My Confession

I have a confession.  I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. And if you haven't noticed I'm kinda growing up....

I'll admit that I'm jealous of people who have always known what they wanted to do with their life, who had a "calling".  Or people who, on purpose or accident, took a hobby and made a living out of it (even if it was just part time).

 I've never really known what I wanted to do with my life.  Actually that's not true. I always wanted to be an archaeologist and then an Egyptian physical anthropologist. But I quickly realized that definitely was a hobby-type interest, not a possible career-type passion. 

But of course how can one "do" their passion if they don't have a passion?!  So I've been spending time trying to find mine.  Because here's the rub -  I don't have one. Or at least not consciously.   I understand this is not an overnight process. But I'm very impatient. And I'm getting very sick of 160+ inches of winter snow (but thankfully Mother Nature must understand that I need a break while trying to discover myself and gave me a reprieve this winter. Thank you very much Mummy Nat.)

In addition to slooowly working my way through "What Color is Your Parachute" I'm also :

• continuing my piano lessons
• currently in the middle of an 8-week creative writing class (I'm not a writer so I thought this would be a brain boost for me)
• taking ballroom dance lessons with the hubby

I'm not expecting any of the aforementioned activities to lead to a life-altering career. But they are things that I've never really done before. Except the piano lessons. Which I hated as a kid. And even when I switched to percussion I was the least talented musician of my band group of friends.

I guess I'd sum it up by saying that I'm doing some soul-searching. But that sounds cliche. I'm not trying to find my soul. I'm trying to find something that will lead me to a career that is fulfilling.  One where I can actively contribute and use skills I've acquired over the years - and learn news ones!  (ok, that last bit might have been laced with a wee bit of sarcasm...) 

I will continue to explore and hopefully find a door I want to open or that will open for me.  I guess you never know where you might find the answer.

Thank God It's Snowing!

Never thought you'd see me type that, eh?  It's because when it snows here it SNOWS! which means I usually can't do much of anything else.  So I have time to do other things. In this case - learn how to use my new phone.

My Droid crapped out on me.  Finally.  For about a year (I'd only had it barely 2) it had been giving me a host of problems.  To make matters worse the hubby has the exact same phone and experienced almost none of my issues.  He either blamed all the issues on me being impatient or user error.  A few months ago I think he finally broke down and admitted that, in fact, the phone was possessed. 

Then Thursday night it went complete batshit crazy and the bottom third of the touch screen stopped responding.  The biggest problem with that glitch - that's the part you have to touch to execute calls.  Kinda defeats the function of a PHONE, doesn't it? 

I opted to get a whole new phone instead of taking advantage of my warranty since we'd been talking about getting a new one anyway.  I should note here that my company pays for my phone bill (but not the cost of the phone itself) otherwise 1. I wouldn't be paying for a warranty in the first place or 2. if I were I would definitely be taking advantage of it.  Of course the trade off of the company paying for my personal phone bill - I have to use it for work.  Just keep that in mind....

I am now the proud owner of a Droid Razr.  (kids and their spelling these daz!!  sheesh!)  I have to say with regards to size it is quite thin!  The majority of the body is about as wide as a pencil!!  The phone itself it about as large as my hand/ palm.  Which = large screen.  Which is a plus and minus.  See the screen better.  But the phone is bigger.  It doesn't fit in my wallet/ wristlet I had for my original Droid.  I now know why people are ALWAYS playing on their phones.  They're so big they have to hold them in their hands. And if it's already in your hand might as well use it, right??

There are many new features with this phone that I have to learn.  For example, just this morning I went to take a picture of the snow outside to send to my dad.  I had just woken up, had my first cup of coffee in my hand.  Beautiful, fluffy snow was falling and we had a foot already accumulated on top of the everything outside.  It was pristine. I wanted to take the picture before the neighborhood kids came out to play and people started to walk their dogs...  capture the early morning stillness. As I was holding up the phone to snap a shot I noticed an icon on the screen that was new to me.  I hit it and all of a sudden...  ACK!!!!  It was ME.  Morning face, waaay up close, dark circles under my eyes, big zit on my chin, terribly uneven skin tone (wow! I knew it was bad, but not that bad! ugh!) I damn near dropped my coffee!

