts really early there (around 7am!!) so I'm assuming school is done for the day.

Today as I was driving through the school zone I saw three high school-aged guys walking together, two of them openly holding hands.  And it gave me pause.  In a good way.  And I'll tell you why.

We all remember what it was like in high school.  The pressure to fit it.  Some people rebelled  on purpose.  Defied "the man".  I understand why.  But I think they missed the point.  They weren't being themselves.  They were trying to make a point.  Then there were others that did their best to just blend in with the crowd.  Tried to fit in as much as possible.  They might have tried to call attention to themselves to try to be popular or something like that.  But in all other respects it was "try to be as normal as possible".  And then there was always that small group that just did their own thing for the sake of being true to themselves.  I don't know why.  Maybe they were oblivious to everyone else and the pressures of fitting in.  Maybe they didn't care about fitting in.  Maybe they were 200% more mature than the rest of us and the joke was on us.  For whatever the reason they figured out how to be true to themselves waaay before anyone else did (or has)...  I respect that.

I was one that tried to fit in.  I always did was I was told.  To a fault.  So much so I know it has severely affected my adulthood.  I'm not blaming anyone - just stating a fact.  It's taken me so long to realize that I've been doing other people's bidding for so long that I never figured out who I "AM" until so late in life that my adult self has suffered.  Don't worry - I'm not setting myself up for doom and gloom - I'm just saying that it's really hard to stop the momentum of the moving ship this late in life and change course.  Possible!!  Just much, much harder.

So back to these boys holding hands.  High school is soooo hard.  I often reflect on how much harder it probably is today for teenagers who are struggling with their sexuality and trying to decide whether to publicize it or not.  Kids are cruel.  Face it - people are cruel.  Adolescence is a hard time to figure out who you are in general.  Then to figure out you are someone that some of society has defined as deviant??  Just for being you???  How bizarre and unfair is that???   And then top that off with the pressure to "fit in" with everyone else??  Wow!

My heart aches for anyone who is demonized, ostracized or otherwise treated as an outcast for just being who they are.  This is why I love Lady Gaga.  She uses her stardom to be outrageous, call attention to herself and otherwise get people to notice her. Once she has your attention she has a message.  Don't hate people for just being how they were born.

I'm glad to see progress being made.  I'd love to think those to guys walking down the street are as openly accepted at school as any "Jennifer and Tom".  But I doubt it.  But I at least hope they have enough support through their friends - and more importantly, other adults in their lives - that keep helping them just be themselves and not hide behind the mask of what others "expect them to be".

I'm glad those guys are strong enough and comfortable enough to come out in high school and be themselves.  I was respect that decision.  This post isn't just about respecting a high schooler's decision to be true to themselves about their sexuality.  This post is about anyone being true to their real selves.   Be it a man who can truly open up to their real feelings and not feel they always have to be strong.  It's a woman who can be true to herself and admit that she isn't superwoman and find ways to better juggle her responsibilities.  This list goes on and on. 

Don't mistake it - this post is about being true to yourself.  But in order to do so you have to be introspective to know what's in your heart.  This is the hardest part.  Carrying it out is actually easier.  The question is - do you have the discipline and the courage to be introspective and face what you find there?

When 35 is old

I thought playing on this co-ed softball team might make feel feel young again.  Remind me of the days when I was 12 playing for the Chemlawn Cuties.  Running the bases, swingin' the bat...

Nope. 

It's making me feel old as dirt.

Last night was our second game.  We still lost, but not as bad as last week.  A mere 6 - 4.  All of our runs were scored in the last inning.  Apparently it takes us 6 innings to get warmed up.

When I arrived I grabbed a ball and started tossing it with another gal in what the other players lovingly call "warming up".  Whatever.  This is not warming up.  This is just "throwing".  I couldn't figure out the semantic difference until I looked more closely at the players on my team and realized I'm probably one of two of the oldest players on the team.  I'm guessing by a LOT.  So yeah, to them tossing a ball around is "warming up".  When you're twenty-two...

However, when you're 35 "warming up" for anything physical should always include:

• stretching all appropriate muscle groups for the activity
• stretching groups you don't think you're going to use, because face it - you're not 20 anymore so you're likely to use non-appropriate muscle groups even if you don't mean to
• increasing your heart rate in some form - jogging a bit, perhaps
• ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT if said activity will require you to raise your heart rate during said activity...
• popping preemptive ibruprofen

After you have done all of the above you can continue on with any additional "warm ups" suggested by teammates.

NOTE - following outlined "35 YO Warm Up Plan" does not exclude you from injury. 

Case in point:  I hurt myself during our game last night.  During said "ball tossing" with fellow "Ball Breaker" (read that how you will) I twinged my right upper quad.  Face it - I'm just not used to standing still and quickly lunging out to field a grounder or sprinting out to first base.  I thought to myself "Self, be careful!  You're not 20 anymore!!  Don't let that twinge turn into a tear!"

