Welcome my good friend KM to the blogging world!!! Or, as she's know on blogger - CrazyPetLady (I'm calling her CPL for short from now on...)
Check her out! I LOVE ANIMALS!
WELCOME!!!!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
THE PREMIER!!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Preparing for my first movie premier
This past weekend my brother-in-law, Chris, had his first ever movie premier! Whoopie!! We all got invited and it was our first ever movie premier. Since it was filmed in Philly that's where they decided to premier it. So, me, David and the in-laws hit the road this past holiday weekend to see what "Crooked Necktie" was all about! Check it out!
Thursday it hit me - what exactly does one wear to a movie premier?? You know me, the fashionista... plus this wasn't a red carpet event. It's an indie film. casual... but still! what do I wear??!!! So I had KM over after lifting to help pick out something "premier appropriate". I was determined that there was something in my closet that I could wear without having to purchase something new. And if there was KM could find it.
So after lifting KM comes over and we headed up to my closets. (yes, I have the two in the master bedroom. They're small...) I open them up and show KM. She takes and look without even riffling through them and asks "is this all your clothes?..... Like all the clothes you own in your whole entire life??" I guess that means I need to go shopping....
In my own defense all my t-shirts and workout clothes are in drawers... but of course I'm not going to a premier in T-shirts and workout clothes.... but I wouldn't put it past me to try...
But the good news is KM did find something appropriate in my closet. Figures - it was something I bought about 2 years ago that I had never worn before. I didn't know what to wear it with. It still had the tags on it.
So - the premier was a success!!! I would post pictures - but they're all on our home computer so you're going to have to wait. I'll post again with pictures and tell you more about the premier itself.
Thursday it hit me - what exactly does one wear to a movie premier?? You know me, the fashionista... plus this wasn't a red carpet event. It's an indie film. casual... but still! what do I wear??!!! So I had KM over after lifting to help pick out something "premier appropriate". I was determined that there was something in my closet that I could wear without having to purchase something new. And if there was KM could find it.
So after lifting KM comes over and we headed up to my closets. (yes, I have the two in the master bedroom. They're small...) I open them up and show KM. She takes and look without even riffling through them and asks "is this all your clothes?..... Like all the clothes you own in your whole entire life??" I guess that means I need to go shopping....
In my own defense all my t-shirts and workout clothes are in drawers... but of course I'm not going to a premier in T-shirts and workout clothes.... but I wouldn't put it past me to try...
But the good news is KM did find something appropriate in my closet. Figures - it was something I bought about 2 years ago that I had never worn before. I didn't know what to wear it with. It still had the tags on it.
So - the premier was a success!!! I would post pictures - but they're all on our home computer so you're going to have to wait. I'll post again with pictures and tell you more about the premier itself.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
What a twist
Today KM and I were at the gym working out. She was giving me the update on her boyfriend and his latest drama and how it's affecting her, et cetera.... Then I was giving her the scoop on how D's season has already started, how his work is going full force and how he's going to run himself ragged already if he's not careful, et cetera...
Then we both started laughing. Who woulda thunk! The girls in the weight room, puming iron, talking about all the drama in their boy's lives!
What a twist!!
Monday, March 10, 2008
It's the little things...
I just want my hubby to know that I know I've been a handful to live with lately. It's not him, mind you. I think I'm going through some sort of mid-life crisis. I know, I'm too young for a mid-life crisis... but I don't know what else to call it... so I'll call it that.
It's not the weather - but that sure as hell isn't helping!! I don't know what it is. Which isn't helping because I can't articulate to him what the hell is eating at me. But it's not him. It definitely isn't him.
He wants to help me but I don't know what to tell him to do to help. But I can tell him that whatever he is doing does help. It's the little things... like when I got in my car this morning and the clock was already changed!
I don't know how many years I've owned this damned Explorer, or how easy it is to change the clock - but I'll be damned that every time the time changes I have to pull out the manual and look up how to change the clock again...
Or when I was listening to the radio this morning and realized he had also changed the setting to show the name of the song and the artist! Anyone who knows me knows that I can't name the song or artist to save my life- unless of course it's from the 80's. In that case I can tell you what year it came out, what I was doing when I first heard it and what outfit I was wearing... oh, and who was dating who, and all kinds of other ridiculous, useless information...
So, I just want to tell him that these things don't go unnoticed and they DEFINITELY are appreciated... even if I forget to say so.
love you hon.
Friday, March 07, 2008
A couple of long weeks
Wow - I didn't realize how long it's been since I last posted! Time flies when you're on the road!!
Well, let's see, I spent almost a week in Canada, a week in Utah and this week I've been in the office trying to catch up. The next few months are going to be a whirlwind for me at work. Meetings, tradeshows, more meetings, more tradeshows... If I can get through May I'll be ok.
I did have a great time in Utah. I met up with our rep there, Brooke. If you're an avid reader of my blog, and have a great memory, you may remember her from a trip I made to Kanasas City a while back. I went to a kickboxing class with her (and blogged about it, of course!) Well, now she lives in Denver and is our rep for Colorado, Utah and New Mexico. I happened to catch up with her in Salt Lake City to work and then play for a bit on the slopes in Park City. We had a blast!! Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures on the slopes... didn't want to drop my phone in the snow!! But I did get a few at dinner one night in SLC!
Well, let's see, I spent almost a week in Canada, a week in Utah and this week I've been in the office trying to catch up. The next few months are going to be a whirlwind for me at work. Meetings, tradeshows, more meetings, more tradeshows... If I can get through May I'll be ok.