Apparently this icon swings the camera to you.  (little camera eye on this side of the phone) Without you having to awkwardly hold the camera backwards to take a picture of yourself.  Rather, you can see yourself on the phone screen AND take the picture of yourself at the same time.  Fantastic for all of those people who take picture of themselves and with friends.  NOT fantastic when you accidentally figure out this feature when you first wake up in the morning and look like ass.

Hopefully I can figure out the rest without any more unwanted "surprises".

Oh, and if you have this phone...  HELP!!!

A New Year's Vacation

We took a vacation. Together. Me and the hubby.

And we're still married.

I call that a success.

We shared a 3 bedroom, three bathroom penthouse with two other couples on the Gulf coast in Florida. Beautiful views, great company.  Lovely weekend.  Neat way to spend New Years.

The details, however, are the stuff of legend.

• We obligingly took the room with the (wrongly booked) bunkbeds.  With several engineers in attendance (and luckily the other 2 couples being local) we McGuyver'ed ourselves a flat bed with a queen air mattress on top.  It worked.  Don't worry - we made the hotel give us a discount.
• We ate enough food to last a million years.  However the other 2 couples took home enough leftovers to last them another million years.
• I am officially a candied pecan.  I know because I ate my weight in them.
• I now want to unlearn things such as the definitions of: Santorum (not Rick), Dirty Sanchez, Gorilla Mask, and a million other terrible things that only boys would be dumb enough to know (and think it's funny)
• NOTE - if you're so inclined to learn about such things DO NOT google on a work computer.  Just sayin'
• If you're worried whether someone just had sex in your bathroom send me in.  I'm a good inspector/ evidence eraser. (for those of you with more delicate sensibilities.)

I promised I would not make a t-shirt about this weekend.  Which is fine by me because I wouldn't wear a t-shirt that said "Dirty Sanchez" even to the gym....

horror of horrors!

I'm turning into my mother!!

I was afraid this day would come.

I'm in the Atlanta airport. And I was going down the escalator when I saw this awesome backpack this woman was carrying. All those pockets! All that organization!! Did it have a laptop sleeve???

So I leaned over "excuse me. Excuse me. Do you mind me asking if your pack has a laptop sleeve? I was admiring all the pockets. It looks great and mine just doesn't seem to accommodate everything!"

And then we had a whole conversation about how laptop packs are SO much better than bags, better for your back, can carry so much more, etc... all the way to the bottom of the escalator. I usually don't talk much to strangers. (I know. Hard to believe - but true!)

I think I'll have to check into one of those bags!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

FB warm and fuzzies

When I posted on FB we had lost Nikki I was surprised by some who offered their condolences. I didn't realize they 1) read my status updates 2) cared enough to comment on my posts 3) make a reference that they had been keeping up with me via my posts. And I don't mean in a creepy way.

Case in point - I'm friends on FB with a girl I rowed with in college. We rowed together for 3or 4 years. Long time, right? But we never hung out in the same crowd so I'm sorry to say that I really never got to know her well. I knew she was a nice person and I thought her major rocked! (Well, the one she had for the first few years of school- construction management. I thought it was cool a girl choose that.) She commented on my post about Nikki something like "I'm so sorry to hear that you lost her. Especially after just having lost your other dog so recently."

I was shocked! That was so sweet. And thoughtful. And amazing that she remembered. If any of you guys reading this blog said the same thing it was would also be sweet and thoughtful but we "talk" on a regular basis and you all probably know this info like the back of your hand. She only knows it through reading and keeping up with my status up dates on FB.

This made me think. I'm a stalker kind of FB friend. I read posts but only comment on select people. Not all are close friends. Some are people I haven't seen in ages. But they're ones I don't think would be weirded out with me commenting. You know - they post something benign about a football game or food and I make a comment back. Very un-stalker like behavior. If I don't really know you (or haven't seen you in ages) I probably will not be commenting on photos of your kids. Or your husband/ boyfriend.