Guess what?  I tore that bitch.

Actually I kept on tearing it and tearing it.  'Cuz I'm a glutton for punishment like that.  And I tweaked my left quad too.  But I kept reminding myself there is NO crying in baseball!!  (or softball, or in front of cute boys) 

But I did consult dad on the way home for proper post injury treatment.  When I got home I iced those thighs like Thanksgiving leftovers and popped Advil.  And today?  More icing and more Advil.  I feel like a new girl!!

Take aways:

1. Don't try to act younger than you are because you just end up looking stupid
2. If you decide to disreagrd rule #1 at least go through the proper warm up techniques at least twice (preferably in private so the younguns don't see you and how old you really are....
3. Don't ever discount the healing properties of ice (or dad's advice....)

Chemlawn Cutie

Back in the day I was a "Chemlawn Cutie".  Although today I believe Chemlawn is trying to shake that name and is going with "TruGreen"....

But I felt compelled to follow up my previous softball report.  If you played ball with me back in the 80's, particularly that fateful T-ball year, I'm happy to report I did not do cartwheels out in left field this past Monday.

However I feel the need to defend my cartwheels during T-ball.  I know the ball is stationary, on a tee.  But do you know how boring the game is???  Do you know how many people cannot hit the dang thing??? (it's a wonder any of the participants ever gradutate to hitting a moving ball...) There is hardly any action!!  Especially in the outfield!  C'mon!  Six year old girls rarely hit a softball off a tee let alone into the outfield.  Therefore I had every right to practice my cartwheels.  I had gymnastics the next day!!

Who agreed to this???

KVeg asked me to play on her Bfriend's coed softball team.  Sure I would!!  Then I found out she wasn't playing.  Something about her lack of hand/ eye coordination...  Well this ought to be a blast...

I don't own a glove.  I haven't really played softball since I was 12!!!  C'mon people.  Give me a break!  I haven't been able to make practice.  I'd have to say, all around this was turning out to be a bad idea.  To make matters worse our game was last night..  Let me tell you - I was doing a rain dance in the office like I was a pure blooded Hopi.  Yeah, well, it worked all right.  It was raining.  But apparently they only cancel for lightening, thunder or pouring rain.  I could only muster a drizzle.

I got to the field to warm up.  I was playing left field.  The outfield was a sloppy, wet, spongy mess.  And over the course of the game - which we lost 8 to 1 - I jotted some mental notes for myself for next time.

• Don't wear a thong while playing softball when you're 35.  Especially when you're playing left field and will probably be running lots.
• Don't talk or mumble to yourself in the outfield.  Even though you're used to talking to yourself on a regular basis these people on your team are "new to you" and don't know your habits and probably find this habit odd, if not disturbing.
• Take the constructive criticism from KVeg's BF and a few of the others on the team with graciousness because they are awesome, very polite and mean well.  But that "one guy", not sure about him.  He's coming across as a jerk.  But still smile and nod to him because you haven't figured out where he fits in the scheme of things yet. 
• Be more aware of what you're doing.  You caught that fly ball.  Yeah for you!! But you also apparently celebrated that you caught it before you threw it back in the field and you didn't even realize it!!  Pay attention!!  (although I think you had every right to immediately celebrate because that's the first fly ball you've caught "in action" since you were 12... that was over HALF a lifetime ago....  and did you see that haus that hit it right at me!!)
• Even though you are totally impressed with Jason's skillz you probably ought stop complimenting him on them lest someone think you have a crush on him.  Really I don't.  I truly am impressed with, not his skillz, per se, but his style.  Guy makes it look good!  I give credit where credit is due.  That's all.
• Don't wear the team t-shirt out in public.  Team name is Ball Breakers. Logo is phallic.  On purpose. 

I told KVBF that my feelings wouldn't be hurt if he decided to move me positions.  Do you know how hard it is to run around after balls in a sloppy, soggy wet outfield??  Impossible!  The balls would hit the grass and not bounce, roll, nuthin!  They literally would leave divots in the grass.  I'm not even kidding.  Not much fun sloshing away to a dead-on-the-ground ball....

We'll see how this turns out.  I did have fun so long as no one is competitive enough that they were disappointed in my performance.  I'm positive I'd have more fun if we didn't have to play on a soggy field in the rain.  So for the next few months think of me trying not to get my teeth knocked out from a fly ball on Monday nights after work!!

BWTB

I have been given a new "certification", if you will:  Boobs With Tool Belt

I was telling an old friend (boss, actually) about all the work we've done to the house and about MH dropping my name in her blog and wha-la.  BWTB.