I did have a great time in Utah. I met up with our rep there, Brooke. If you're an avid reader of my blog, and have a great memory, you may remember her from a trip I made to Kanasas City a while back. I went to a kickboxing class with her (and blogged about it, of course!) Well, now she lives in Denver and is our rep for Colorado, Utah and New Mexico. I happened to catch up with her in Salt Lake City to work and then play for a bit on the slopes in Park City. We had a blast!! Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures on the slopes... didn't want to drop my phone in the snow!! But I did get a few at dinner one night in SLC!
Right now I'm trying to think positive thoughts that I'm NOT getting sick. I SWEAR I get sick all the time since I've moved to this damned state. I've been working out, eating well, taking my vitamins, I got my flu shot... what else can I do???!!!!
Friday, February 22, 2008
Count 'em... FIFTY!!!!
Y'all know I HATE shopping for clothes for myself. And it's not just the "oh no, do I have to?" kind of hate. This hate qualifies for the Psychiatry Desk Reference. It's so bad I've been known to have panic attacks. really.
There are several reasons I hate it, not just one in particular. Part of it is the frustration of not finding the right size and fit. Pile on top of that the self-conscious confusion of not understanding where to shop in a department store (of which I have finally figured out to just stop shopping). Mix with that my total lack of (and acceptance of) fashion and style - but not acceptance of snooty sales associates. Add a slice of me hating to part with my money, regardless of how much disposable income my husband and I are fortunate to actually have (again, another one for the Psychiatry Desk Reference). And finally finish off with a dollop of (past) social anxiety. And that folks, is the fixin's for how you get a girl to have a panic attack when shopping for clothes.
Sad, isn't it.
That said, I only own three pairs of jeans. One is actually a "girl" pair, purchased in December of 2001 and 2 are "boy" pairs - as in bought from the men's section of the GAP - purchased in 2004 because the most of the few pairs I had at the time no longer fit (because they were left over from college...) The girl jeans I just started to fit back into a few months ago and the boy jeans are now way too big (and too short. I SWEAR my legs have gotten longer since I bought them...)
Now I just didn't have an epiphany the other day that I needed new jeans. Nope - been talkin' about this for months now. Just couldn't bring myself to do it. (See aforementioned issues.) My friend KM- good soul and fashion-guru that she is - offered her shopping services long ago. I did take her up on it but the more I thought about it the more I wanted to back out. KM's a good friend and I wanted to keep her as a good friend. I figured if she went shopping with me and she saw "my shopping side" the friendship might come to a grinding halt. Then for my birthday she got me a gift certificate to the mall with the specific intent for me to use for us to go jean shopping. I couldn't back out now!!
If you'll recall my birthday was January 28th. We finally went last night. I needed some talking-into... We went on a weeknight - not as crowded, less intimidating. We even forfeited a weight lifting session to go shopping! (KM and I are lifting partners.)
KM had a plan (a GREAT one if you ask me!!) I just stand in the dressing room and she brings me jeans. I just try them on. I promised no whining. Ok, maybe I didn't promise her that out loud but I promised myself that because I figured if I started whining she would never help me again. And I figured I'd probably need her help again...
First stop the GAP. Inside I cringed. Last time I bought jeans I came to the GAP, tried on EVERY style of women's jeans - no luck and then bought 2 pairs of men's. But that was also 2004. So KM starts walking from rack to rack, shelf to shelf. She knows what she's doing and she's on a mission. I'm like her little kid, right on her heels, following her around, not a clue what's going on. Every time a sales associate walks up "can I help you?" Nope lady, we got it. Look at us!! Can't you see????
The first 2 pair I try on look good. Great start. They go in the "possibility" pile. I keep going. I know I have to try on a million pairs. I've seen Stacey and Clinton on TLC. I know what this is all about (which is kinda one reason I've avoided it....) I keep trying. Most end up in the "bad" pile on the floor. No sweat. This is why I have KM. She keeps handing, I keep trying.
You've seen me. You know how I'm shaped. I'm 5'7" with short, thick legs and an "athletic" build. KM is 5'10" and has very long legs and a long and lean build. Needless to say we have body types on the opposite ends of the spectrum. I was a bit worried at first that KM would only know how to shop for her body type but she was great is getting my things that looked great on me too!!!! However, I have this weird thing with a lot of jeans. I get that big ol' gap in the back. I don't think KM is used to the gap in the back. I guess I just have more of a caboose than KM 'cuz that's all I can figure that causes the gap...
So, off to the next store we go. Try on 4 pair there. Next sore, 3 pair there, next store 5 pair there... on and on....
Express
Banana Republic
Limited
NY and Co
Macy's
back to the GAP
Old Navy
There were some noteworthy stores....
Banana Republic:
Unlike some of the other stores that have walls covered in jeans, BR has just 3 or so styles to choose and then 1 or 2 washes. That's it. But we went in anyway. You never know! We picked one pair of each style. I tried the first one. Didn't fit, legs too tight (story of my life..) Tried the next one - didn't fit, can't remember why.
Tried the third one. OH MY GOD!!! remeber the little plastic sleeves you slip onto eggs at easter, dip them into hot water and tada- nicely decorated easter eggs?? I felt like I had those plastic films on my legs (after the boiling water) but the stomach and ass was loose and back of the waistband... I can't even explain it!! It was so loose KM coulda climbed in there with me!! Not only did it just look ridiculous but our next thought was "Who in the hell did they design this for???" What exactly does this person look like???? I mean, really! We were laughing so hard we were getting funny looks from other people in the store. Laughing so hard tears were staring to form. And this was only our second or third store!!