(Unless you're gay. And then I'm allowed to stare and drool. I jokingly do this with a guy from high school. He has the most rockin' body now that I've ever seen and his boyfriend - and other friends- are the hottests things to hit Ft. Lauderdale since hurricane..... I don't know. I'm so flustered just thinking about it I can't remeber their last big one.)

But I wish I had known some people were watching me more closely (again, not in a stalker kind of way) because I would have loved to have commented on Rower's FB when she had her first child and when she posts the most adorable pictures of her in teenie Clemson onesies.

Perhaps I'll start commenting on the Clemson onesies.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Many a conversation

Last night I realized how many conversations I have with the hubby that start with "you'll never believe what your wife did this time..."  If only I had a nickle for every cringe...

Even though KVeg has literally been working 70 hour weeks for the past, oh several months, she graciously went and had dinner (and dessert!!) with me so I didn't have to go home to an empty house last night.  The hubby is at the largest rowing regatta in the US this weekend and I have no dog to hurry home to.  And as it turned out, the cats could give two rats' asses that I even exist at this moment.

We went to this great Thai restaurant.  You know, the kind that looks like a hole in the wall but it's where all the natives go.  It's on the main drag in town.  Or I suppose you could say "city" because it's not in the suburbs.  It's the "City".  Lots of businesses, restaurants, etc.  But certain parts of it may or may not get a little dicey after dark.  Just stick to the lighted areas and you should be ok.

We were leaving the restaurant around 7:30 - definitely dark outside - to drive to a place to get dessert.  As we were walking out to the parking lot I was telling KVeg that I had lost quite a bit of weight running and unfortunately was going to need some new pants. (unfortunately cuz y'all know how I hate to shop!)  To demonstrate said weight loss I unbuckled my belt, stuck my thumb in my pants and pulled them out to show the gap - just as a car was pulling in the parking lot - shining their headlights right on me! 

What did I do? 

I panicked. 

I suddenly felt guilty (I don't know why) and scrambled to rebuckle my belt.  As I was doing this it occurred to me that I looked like someone doing something very lewd in a dark parking lot in a not-so-nice part of town. 

What was KVeg doing this whole time?  Laughing at me. 

Later that night when the hubby called I started out the conversation with "You're not going to believe what your wife did this time...."

*tear*

It's not a good time to be a furry friend in our house.

About a month ago Nicole Joan (aka Nikki; aka, Radar; aka Sweet Pea; aka Granny Panties; aka... you get the idea..) had a slew of issues in one week that we later found out amounted to a mini-stroke.  Apparently the blood clot dissolved on its own.

Good news, right?!

Well, in the three weeks since she first appeared to get better.  At least better than she'd been that first terrifying week.  But everything was different.  We now had to make and feed her a special diet (rice and either browned ground beef or chicken).  We had to figure inventive ways to give her the meds she used to take with no issues.  This eventually turned into putting the meds into a cocktail weenie and shoving down her throat.  She hated it.  I hated it even more.  I would think it's like doing something similar to a baby.  It makes them cry (or worse), you hate doing it but you know it's going to make them better. But they don't understand. The worse part of the medication routine was that it wasn't just a series of antibiotics or something.  This was going to be our new "regular" routine.

Last week the hubby was out of town for work.  I took the cats in for a routine check up.  Jax, FIV+ kitty, had a severely abscessed tooth.  Four teeth needed to be removed.  I decided to do it ASAP because I figured he was in a lot of pain.  That was a mistake for me.  I was a little over my head in trying to take care of everyone on my own.  I admit - there was a lot of frustration, sadness and tears.  It's very upsetting to see your beloved doggie decline before your eyes, refuse to take her medication, and have to force feed it to her.  All the while try to medicate a cat by sneaking it in soft food while trying to keep the other cats out of it (and the dog).  Of course I started putting the dog meds in soft cat food so that helped a little but there was still one pill that she refused to take in any form.  So I still had to wrestle with her twice a day.  Very sad indeed.

All the changes in Nikki appeared to be neurologically related to her stroke.  She had marked weakness in her back end and looked to be in considerably more pain.  She had also developed GI issues that stemmed from her brain not communicating with the rest of her body.  This all in addition to the regular old aches and pains of almost being 15.  It was clear she had no quality of life. 

