New addiction...

Ok, so I'm a little late on techno wagon...

I've perused ebay on occasion. I've even bought something off of it. (for my dad... he wanted this very specific creel for x-mas a few years back and I could only find it on an ebay store...) But I have now gone the next step....

Yes folks - I'm now officially selling things on ebay.

But out of, what to call it??
shame? no, that's not really it. (especially if I end up making some coin at it!! : )

embarassment? no, that's not really it either... I don't think...

but anyway - I'm not telling you what ID I'm using so you won't know what I'm selling.

It all started because I'm drowning in all the "stuff" in my house. I started to gather things for a garage sale I've already scheduled for June 14th. I started looking at some of the stuff and realized that a few things are pretty nice!!! It's just that I'm not utilizing them and their taking up precious space in my house!

I thought - too bad I won't get the money that stuff is worth at a garage sale.

Then it hit me.... I ought to put it on Craig's list or something. Or better yet!! Ebay!!!!

So, I just started listing a few things. I don't see this as a long term thing - I only have a few "nice" things that I was hoping to get a bit more money for than I would at the garage sale. I mean really - the packing up and shipping wouldn't make this a practical endeavor for the majority of what I have anyway...

Beware of those that look innocent...

See this face? Looks innocent doesn't it? Doesn't look like a human eating machine, does it?

Well, it is.

This adorable looking, slipper fetish, Jax-cuddling bundle of fur is on the NY state animal biting shit-list.

Really.

And now I'm on TWO antibiotics with a red, swollen hand, a finger that looks like a vienna sausage and seeing a surgeon for check ups every few days to make sure the little booger didn't "accidentally" chomp into a tendon or nerve in my hand and cause some really serious damage. (who knew cats mouths are so dirty??!!!)

Really.

Monday Karl had to go to the vet for a routine check-up. Guess what - he really didn't want to go. I got bit TWICE in the process. NY state law says the vet has to write it up and Karl has to be quarentined for 10 days. (can't let him outside - no problem...)

It gets better. After 10 days I have to bring him BACK TO THE VET for another check-up so the vet can complete the NY state paperwork!!! Do they realize that that's what got me into this predicament in the first place????

Do we really need any more drama at my house??? and many thanks to my friend Yana who's a physician asst. - I was able to call her afer it happened and go to her house. She took care of me - cleaned the wound, determined no stitches were needed, wrapped me up and wrote me some scripts. Kept me from having to book it over to urgent care at 7:30pm on a Monday night!!!

Argh!!!

The Secret

Have you heard of the book The Secret? It's been on Oprah.... It's the book that says if you really want something all you have to do is "ask" for it and the stars align, and the universe answers what you want....

I'm The Reverse Secret. Over the weekend I'm driving and realize my inspection for my car has expired. Since I got a ticket for an expired inspection February '07 I think to myself, "Self, must get car inspected and soon!! Wouldn't want to get another ticket for an expired inspection!!" I get in the car Sunday and again remind myself how dire the situation is. I MUST get the inspection situation remedied. The NY state troopers do NOT mess around with these things. But what can I really do about it on a weekend??

So this morning I'm driving to work bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to start a new week. As I'm pulling on to the interstate entrance ramp I notice a back-up of cars. "Is there a wreck on the interstate??" I tune into the radio trying to find traffic info when it's my turn to go. I make my left hand turn and lo and behold... a checkpoint. ON THE ENTRANCE RAMP!!!

At first I think "I'm fine. I have my seat belt on." Then it hits me! SHIT!! My inspection's expired!!! I thought about it and thought about it and the universe made it so!!! Sure enough, the trooper is slowly waving cars through, gets to me, holds up his hand and motions me to the side of the road.

I pull over. I'm getting a ticket for an expired inspection AGAIN. But what's worse... it's the SAME COP that pulled me over the last time!!! Thank god he didn't recognize me. And at least this time he had a sense of humor.

Cop: ma'am do you realize you're inspection has expired?

me: you're not going to believe me, but yes. I just realized it last night. I swear. (I'm actually smiling because I truly can't believe my luck. cop is actually smiling too.)

Cop: may I have your drivers license and registration?

me: sure, hold on. (I'm cool as a cucumber because, again, I can't believe my luck - which, in fact must have been what made me so believable.)