Macy's:
This was what we thought was our last store. KM found this sailor-style pant (she's either fond of sailors or thinks I belong in the navy, I don't know which...) and had me try it on in the size I had been trying all night. Let's just say it didn't fit - as in I FLOATED in it. Yes, we were slap happy, we had now been shopping for OVER TWO HOURS!!, but it too was just styled funny. And it was Ralph Lauren!!! Again - trying to picture who this would flatter was just hilarious!
Eventually we hit a bunch of stores. My ass was draggin! I was so tired! My saddlebags were on fire form trying on all those jeans. I really did start to complain of a rash I was getting around my waist and on my saddlebags.... I told KM if I had to try on one more pair my saddlebags were going to burst into flames. So, we circled back around to the GAP to grab a pair I had put on hold. First KM made me try on MORE jeans there!! No dice. Finally I went to buy the pair the set aside earlier. You're not going to believe this - it was the FIRST pair I tried on. really. They looked good, fit good, felt good on. I bought them. Only problem. They were cute and all but wouldn't look good with my cowboy boots. They were more "trendy" type. So it was looking as though I was going to have to resume my jean hunt another day of more jeans for the boots.
By now we had been shopping for well over two hours. The mall was getting ready to close within 30 minutes. As we were walking out to the car we passed Old Navy which reminded KM that we hadn't stopped there. I really wasn't excited about it because, as I mentioned before, my ass was about to light on fire if I tried on one more pair of denim. But alas, I followed her in. Sure enough, I tried on four more pair - and there, lurking in the depths of the shelves of Old Navy were the perfect pair of jeans for my boots that also flattered my figure!! (AND were only $30!!!!)
On the way home KM and I counted it up. I tried on FIFTY pair of jeans in three hours. And could only find TWO pair that were flattering. Ugh!! So I'm the proud owner of two new pair of jeans. I bet this is just the beginning seeing as how KM is making me throw out the old ones... I'm going to need new to replace the old.... We'll see how lon git takes her to tlak me into that jean shopping trip!!
There are several reasons I hate it, not just one in particular. Part of it is the frustration of not finding the right size and fit. Pile on top of that the self-conscious confusion of not understanding where to shop in a department store (of which I have finally figured out to just stop shopping). Mix with that my total lack of (and acceptance of) fashion and style - but not acceptance of snooty sales associates. Add a slice of me hating to part with my money, regardless of how much disposable income my husband and I are fortunate to actually have (again, another one for the Psychiatry Desk Reference). And finally finish off with a dollop of (past) social anxiety. And that folks, is the fixin's for how you get a girl to have a panic attack when shopping for clothes.
Sad, isn't it.
That said, I only own three pairs of jeans. One is actually a "girl" pair, purchased in December of 2001 and 2 are "boy" pairs - as in bought from the men's section of the GAP - purchased in 2004 because the most of the few pairs I had at the time no longer fit (because they were left over from college...) The girl jeans I just started to fit back into a few months ago and the boy jeans are now way too big (and too short. I SWEAR my legs have gotten longer since I bought them...)
Now I just didn't have an epiphany the other day that I needed new jeans. Nope - been talkin' about this for months now. Just couldn't bring myself to do it. (See aforementioned issues.) My friend KM- good soul and fashion-guru that she is - offered her shopping services long ago. I did take her up on it but the more I thought about it the more I wanted to back out. KM's a good friend and I wanted to keep her as a good friend. I figured if she went shopping with me and she saw "my shopping side" the friendship might come to a grinding halt. Then for my birthday she got me a gift certificate to the mall with the specific intent for me to use for us to go jean shopping. I couldn't back out now!!
If you'll recall my birthday was January 28th. We finally went last night. I needed some talking-into... We went on a weeknight - not as crowded, less intimidating. We even forfeited a weight lifting session to go shopping! (KM and I are lifting partners.)
KM had a plan (a GREAT one if you ask me!!) I just stand in the dressing room and she brings me jeans. I just try them on. I promised no whining. Ok, maybe I didn't promise her that out loud but I promised myself that because I figured if I started whining she would never help me again. And I figured I'd probably need her help again...
First stop the GAP. Inside I cringed. Last time I bought jeans I came to the GAP, tried on EVERY style of women's jeans - no luck and then bought 2 pairs of men's. But that was also 2004. So KM starts walking from rack to rack, shelf to shelf. She knows what she's doing and she's on a mission. I'm like her little kid, right on her heels, following her around, not a clue what's going on. Every time a sales associate walks up "can I help you?" Nope lady, we got it. Look at us!! Can't you see????
The first 2 pair I try on look good. Great start. They go in the "possibility" pile. I keep going. I know I have to try on a million pairs. I've seen Stacey and Clinton on TLC. I know what this is all about (which is kinda one reason I've avoided it....) I keep trying. Most end up in the "bad" pile on the floor. No sweat. This is why I have KM. She keeps handing, I keep trying.
You've seen me. You know how I'm shaped. I'm 5'7" with short, thick legs and an "athletic" build. KM is 5'10" and has very long legs and a long and lean build. Needless to say we have body types on the opposite ends of the spectrum. I was a bit worried at first that KM would only know how to shop for her body type but she was great is getting my things that looked great on me too!!!! However, I have this weird thing with a lot of jeans. I get that big ol' gap in the back. I don't think KM is used to the gap in the back. I guess I just have more of a caboose than KM 'cuz that's all I can figure that causes the gap...
So, off to the next store we go. Try on 4 pair there. Next sore, 3 pair there, next store 5 pair there... on and on....
Express
Banana Republic
Limited
NY and Co
Macy's
back to the GAP
Old Navy
There were some noteworthy stores....