I really hate having to make these kinds of decisions.  Why don't animals just die on their own anymore???  Why couldn't we have woken up one morning to a dog that had peacefully died in her sleep?  Not only is it heart wrenching but the fact that we JUST went through this three months ago was almost unbearable.  And just a little over a year ago we had to make the same decision for our Cabby cat!  Ugh!! 

Since we obviously have had old dogs for a while (so it's no surprise that we are now dog-less) people have asked if we're going to get a new dog.  I say no.  At least not for another 10 - 15 years.  I just can't do it.  I know people will tell you to get another dog soon.  But I can't.  I just can't do it.

I apologize for such a "downer" post.  But this past month has been quite the emotional roller coaster.  Frankly the past few months has been a doggie emotional roller coaster.  I needed to do a little emotional cleansing.  Thanks for listening.

hmmm... I was afraid you'd say that

The half marathon is done.  The medals put away.  The gross, smelly clothes washed. 

But we're still planning on running!  The next event is a 10K turkey trot on - get this - THANKSGIVING!!!  But, as you saw in my previous post, my toes are not feelin' the love.  At all.  So I headed off to my local Fleet Feet to get some info. 

Side Note:  If you're going to run ALWAYS go to your local Fleet Feet!  If you don't have one at least go to your local "real" running store and get fitted for the appropriate running shoe.  DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT just go to Kohl's and buy what's on sale.  You'll regret it.  I promise.

I always go to FF because they measure and scan and watch your stride a bazillion ways to see what shoe is best for you.  And if you're not happy then they'll fix it.  Case in point.  About a month ago when we really started to increase mileage I started getting some of the toe blisters.  I'd had that particular pair of shoes for over a year and they'd been working for lower mileage so I just got the same pair a half size bigger.  You saw my toes after the HM.  I think it's safe to say these "new" shoes aren't working either.

I went to FF today, gave them an up close and personal review of my (toe) issue and got refit.  Gave them back the offending shoes, paid $10 (difference in price) and walked out with a new pair of better fitting shoes.  I should mention that I've been buying running shoes there for the past 7 years and this is the first time I've had to swap out shoes.  But it's nice to know they'll do it.  And I also got some advice on how to take care of my toes until they heal.  Nice bonus....

But here's the rub (pun intended).  I've lost a bit of weight since starting to run.  ANd y'all know I'm cheap and I HATE clothes shopping.  I went over to FF at lunch in chinos and a t-shirt (and requisite cardigan).  I rolled up my pant legs so he could  measure my feet, fit me with the shoes, etc.  Once the shoes were on he asked me to step over to the track and give them a jog so he could see my stride and I could get a feel for them.  (they literally have a stretch of rubber track in the store)  As I started running away from him I realized what a bad decision this was.

1. my pants were literally falling off
2. my boobies were jiggling around inside my bra

Suffice it to say I need to buy new pants and bras.... And it was even more embarrassing to run towards him....

Now all I have to do is make it through the next few weeks at trade shows in pumps and hope my toes can hold up.  If not then I suppose I'll have to sacrifice some toenails....  ugh!

woo hoo!!!

We did it!  We came, we ran and we didn't puke!  I consider that a victory!!

The hubby just had to finish to set a baseline time since he'd never run a half marathon before.  I PR'd by 24 minutes. Um, that's A LOT!!  That just goes to show how unprepared I was for my first HM.  Not to dis my friend I ran it with!! (apologies for ending with a preposition...)  She was in LA and we just met up in Phoenix to run it.  So I was left to train by myself, in Syracuse, in the winter.  Have I mentioned that Syracuse is one of the top 10 cities with the most snowfall in the US?  You can see why I was having such a hard time staying motivated to train...

This time the hubby and I trained together, in the fall.  And did I mention we're both very competitive??  So it's no surprise that it turned out much for me than me than I expected.

My goal, first and foremost, was to PR.  But since that was just running better 13.1 miles faster than a 2:37:07, which is a 11min, 59 second mile, I had no doubt I could beat that - blow it out of the water.  We had been sticking to our training scheduloe and been doing a great job! My big goal was to run a 10:30 min/ mile.  Which would be a finish time of 2:17:39.