I think I'll have business cards made:

Zookeeper, BWTB
Contractor

Deep Breath

But not too deep 'cuz I didn't schedule Stanley Steemer until May 7th.  Well, go ahead.  I do have a Yankee candle goin'...

• Left beautiful, sunny tolerable weather in Miami for cold, rain and wind to come home - Check
• Most emotionally stressful work week (in at least 5 years) over - Check
• Comfortably (ok , not really "comfortable") snuggled in with the "kids" since being home - Check

As soon as I got home and sat on the couch I had at least one dog and two cats on the sofa with me.  The cats, specifically ON me.  When the hubby got home and saw it he mentioned that they did not do that at all while I was gone.  Not sure if he said it because he was trying to make me feel better (because I was still in a funk over the week) or if he was a little jealous....

Same story at bedtime.  Everyone wanted on the bed.  And on my side.  Reis (orange kitty) jumped on the bed and I made the mistake of moving the book I was reading to see who jumped up.  Reis took that as his cue and immediately stepped up and curled up on my chest - right where I'd hold my book.  Hmmmm.  How to read??  I finally had to move him.  The hubby tried to get the cat to come over and lay on him (to give me a break.  Having all these animals is sort of like having a few small kids sometimes.  Especially if you've been gone a while.  They all want your attention and all at the same time.  It can get old, quick.)  But Reis wasn't interested.  But he'd moved enough to where I could get my book back up in front of my face before he found a new place to settle.

And as I'm writing this I've had Karl and Jax curl up and snuggle on either side of me.  (and the hubby just came downstairs, saw this arrangements and started singing a made up song "crazy cat lady".  I always tell him he'd better not die young and leave me alone with all these cats.  Because I will be a crazy cat lady!!)

I have today off so I'm taking several more deep breaths and trying to finish decompressing from my trip.

How NOT to eat Starbucks yogurt

I'm in the Miami airport. It's early and I decided to stop and get a coffee and a yogurt from Starbucks. I sat at my gate and ate it before boarding.

Have you had a yogurt from Stbx? It has an inset cup that holds the granola. Good idea - it keeps it from getting soggy until you eat it. Who knows how long it sits in the counter before you buy it.

I took the cup out and sat it on my thigh and sprinkled a bit og granola on the yogurt as I was eating it. By the time i was done there was lots left. I was cleaning up to throw it all away in the trash and combining everything for an easier trip to the bin. My spoon was in the empty yogurt cup so I squeezed the granola cup and stuck it in sideways in the yogurt cup, around the spoon. As I was getting ready to stand the small granola cup rocketed out of the larger yogurt cup and spewed granola EVERYWHERE into my lap and floor! Includiing a bit of yogurt that got on the back of the granola cup from the inside of the yogurt cup.

After I initially gasped like an old lady I just started giggling. I mean really - what an idiodic thing to do! Obviously I didn't think that through and paid the consequences. The guy beside looked over sheepishly. I looked right at him and said "it's ok. You can laugh. I deserve it."

I've had a very stressful week and, funny enough, I think this is exactly what I needed to snap me out of my funk.

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why?

I just saw a women in the restroom primping and applying/ reapplying ALL of her eye make-up It made me wonder: Why are women expected to do soo much to themselves to, presumably, look good for men when they aren't expected to reciprocate???

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what i love aboutFB

There are many drawbacks to facebook. (Especially at "our age"). But one great feature is reconnecting with those really positive friends. Not the "hip, hip hooray! Eveything is fabulous!!" one's. I'm talking about the one's that know life can be rough. And they are ther to pick you up. And your job is to do the same for them. Even if you haven't seem them in decades.

Love you Frogger!

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presumputious

I don't even know if i spelled that right. But whatever. It gets the point across.

I came across a FB post from someone I went to HS with that insinutaed, what i could only assume, was that her childhood home was being sold and she was coming home for the wkend to say goodbye.

Not being a sentimental person myself, my first reaction was " big deal. You're an adult. Move on." But then the part of me that I've "worked on" reminded me that many people don't move during their lifetime (at least not towns) and that the sellign of a chilhood home could be construed as painful.

I was 14 when I had that "painful" move. Since then I've never felt "settled". (Much to the chagrin of my parents and husband.) But that's probably a totally different psychosis to be investigated at a different time.

Back to FB. So this person said she'd be in town and posted her number and a message for people to get in touch with her during such and such date.

Really. What are you? F-ing royalty?? Peons should get in touch with you since you announced when YOU will be available??

I can't put my finger on why this rubbed me the wrong way. But it did. I;m not in the town so it matters nothing to me but I thought it quite presumptious? Snotty? Hoity toity? Asinine??? Take your pick.

I like FB because it has allowed me to recoonect with a few faces from the past. Othr than that it's evil. Because people dont have manners, plain and simple.