Banana Republic:
Unlike some of the other stores that have walls covered in jeans, BR has just 3 or so styles to choose and then 1 or 2 washes. That's it. But we went in anyway. You never know! We picked one pair of each style. I tried the first one. Didn't fit, legs too tight (story of my life..) Tried the next one - didn't fit, can't remember why.
Tried the third one. OH MY GOD!!! remeber the little plastic sleeves you slip onto eggs at easter, dip them into hot water and tada- nicely decorated easter eggs?? I felt like I had those plastic films on my legs (after the boiling water) but the stomach and ass was loose and back of the waistband... I can't even explain it!! It was so loose KM coulda climbed in there with me!! Not only did it just look ridiculous but our next thought was "Who in the hell did they design this for???" What exactly does this person look like???? I mean, really! We were laughing so hard we were getting funny looks from other people in the store. Laughing so hard tears were staring to form. And this was only our second or third store!!
Macy's:
This was what we thought was our last store. KM found this sailor-style pant (she's either fond of sailors or thinks I belong in the navy, I don't know which...) and had me try it on in the size I had been trying all night. Let's just say it didn't fit - as in I FLOATED in it. Yes, we were slap happy, we had now been shopping for OVER TWO HOURS!!, but it too was just styled funny. And it was Ralph Lauren!!! Again - trying to picture who this would flatter was just hilarious!
Eventually we hit a bunch of stores. My ass was draggin! I was so tired! My saddlebags were on fire form trying on all those jeans. I really did start to complain of a rash I was getting around my waist and on my saddlebags.... I told KM if I had to try on one more pair my saddlebags were going to burst into flames. So, we circled back around to the GAP to grab a pair I had put on hold. First KM made me try on MORE jeans there!! No dice. Finally I went to buy the pair the set aside earlier. You're not going to believe this - it was the FIRST pair I tried on. really. They looked good, fit good, felt good on. I bought them. Only problem. They were cute and all but wouldn't look good with my cowboy boots. They were more "trendy" type. So it was looking as though I was going to have to resume my jean hunt another day of more jeans for the boots.
By now we had been shopping for well over two hours. The mall was getting ready to close within 30 minutes. As we were walking out to the car we passed Old Navy which reminded KM that we hadn't stopped there. I really wasn't excited about it because, as I mentioned before, my ass was about to light on fire if I tried on one more pair of denim. But alas, I followed her in. Sure enough, I tried on four more pair - and there, lurking in the depths of the shelves of Old Navy were the perfect pair of jeans for my boots that also flattered my figure!! (AND were only $30!!!!)
On the way home KM and I counted it up. I tried on FIFTY pair of jeans in three hours. And could only find TWO pair that were flattering. Ugh!! So I'm the proud owner of two new pair of jeans. I bet this is just the beginning seeing as how KM is making me throw out the old ones... I'm going to need new to replace the old.... We'll see how lon git takes her to tlak me into that jean shopping trip!!
Monday, February 11, 2008
you're gonna hate me....
To my friends with kids - don't read this or you might hate me....
Ah, Sunday. I did NUTHIN! And I mean NUTHIN! I didn't even get out of my jammies until I decided to finally take a shower around 5... PM...
Yeah, I did a few loads of laundry when the spirit moved me. But mostly I laid around and watched tv. I rented "The Kingdom" off iControl. I took a nap.
Ok, a few naps. With several cats.
I eventually got up and unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher. I laid back down and watched more tv. I wouldn't have even eaten anything if I hadn't had hunger pangs.
Talk about LAZY!!!! I loved it. and I wasn't even sick! That's the life! Now if I could only figure out how to make money at that I'd be set!
Ah, Sunday. I did NUTHIN! And I mean NUTHIN! I didn't even get out of my jammies until I decided to finally take a shower around 5... PM...
Yeah, I did a few loads of laundry when the spirit moved me. But mostly I laid around and watched tv. I rented "The Kingdom" off iControl. I took a nap.
Ok, a few naps. With several cats.
I eventually got up and unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher. I laid back down and watched more tv. I wouldn't have even eaten anything if I hadn't had hunger pangs.
Talk about LAZY!!!! I loved it. and I wasn't even sick! That's the life! Now if I could only figure out how to make money at that I'd be set!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
anonymous commenting
so far I've been lucky that only my friends have read my blog (ok - that I know about...). I don't generally give out the address so very few people come and visit. I like that. I've one or two "commenting incidents" I've had were just comment spam. That's about it.
Today I got an anonymous comment on an old post from the summer. Sexy Toes. Apparently someone thinks my toes are really sexy and wants to suck on them. I named my post that sarcastically 'cuz we all know my feet ain't pretty - I got monkey toes, y'all.
I have a good sense of humor and all but that was a bit creepy. So, if you're one of my friends who posted that trying to be funny - ha, ha. Nevertheless, from now on you have to be registered to leave comments on my blog.
Just sayin' - gotta keep myself safe. Did anyone else watch Oprah this week??? I'm going out and buying the book *Gift of Fear* - for real!
Today I got an anonymous comment on an old post from the summer. Sexy Toes. Apparently someone thinks my toes are really sexy and wants to suck on them. I named my post that sarcastically 'cuz we all know my feet ain't pretty - I got monkey toes, y'all.
I have a good sense of humor and all but that was a bit creepy. So, if you're one of my friends who posted that trying to be funny - ha, ha. Nevertheless, from now on you have to be registered to leave comments on my blog.
Just sayin' - gotta keep myself safe. Did anyone else watch Oprah this week??? I'm going out and buying the book *Gift of Fear* - for real!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Mystery Partially solved
Ok, so I was in Wally world yesterday picking up butterfly bandages cuz I damn near cut my thumb off.