Well, since the hubby and I are so competitive we stayed together the WHOLE race.  And we both ended up running faster than we would have if on our own.  We ended up finishing in 2:13!!  He finished in 2:13:13.  I finished 14 seconds behind him!!!  arg!!!!  But that's ok.  We still averaged a 10:11 min mile!!  MUCH better than I expected!!!!

But there were definitely some casualties... (you can understand why I didn't post this to FB....)  I'm pretty certain I'm going to loose some nails.  Worse - I have two trade shows back-to-back coming up where I have to wear pumps!  Ouch!!! 

But the hubby did post other great pics to FB!!

The hubby's set the bar really high to set a PR on his second HM....  I hope he knows what he's gotten himself into...

the big day is here!

Tomorrow is the half marathon! Weather reports range from anything from cold, rainy with wind gusts of 25 mph to cool, and partly sunny. I prefer the latter...

The hubby and I go pick up our race packets today. Of course we'll lay out all our stuff tonight so there will be no panicking in the morning. It's nice that the race is local so we won't have to leave the house until about 6:30 or 6:45!

When I ran I Phoenix amost 2 years ago I think we had to leave the hotel around 5 to get across town (via public transport.), drop our stuff and get situated among the 25,000 people running the half marathon!! (And to get around the 20,000 or so people running the full marathon!) I think there are about 2,000 people running this half and full in total.

So wish us luck!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

almost time

The big race is days away and it couldn't be further from my mind. The hubby is out of town all week and I've been dealing with some serious animal issues - by myself. (I don't know how parents do it, let alone single parents!)

For the past few weeks it's been like having a newborn. Up in the middle of the night. (On a regular basis) sometimes doing laundry in the middle of the night. (But I'm pretty sure that stage has passed. Whew!) A while there we couldn't leave Nikki (dog) unsupervised. At all. Had to call a friend to come sit with her a few hours once.

This week I've had cats at the vet for check ups that turned into a cat needing surgery. As a matter of fact - he's sitting here cuddled up to me still groggy.

And Nikki is getting noticably senile. Ever since her mini stroke about three weeks ago she's definitely not been the same. So this week has been tough especially since the hubby's been out of town. It's hard to focus on a race when so much else is going on. (Did I mention work is exceptionally busy too??)

Right now I just want the pressure of "training for a race" over with. Because the next few weeks are still going to be hell. The hubby will be gone again the following week to Boston for a huge regatta so big he'll be gone way more than just Saturday and Sunday. Then I leave Monday for the week, come home for the weekend and leave again for over a week. By the time Thanksgiving rolls around things should have settled down a bit.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

a week to go

Well, next Sunday we will be running this half marathon. And what was I having for a dinner a week before the HM? Bacon and a gin & tonic. I know what you're thinking - you didn't know alcohol fuels bodies too? (You know, like a bunsen burner)

Two weeks ago our long run was 12 miles. It was cool and rainy and I did great. Yesterday our long run was 8 miles (we're technically in a taper) and I did crappy. Did I mention it was HOT?!?!?! What is it doing almost 80 degrees in central NY in October??? Average temps this time of year are low to mid 60's. You can see my concern. The run yesterday was compounded by us waiting until almost noon to do the run. Why? Because the overnight temps had been in the LOW 30's!!! Go figure... welcome to CNY....

Needless to say I'm a bit concerned about the race. There's nothing worse than breaking your confidence than having a bad long run right before your race. I'm not concerned that I won't finish. But I've been really training and really improvong my pace. I mean REALLY improving my pace. And I want my finish time to reflect that. And of course I'm competitive so I'd like to either beat the hubby or at least finish respectably close to him. Not minutes and minutes behind!

The good news is the forecast is showing (for now) the day of the race to be cool and possible showers. Which, apparently, is when I do my best running. So I'll take it!

(Oh - and no more gin & tonics or bacon until after the HM. In my defense I've been eating exceedingly healthy the past few months. And have lost 15 pounds to prove it!)