That's all I'll say about that,

(Please excuse the spelling and grammatical errors. My droid has no grammer or spell check....)

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My mantra for this week:

"Don't forget to wear your big girl panties!!"

Thank god it's a short work week. If I call or text any of you in tears or frustration please remind me of this. (Big girl panties or short week. Whichever seems more appropriate is fine with me.)

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Where would I be without Stanley Steemer??

Have I mentioned we have a zoo at our house??  Needless to say we should have bought stock in Stanley Steemer a loooong time ago.  I'm sure I've blogged about this before (or at least some of this) so hang in there with me...

It's that time of year again where our back yard is a green swampy mess.  Good because the snow is gone and the grass is now green!!!  Bad because the ground is saturated and easily turns to mud.  Like when Liam jumps off the end of his ramp.  He now jumps into a mud puddle he's inadvertently made.  Nice...  We have a steam cleaner for spots and "in between" cleanings.  But it just doesn't get the job done like Stanley.

Even though we try to wipe off their paws and try different products (like the balloon-type paw covers) our carpets look AWFUL!!!  It's an annual ritual that we have Stanley Steemer come and do the downstairs carpets.  Usually I wait until the end of May but I have to host Bunco the second Tuesday in May so we're bumping up the cleaning schedule.

But one twist we've thrown into this whole carpet issue is aging dogs.  Read: incontinent dogs.  Yep.  I am admitting to this on my blog.  And I understand you may never want to come to our house after you read this.  Although I define "good friends" as those that overlook your mess anyway.

Nikki had "picked out" a spot in the living room to sneak and pee when she wanted to be passive aggressive.  This spot turned into the place she went when it was raining outside and she refused to pee outside.  (cranky old lady...)  Finally we smartened up and started buying "pee pee pads" and laid them over her "area".  Takes 2 pads to cover. 

Although I admit not smart on our part - but we NEVER trained the dogs to use the pads.  However, they both figured it out!!  (fakers.  they keep acting dumb to get out of trouble but they're a lot smarter than they let on....)  It started with Nikki peeing on them.  Well, kinda.  She'd squat on the edge.  Not all would get on the pad but the majority would and that made cleaning the rest with our steam cleaner a lot easier.  She's since gotten better with her aim although she rarely needs to use the pads.  But they are a good back up plan!

A year ago we had to put Liam on a reduced calorie food.  Apparently it works but packing the kibble with TONS of fiber.  Poor guy now poops 4 - 5 times a day.  Seriously.  There have been times where he hasn't "told" us he has to go and instead has just walked to the pee pee pads and pooed right on them instead!  I find it quite amazing since we never trained him to use them!!!  There have even been 2 or 3 incidents where we've found where he's stood over the 2 pads and perfectly peed on them too!! (They are super absorbent pads designed for adult dogs....)

Ok, so enough about the bowel movements of my canines.  Because now I fear I'll never see any of you ever again in person....

Y members are elitists too?

I went to swim at the Y this morning for the first time in a looong time. Let's say months. (I won't admit how many.) As I was swimming a woman asked to share my lane since it was busy. Sure. I have no problem with that. She asked what I was doing (in a nice, interested way) which is understandable. I was doing drills - the current one had me swimming back and forth on my side - so I didn't actually look like I was swimming laps. Seemed she was wanting to learn a new drill - that or make sure she wasn't jumping into a lane with a pure nut.

We started chatting about tri's because she was training for her first one too - but apparently had extensive running, swimming abd cycling experience. She asked me about my training and, since she seemed very nice and not a snotty athlete I said "I'll admit this winter's been tough for me and I've sat my ass on the sofa most of it... I'm just getting back into the swing of things!" Her response was a weird "Oh..."

I apparently assumed - incorrectly - that anyone else living in this godforsaken town (ok, to be fair the town is not godforsaken, just the winter weather...) would at least empathize if someone was severely affected by a tough winter- even if they personally were able to push through it. She reacted like I had openly admitted to being a hooker, having contracted the clap in November and therfore was unable to work during the busy holiday season.

Really? I didn't dump a 30 minute personal 6 month history on her. It was a one sentence statement. I was just merely honest that I haven't been working out because the winter had me down and I'm back in the game. C'mon - $100 80% of people in this town suffer from the same thing and I bet only 5 - 10% do any exercise about it.

Soooo - one reason I joined the Y was to get away from atheletic elitists. And yet this woman inadvertantly (hopefully) made me feel like a HUGE loser in 2 minutes flat. Thanks Robin!! (Yes. That's her name. Not even going to bother to give her a nickname.)

Note: yes, I'm totally aware that it is my own personal insecurities that really is at issue here. But it's just easier to blame Robin. So I am. : P

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