KL - are you reading this? Good -because I didn't say anything when you and Mike were over but when I was making the chocolate fondue I sliced the SHIT out of my thumb. Don't worry. You know when you cut yourself REALLY bad and there's that period of time between when you cut yourself and when the gushing of blood starts? What is it? like 5 seconds? Well in that period of time I was lucid enough to step away from the counter, grab a napkin and keep the food stuff safe.
In those few seconds I was thinking "shit, does this need stitches?? Here we just had a GREAT dinner (BTW - for everyone else, Mike and KL took me and David out for my bday to a great place, Crotch & Sirloin. Oh, I mean Scotch and Sirloin.) and I might have to go to Urgent Care. Fabulous...."
Want to know when this was all happening? Remember when David was looking for the fondue pot fuel and couldn't find it? I was telling him not to worry about it? I was telling him not to worry about it because I had just damn near chopped my thumb off, that's why. I had better things to worry about at the moment.
ANYWAY - I went to Wally World to get butterflies (in lieu of stitches, which I'm sure would have been overkill) and at the end of the bandage aisle is the sex lube/massage oil and other "items". Curiously, though, not the condoms. Go figure.
As I passed the lube I caught, just out of the corner of my eye, "Vibrating condom"!!! I stopped. I couldn't resist. Seems there are several brands that are touting vibrating condoms. I picked up a package and started reading. In short it's a cock ring with a itsy-bitsy vibrator on top that fits over said male genitalia once the condom is on. I suppose it's run with a battery. I didn't keep on reading. I'm still a little embarrassed by such things.
Give me a catalog or a web page and I'll browse and order 'til the end of time - just don't make me stand in the middle of the aisle of Wally World (in my neighborhood!!) and read the back of packages for hours!! I figure the research I did was enough.
There - I kinda solved the mystery. It's not a condom with vibration built-in per se. All my single friends - you just wait (SP, YP... ; ) Who am I kidding.... even the not-single ones! Watch out!! I'm not afraid to buy it!!!! (I'll just run in, grab whatever I see first and run out. No telling what you're going to get.... ; )
BTW - today is my BIRTHDAY!!! YEAH!!! I'm thirty -something....
KL - are you reading this? Good -because I didn't say anything when you and Mike were over but when I was making the chocolate fondue I sliced the SHIT out of my thumb. Don't worry. You know when you cut yourself REALLY bad and there's that period of time between when you cut yourself and when the gushing of blood starts? What is it? like 5 seconds? Well in that period of time I was lucid enough to step away from the counter, grab a napkin and keep the food stuff safe.
In those few seconds I was thinking "shit, does this need stitches?? Here we just had a GREAT dinner (BTW - for everyone else, Mike and KL took me and David out for my bday to a great place, Crotch & Sirloin. Oh, I mean Scotch and Sirloin.) and I might have to go to Urgent Care. Fabulous...."
Want to know when this was all happening? Remember when David was looking for the fondue pot fuel and couldn't find it? I was telling him not to worry about it? I was telling him not to worry about it because I had just damn near chopped my thumb off, that's why. I had better things to worry about at the moment.
ANYWAY - I went to Wally World to get butterflies (in lieu of stitches, which I'm sure would have been overkill) and at the end of the bandage aisle is the sex lube/massage oil and other "items". Curiously, though, not the condoms. Go figure.
As I passed the lube I caught, just out of the corner of my eye, "Vibrating condom"!!! I stopped. I couldn't resist. Seems there are several brands that are touting vibrating condoms. I picked up a package and started reading. In short it's a cock ring with a itsy-bitsy vibrator on top that fits over said male genitalia once the condom is on. I suppose it's run with a battery. I didn't keep on reading. I'm still a little embarrassed by such things.
Give me a catalog or a web page and I'll browse and order 'til the end of time - just don't make me stand in the middle of the aisle of Wally World (in my neighborhood!!) and read the back of packages for hours!! I figure the research I did was enough.
There - I kinda solved the mystery. It's not a condom with vibration built-in per se. All my single friends - you just wait (SP, YP... ; ) Who am I kidding.... even the not-single ones! Watch out!! I'm not afraid to buy it!!!! (I'll just run in, grab whatever I see first and run out. No telling what you're going to get.... ; )
BTW - today is my BIRTHDAY!!! YEAH!!! I'm thirty -something....
Friday, January 25, 2008
Oops
Madhatter just brought to my attention that it has been WAY too long since my last entry. And to make matters worse, the new guy hasn't even started yet. Doesn't even start until Monday... I feel ashamed...
So Tuesday some of the girls came over to celebrate my bday early (cuz that's when we all could get together). Leave it to them to provide interesting entertainment.
No, no. not THAT kind of entertainment. Men did not leave my house with a paycheck, if that's what crossed your mind. (dirty blog readers....)
Gifts did range from appropriate: Lena, with the help of her boys, got me some new games!!!. Becca got me this cool waterproof roll-bag for my ipod and another "kerchief" to add to my collection. If you don't know about my bandanna-wearin' self read here.
(PLEASE - will one of my friends from the south PLEASE tell Lena to stop calling it a do-rag!!! She's from Jersey and keeps calling them do-rags. I keep telling her that a do-rag is something else COMPLETELY! She totally disagrees. Will somebody back me up on this!!!)
And then there were the gifts you wouldn't necessarily show your grandma (depending on what kind of grandma you have). Yana and her, um, pen holder. Not just any pen holder. An old man butt pen holder, where your pen is held, um, in his butt. And every time you stick your pen in said holder position the old man reacts with, um, reactions. And the playboy bunny mug that Yana also got me. That's another long story I don't have time for here. And Sara with her "early Valentine's Day" gift pack. To list a few things in said gift pack: furry handcuffs, matching "spanking thingy", "fun dice", chocolate coconut bubble bath, lotion... you get the picture.....