I start rummaging through my filthy glove compartment looking for my registration - which I don't understand because in NY your registration is also right on your damn windshield anyway. I think they do it to make you nervous.... didn't work.

me: Do you mind if I go ahead and get you mu drivers license? It might take me a while to find this.

Cop: (grinning) sure.

me: Ok. it's in the back seat. (purse is back there with computer bag) hold on.

I quickly retrieve said DL, hand it over, and return to rummaging through glove compartment. Nothing.

me: I have it, I swear. Do you mind if I call my husband and ask him what he did with it?

Cop: (smiling) ma'am, that won't be necessary. This'll be fine. (looks at the info on my windshield and goes back to his car.)

Meanwhile I'm still shifting through the shit in my glove box, cussing David in my head wondering where in the hell he put these important documents. I mean, really. I've kept these things in here my whole life. Where are they?? I give up and start throwing it all back in there.

Then it occurs to me that Ford provides you with this nice little zipped up binder for your manual and maintenance log.... and again, lo and behold... that's where it was...

Cop walks back up to my car... I'm sitting there with the documents in my hand...

me: (meekly) I found them... (weak smile...)

Cop: really? I already wrote you up for them!

me: really!!

Cop: (smiling) no, I'm kidding.

Yeah, funny, ha, ha...

He actually was nice and wrote me up for a lesser charge. (apparently our previous run in 14 months ago wasn't in the system... thank god...) Needless to say I took care of it at lunch!!!

Car inspected - check!!!!!

Add another blogger to the list!

Welcome my good friend KM to the blogging world!!! Or, as she's know on blogger - CrazyPetLady (I'm calling her CPL for short from now on...)

Check her out! I LOVE ANIMALS!

WELCOME!!!!

THE PREMIER!!

Sara and Chris - the stars of the Crooked Necktie! (really!!!)















The "diva" and his big brother...














The proud parents.














Me and David all gussied up.

Preparing for my first movie premier

This past weekend my brother-in-law, Chris, had his first ever movie premier! Whoopie!! We all got invited and it was our first ever movie premier. Since it was filmed in Philly that's where they decided to premier it. So, me, David and the in-laws hit the road this past holiday weekend to see what "Crooked Necktie" was all about! Check it out!

Thursday it hit me - what exactly does one wear to a movie premier?? You know me, the fashionista... plus this wasn't a red carpet event. It's an indie film. casual... but still! what do I wear??!!! So I had KM over after lifting to help pick out something "premier appropriate". I was determined that there was something in my closet that I could wear without having to purchase something new. And if there was KM could find it.

So after lifting KM comes over and we headed up to my closets. (yes, I have the two in the master bedroom. They're small...) I open them up and show KM. She takes and look without even riffling through them and asks "is this all your clothes?..... Like all the clothes you own in your whole entire life??" I guess that means I need to go shopping....

In my own defense all my t-shirts and workout clothes are in drawers... but of course I'm not going to a premier in T-shirts and workout clothes.... but I wouldn't put it past me to try...

But the good news is KM did find something appropriate in my closet. Figures - it was something I bought about 2 years ago that I had never worn before. I didn't know what to wear it with. It still had the tags on it.

So - the premier was a success!!! I would post pictures - but they're all on our home computer so you're going to have to wait. I'll post again with pictures and tell you more about the premier itself.

What a twist

Today KM and I were at the gym working out. She was giving me the update on her boyfriend and his latest drama and how it's affecting her, et cetera.... Then I was giving her the scoop on how D's season has already started, how his work is going full force and how he's going to run himself ragged already if he's not careful, et cetera...

Then we both started laughing. Who woulda thunk! The girls in the weight room, puming iron, talking about all the drama in their boy's lives!

What a twist!!

It's the little things...

I just want my hubby to know that I know I've been a handful to live with lately. It's not him, mind you. I think I'm going through some sort of mid-life crisis. I know, I'm too young for a mid-life crisis... but I don't know what else to call it... so I'll call it that.

It's not the weather - but that sure as hell isn't helping!! I don't know what it is. Which isn't helping because I can't articulate to him what the hell is eating at me. But it's not him. It definitely isn't him.

He wants to help me but I don't know what to tell him to do to help. But I can tell him that whatever he is doing does help. It's the little things... like when I got in my car this morning and the clock was already changed!

I don't know how many years I've owned this damned Explorer, or how easy it is to change the clock - but I'll be damned that every time the time changes I have to pull out the manual and look up how to change the clock again...