Btw - guess where I'm writing this post! At the vet!! No worries. Not here for an emergency this time. I have all three cats here for annual exams. And I had to "capture" all three by myself cuz the hubby flew out of town this morning. (= me driving him to the airport at 4:30 this am...) so I successfully got them ready a bit early and thought the best action was just to bring them a bit early to their 10am appt. Only to get here to find out their appt isn't until 11.... oh well. Better early than late I suppose!! (I do have the day off!)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

the great and not so great

The great!
- losing weight from running!

The not so great...
- swimming in your bra cups
- desperately needing to go bra shopping but refusing to do so for a plethora of reasons

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Still got my Eye on the Prize

Ok.  There will be no prize for me at the end of this half marathon.  I'm not that fast.  Not even close.  But I will tell you I'm frickin' lightening faster training for this HM than I was for my first one just a mere 20 months ago.

I know it has everything to do with my training partner.  Or the fact that I HAVE a training partner.  If anything he keeps me honest.  (or at least I feel guilty if I try to weasel out of something)  I hear it's something called "accountability".  Whatever that is....

Today we had 12 miles to run.  Our longest training run.  I suppose they ("they" being the professional people who put together the training scheduled) figure if you can successfully run 12 miles then you can get through 13.1.  I was not looking forward to it.  Not necessarily because of the distance.  But because it was supposed to be cold AND raining. 

It hasn't been exceptionally cold here yet.  So we haven't had a lot of opportunities to "experiment" with figuring out the right clothing combo for cold temps.  And don't underestimate this.  This is an important component of competing in anything outdoors.  The tough part is figuring what will keep you comfortable, but not too hot.  But remembering that when you start you will feel cold because you have to account for the heat you will produce once you get going.  Tricky, I tell you!!

Now throw in rain.

I was certain we were screwed.

We knew rain was in the forecast so we planned to run as early as we could to try and miss the brunt of it. Alarm set for 5:45AM.  But the dog was up and pacing at 12:30AM.  (had a big scare with the dog all last week.  Thought we were going to lose her.  We didn't but I didn't blog about it because 1) I didn't want to bore you with all the vet details and 2) I was a little emotional about it)  Then I just couldn't get back to sleep.  And then an hour before the alarm went off the hubby had a migraine.  When the alarm did go off I was starting to get one.  And I was in a seriously pissy mood from being up all night.

This run was not starting out on a good note.

We decided to reset the alarm.  Rain be damned.

We started our run at 9:45AM.  The rain storm was delayed and we lucked out!!!  It was 44 degrees and just slightly spitting water.  After a thorough texting session with my BFF in CA (who has tremendous running experience) I altered my apparel choices accordingly (based on the bazillion tops, jackets, etc I had thrown in the car) and we set out.

It was the best long distance run I have EVER HAD!!!!  I even beat the hubby!!  (by only a minute.  But still!  I'll take every little victory!) And it was comfortable!! I don't think I've ever said that about a long run before!  I had dressed perfectly.  The rain never increased.  I was actually able to breathe THROUGH MY NOSE!  That never happens either.  I continually have congested nasal passages.  But the temperature was just right so I could blow out all the runny snot that usually causes me problems.

I know, I know.  That was gross.  But it's a part of running.  Or rowing.  Or riding.  C'mon.  It's just a fact of life in most sports - especially those outside.  At least I carry kleenex and blow my nose and not snot rockets.  But I do spit.  So don't run right behind me, especially slightly to my right or left.  I don't look before I spit.  If you get hit it's your fault, not mine.

So if the weather is similar to today (preferably minus the rain) and my nose is clear I'm feeling very confident about this race!!!  I'm actually looking forward to it!

I'm NOT a Lyrical Genius

I suck at reciting song lyrics. This has resulted in many a laugh for my friends and family.

During a preview for Dexter tonight the music playing was Depeche Mode's "Personal Jesus". The hubby was singing along and got to "reach out and touch faith"

Me: Really?!?! Those are the words!?!?!

Hubby: What did you think they were?

Me: Reach out and touch me! You mean to tell me I've been singing it wrong ALL these years????

Hubby: (rolls eyes) like that's any different than usual... (he didn't say that last part. It was sort of implied.)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4