Just wait until David gets home from his business trip and sees all this on the dining room table...
And then there was the conversation about someone hearing about Wal-mart selling vibrating condoms. Do they really??? Can anyone else verify this??? Is it battery operated?? If so how does that work?? Considering those of us at the table constitute a pretty intelligent group (civil engineer, physicians assistant, jack of ALL trades, graphic designer-to be architect, MBA) a very involved discussed ensued. We still couldn't figure it out - although we came up with some good ideas.
They thought I should do a product review on it - like I did the Veet with squeegee... I know I tell you guys a lot but I'm not willing to cross the line into my sex life... sorry... go find some young, perky, single thing to that for ya.
So Tuesday some of the girls came over to celebrate my bday early (cuz that's when we all could get together). Leave it to them to provide interesting entertainment.
No, no. not THAT kind of entertainment. Men did not leave my house with a paycheck, if that's what crossed your mind. (dirty blog readers....)
Gifts did range from appropriate: Lena, with the help of her boys, got me some new games!!!. Becca got me this cool waterproof roll-bag for my ipod and another "kerchief" to add to my collection. If you don't know about my bandanna-wearin' self read here.
(PLEASE - will one of my friends from the south PLEASE tell Lena to stop calling it a do-rag!!! She's from Jersey and keeps calling them do-rags. I keep telling her that a do-rag is something else COMPLETELY! She totally disagrees. Will somebody back me up on this!!!)
And then there were the gifts you wouldn't necessarily show your grandma (depending on what kind of grandma you have). Yana and her, um, pen holder. Not just any pen holder. An old man butt pen holder, where your pen is held, um, in his butt. And every time you stick your pen in said holder position the old man reacts with, um, reactions. And the playboy bunny mug that Yana also got me. That's another long story I don't have time for here. And Sara with her "early Valentine's Day" gift pack. To list a few things in said gift pack: furry handcuffs, matching "spanking thingy", "fun dice", chocolate coconut bubble bath, lotion... you get the picture.....
Just wait until David gets home from his business trip and sees all this on the dining room table...
And then there was the conversation about someone hearing about Wal-mart selling vibrating condoms. Do they really??? Can anyone else verify this??? Is it battery operated?? If so how does that work?? Considering those of us at the table constitute a pretty intelligent group (civil engineer, physicians assistant, jack of ALL trades, graphic designer-to be architect, MBA) a very involved discussed ensued. We still couldn't figure it out - although we came up with some good ideas.
They thought I should do a product review on it - like I did the Veet with squeegee... I know I tell you guys a lot but I'm not willing to cross the line into my sex life... sorry... go find some young, perky, single thing to that for ya.
Monday, January 14, 2008
slow goin'
just a heads up - the posts might get a bit slow going as work picks up a bit. and then again they may not - work might provide me with blogging fodder. We'll have to wait and see.
See, SB's "last day" was the 11th. I say "last day" but she's still working under contract for a few weeks until her student teaching gets under way at the end of the month. We just don't really let people go here. Her replacement, RR, starts the 28th, which also happens to be my birthday. Did I mention that RR is a "he", in an office of "she's"?? Ok, my boss is a "he" - but he keeps to himself and is the head honcho. And the rest of the "she's", oh and the new "he", reports to me.
Org chart: He-> me-> to the rest of the she's(2) and he.
See, SB's "last day" was the 11th. I say "last day" but she's still working under contract for a few weeks until her student teaching gets under way at the end of the month. We just don't really let people go here. Her replacement, RR, starts the 28th, which also happens to be my birthday. Did I mention that RR is a "he", in an office of "she's"?? Ok, my boss is a "he" - but he keeps to himself and is the head honcho. And the rest of the "she's", oh and the new "he", reports to me.
Org chart: He-> me-> to the rest of the she's(2) and he.
For a grand total of 5 of us in the office. There's actually another "he" parallel to my boss but he's only in the office about 10-15 days a year so technically there's 6 of us in our office. The "she's" (me included) used to way outnumber the "he's" in the office.... but now it's getting closer....
This will be interesting to see if/ how the dyanamic changes....
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Veet fiasco Part II
Remember my "shaving incident"???
And then remember the not-so-positive Veet product review?
Well, you know I'm cheap and that Veet cost me almost TEN bucks!! So even though it sucked I wasn't just going to toss it (although in retrospect I should have...) Well, I thought I found a use for it this past weekend.
Time to 'fess up. Here it was, January 5th, and I hadn't shaved - anything- legs, pits, nothing - since Christmas Eve. Yep. It's official. I'm disgusting. Go ahead, send sympathy cards to my husband. I won't be upset. I'll remind you too, I'm a brunette. A real one. That hair was so long it wasn't even sticking out anymore. It was starting to lay flat. I'll stop - I know I'm grossing you out.
Now you men and other brunettes know you can't just go whacking that shit off with a razor. It has to be trimmed first. I should note here that the last time I shaved before Christmas Eve was December 14th - the day of my surgery. I know, gross again. On Christmas Eve I DID try to just shave it off. I damn near set my leg on fire with razor burn. This is how I know you can't just shave it off.
I digress - So I decided "ah ha!" I'll get out that Veet and at least soften it up a bit. Perfect! I'm not lookin' to get it all off. My plan was to 1) remove pants 2) apply Veet 3) wait appropriate amount of time 4) jump into shower 5) remove with squeegee doo-hicky thingy 6) continue on with normal shower and shave as usual.
Sounds easy, right?
Wrong.
At the time I had on pajama pants and thermal DMB shirt. I removed pants but kept on top - it was cold!!! I picked up Veet can, held with right hand and proceeded to spray into left hand. Except it didn't go into my hand! It sprayed up and all over my sleeve of my DMB shirt and then into my hand! AH!!!
me: David!!!! get in here!!!!!
D: (running breathlessly into bathroom) what's wrong? (looking around, trying to assess situation)
D: why don't you have on any pants?
me: never mind!!! (with now a handful of Veet CHEMICALS!! trying to figure out plan) I need help!!
D: what do you want me to do?
me: ok, ok, ok.... ok. (wiping handful of Veet onto leg, thinking) I'm going to take this shirt off and I need you to take it downstairs and start a load of laundry with it, ok? I don't want it ruining my shirt.
D: ok
me: here's the problem. I have to get this off because in 6 minutes I'm going to have a MAJOR chemical burn problem! got it??!!! I need you to hit the start on my watch - I'm still going to time this.
D: got it! (he fumbles with my watch trying to get timer started.)
Now I'm trying to wipe Veet onto my leg because I'm not about to abort my plan.
I gently pull my arms out of the shirt and slip it over my head. As I swing the arm with the Veet sprayed on it it accidentally wipes across the BACK OF MY NECK!!! (thank god my hair was in a ponytail!!!!!)
me: oh my god!!! it's on my neck. (as my hands are COVERED with Veet)
D: uh oh, it's everywhere
me: ok, ok, ok, ok, (trying to think fast - I start smearing the last of the Veet on my leg)
me: turn on the faucet!!!
Luckily I get my hands rinsed and wipe off my neck, praying none got in my hair. I get in the shower, squeegee it off, shave and shower. Legs as smooth as a baby's butt.
In the end everything turned out ok. But that damned Veet is haunting me. I still say stay away from it...
And then remember the not-so-positive Veet product review?
Well, you know I'm cheap and that Veet cost me almost TEN bucks!! So even though it sucked I wasn't just going to toss it (although in retrospect I should have...) Well, I thought I found a use for it this past weekend.
Time to 'fess up. Here it was, January 5th, and I hadn't shaved - anything- legs, pits, nothing - since Christmas Eve. Yep. It's official. I'm disgusting. Go ahead, send sympathy cards to my husband. I won't be upset. I'll remind you too, I'm a brunette. A real one. That hair was so long it wasn't even sticking out anymore. It was starting to lay flat. I'll stop - I know I'm grossing you out.
Now you men and other brunettes know you can't just go whacking that shit off with a razor. It has to be trimmed first. I should note here that the last time I shaved before Christmas Eve was December 14th - the day of my surgery. I know, gross again. On Christmas Eve I DID try to just shave it off. I damn near set my leg on fire with razor burn. This is how I know you can't just shave it off.
I digress - So I decided "ah ha!" I'll get out that Veet and at least soften it up a bit. Perfect! I'm not lookin' to get it all off. My plan was to 1) remove pants 2) apply Veet 3) wait appropriate amount of time 4) jump into shower 5) remove with squeegee doo-hicky thingy 6) continue on with normal shower and shave as usual.
Sounds easy, right?
Wrong.
At the time I had on pajama pants and thermal DMB shirt. I removed pants but kept on top - it was cold!!! I picked up Veet can, held with right hand and proceeded to spray into left hand. Except it didn't go into my hand! It sprayed up and all over my sleeve of my DMB shirt and then into my hand! AH!!!
me: David!!!! get in here!!!!!
D: (running breathlessly into bathroom) what's wrong? (looking around, trying to assess situation)
D: why don't you have on any pants?
me: never mind!!! (with now a handful of Veet CHEMICALS!! trying to figure out plan) I need help!!
D: what do you want me to do?
me: ok, ok, ok.... ok. (wiping handful of Veet onto leg, thinking) I'm going to take this shirt off and I need you to take it downstairs and start a load of laundry with it, ok? I don't want it ruining my shirt.
D: ok
me: here's the problem. I have to get this off because in 6 minutes I'm going to have a MAJOR chemical burn problem! got it??!!! I need you to hit the start on my watch - I'm still going to time this.
D: got it! (he fumbles with my watch trying to get timer started.)
Now I'm trying to wipe Veet onto my leg because I'm not about to abort my plan.
I gently pull my arms out of the shirt and slip it over my head. As I swing the arm with the Veet sprayed on it it accidentally wipes across the BACK OF MY NECK!!! (thank god my hair was in a ponytail!!!!!)
me: oh my god!!! it's on my neck. (as my hands are COVERED with Veet)
D: uh oh, it's everywhere
me: ok, ok, ok, ok, (trying to think fast - I start smearing the last of the Veet on my leg)
me: turn on the faucet!!!
Luckily I get my hands rinsed and wipe off my neck, praying none got in my hair. I get in the shower, squeegee it off, shave and shower. Legs as smooth as a baby's butt.
In the end everything turned out ok. But that damned Veet is haunting me. I still say stay away from it...
Monday, December 31, 2007
A Dillon christmas....
So Dad came to visit for 10 days. In on the 20th, out on the 30th. What do we do for 10 days?? I figured he'd want to rest. He did just move himself, you know. After he left at Thanksgiving he flew home and made a mad dash to move 17 years worth of stuff in three weeks to a new house. That included doing last minute repairs to his current house for the new owners (part of the contract...)
You know, nothing in our house is normal... and that includes Christmas. Well, the actual holiday was normal. Christmas Eve, Grandma C's house. Christmas Day, mother-in-law's family's place.... I figured after the actual holidays we'd be lazy, go out to eat, go see movies... that kind of stuff.
Nope.
Now there's been a big debate as to who's idea this was - mine or dad's. I say it was dad's. The man just can't sit still. But to put it in a nutshell - Wednesday through Saturday (he left Sunday morning) we went full throttle home make over, all day, every day.
I'm not kidding.
We tiled the hallway and redid the powder room (which is right off the hallway) which included taking down the wallpaper (hideous!!) , taking out the old sink and vanity, light fixture and toilet, painting the room and installing a tile floor, new: moulding, pedestal sink, mirror, light fixture, toilet and hardware. I still have to paint the hallway and put up new moulding before I'm done. To be "officially" done I have to get a new runner and pretty things for the walls. (I only had a mirror and a table in the hallway before.)
Yep - that's how we spent our Christmas..... I need a vacation from my vacation...
Oh, and we were supposed to tile the kitchen while dad was here too but we ran out of time. The good news is we already bought the tile for the kitchen so now it's just a matter of finding the time to do it...
I'm a terrible DIYer - I always forget to take "before" pics. The vinyl flooring in the hallway and kitchen is the same though - 1980's brown, orange and cream shit... original to the house. Now you know why I had to tile over it. It HAD to go.... The previous owners thought it would be just fine to put up wallpaper of their liking and not mess with the floor.
The wallpaper in the bathroom was a.... well, think pastel Monet impressionistic crap (with the brown, orange and cream vinyl floor....) hung terribly to where I'd sit on the crapper and peel the paper at the seems. (I figured that'd get me a remodel faster... hey, it worked!!)
The wallpaper in the hallway was a light silvery, cream, something... I don't know - something yucky. Also hung terribly. (Note to y'all out there. If you can't hang paper correctly, PAINT!!!) Again, with the brown, orange and cream vinyl floor.
SO.... that's how we spend Christmas.... Any takers on coming to visit next year???
You know, nothing in our house is normal... and that includes Christmas. Well, the actual holiday was normal. Christmas Eve, Grandma C's house. Christmas Day, mother-in-law's family's place.... I figured after the actual holidays we'd be lazy, go out to eat, go see movies... that kind of stuff.
Nope.
Now there's been a big debate as to who's idea this was - mine or dad's. I say it was dad's. The man just can't sit still. But to put it in a nutshell - Wednesday through Saturday (he left Sunday morning) we went full throttle home make over, all day, every day.
I'm not kidding.
We tiled the hallway and redid the powder room (which is right off the hallway) which included taking down the wallpaper (hideous!!) , taking out the old sink and vanity, light fixture and toilet, painting the room and installing a tile floor, new: moulding, pedestal sink, mirror, light fixture, toilet and hardware. I still have to paint the hallway and put up new moulding before I'm done. To be "officially" done I have to get a new runner and pretty things for the walls. (I only had a mirror and a table in the hallway before.)
Yep - that's how we spent our Christmas..... I need a vacation from my vacation...
Oh, and we were supposed to tile the kitchen while dad was here too but we ran out of time. The good news is we already bought the tile for the kitchen so now it's just a matter of finding the time to do it...
I'm a terrible DIYer - I always forget to take "before" pics. The vinyl flooring in the hallway and kitchen is the same though - 1980's brown, orange and cream shit... original to the house. Now you know why I had to tile over it. It HAD to go.... The previous owners thought it would be just fine to put up wallpaper of their liking and not mess with the floor.
The wallpaper in the bathroom was a.... well, think pastel Monet impressionistic crap (with the brown, orange and cream vinyl floor....) hung terribly to where I'd sit on the crapper and peel the paper at the seems. (I figured that'd get me a remodel faster... hey, it worked!!)
The wallpaper in the hallway was a light silvery, cream, something... I don't know - something yucky. Also hung terribly. (Note to y'all out there. If you can't hang paper correctly, PAINT!!!) Again, with the brown, orange and cream vinyl floor.
SO.... that's how we spend Christmas.... Any takers on coming to visit next year???
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
true love
when do you know it's true love?
when he sends you flowers every day?
when he gets you that special "something" you've always wanted?
when you finish each other's sentences?
when he can read what's on your mind?
when he can tell you've had a bad day? when he knows what to do when you've had that bad day?
when you feel secure in his arms, knowing everything will always be fine, so long as you're together?
when, no matter what, you know he'd walk through thick and thin, to do whatever is necessary for you and your relationship?
I know when. When you're sitting on the toilet, in your worst possible moment, crying in pain and he's right there beside you, telling you it's going to be ok, while simultaneously running you a sitz bath so you can make as smooth a transition as possible from toilet to bath. And in the end you know he'll still love you and not think less of you even during one of the most grossest moments you can possibly imagine.
If that's not true love I don't know what is....
when he sends you flowers every day?
when he gets you that special "something" you've always wanted?
when you finish each other's sentences?
when he can read what's on your mind?
when he can tell you've had a bad day? when he knows what to do when you've had that bad day?
when you feel secure in his arms, knowing everything will always be fine, so long as you're together?
when, no matter what, you know he'd walk through thick and thin, to do whatever is necessary for you and your relationship?
I know when. When you're sitting on the toilet, in your worst possible moment, crying in pain and he's right there beside you, telling you it's going to be ok, while simultaneously running you a sitz bath so you can make as smooth a transition as possible from toilet to bath. And in the end you know he'll still love you and not think less of you even during one of the most grossest moments you can possibly imagine.
If that's not true love I don't know what is....
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