Or when I was listening to the radio this morning and realized he had also changed the setting to show the name of the song and the artist! Anyone who knows me knows that I can't name the song or artist to save my life- unless of course it's from the 80's. In that case I can tell you what year it came out, what I was doing when I first heard it and what outfit I was wearing... oh, and who was dating who, and all kinds of other ridiculous, useless information...

So, I just want to tell him that these things don't go unnoticed and they DEFINITELY are appreciated... even if I forget to say so.

love you hon.

A couple of long weeks

Wow - I didn't realize how long it's been since I last posted! Time flies when you're on the road!!

Well, let's see, I spent almost a week in Canada, a week in Utah and this week I've been in the office trying to catch up. The next few months are going to be a whirlwind for me at work. Meetings, tradeshows, more meetings, more tradeshows... If I can get through May I'll be ok.

I did have a great time in Utah. I met up with our rep there, Brooke. If you're an avid reader of my blog, and have a great memory, you may remember her from a trip I made to Kanasas City a while back. I went to a kickboxing class with her (and blogged about it, of course!) Well, now she lives in Denver and is our rep for Colorado, Utah and New Mexico. I happened to catch up with her in Salt Lake City to work and then play for a bit on the slopes in Park City. We had a blast!! Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures on the slopes... didn't want to drop my phone in the snow!! But I did get a few at dinner one night in SLC!

Right now I'm trying to think positive thoughts that I'm NOT getting sick. I SWEAR I get sick all the time since I've moved to this damned state. I've been working out, eating well, taking my vitamins, I got my flu shot... what else can I do???!!!!

Count 'em... FIFTY!!!!

Y'all know I HATE shopping for clothes for myself. And it's not just the "oh no, do I have to?" kind of hate. This hate qualifies for the Psychiatry Desk Reference. It's so bad I've been known to have panic attacks. really.

There are several reasons I hate it, not just one in particular. Part of it is the frustration of not finding the right size and fit. Pile on top of that the self-conscious confusion of not understanding where to shop in a department store (of which I have finally figured out to just stop shopping). Mix with that my total lack of (and acceptance of) fashion and style - but not acceptance of snooty sales associates. Add a slice of me hating to part with my money, regardless of how much disposable income my husband and I are fortunate to actually have (again, another one for the Psychiatry Desk Reference). And finally finish off with a dollop of (past) social anxiety. And that folks, is the fixin's for how you get a girl to have a panic attack when shopping for clothes.

Sad, isn't it.

That said, I only own three pairs of jeans. One is actually a "girl" pair, purchased in December of 2001 and 2 are "boy" pairs - as in bought from the men's section of the GAP - purchased in 2004 because the most of the few pairs I had at the time no longer fit (because they were left over from college...) The girl jeans I just started to fit back into a few months ago and the boy jeans are now way too big (and too short. I SWEAR my legs have gotten longer since I bought them...)

Now I just didn't have an epiphany the other day that I needed new jeans. Nope - been talkin' about this for months now. Just couldn't bring myself to do it. (See aforementioned issues.) My friend KM- good soul and fashion-guru that she is - offered her shopping services long ago. I did take her up on it but the more I thought about it the more I wanted to back out. KM's a good friend and I wanted to keep her as a good friend. I figured if she went shopping with me and she saw "my shopping side" the friendship might come to a grinding halt. Then for my birthday she got me a gift certificate to the mall with the specific intent for me to use for us to go jean shopping. I couldn't back out now!!

If you'll recall my birthday was January 28th. We finally went last night. I needed some talking-into... We went on a weeknight - not as crowded, less intimidating. We even forfeited a weight lifting session to go shopping! (KM and I are lifting partners.)

KM had a plan (a GREAT one if you ask me!!) I just stand in the dressing room and she brings me jeans. I just try them on. I promised no whining. Ok, maybe I didn't promise her that out loud but I promised myself that because I figured if I started whining she would never help me again. And I figured I'd probably need her help again...

First stop the GAP. Inside I cringed. Last time I bought jeans I came to the GAP, tried on EVERY style of women's jeans - no luck and then bought 2 pairs of men's. But that was also 2004. So KM starts walking from rack to rack, shelf to shelf. She knows what she's doing and she's on a mission. I'm like her little kid, right on her heels, following her around, not a clue what's going on. Every time a sales associate walks up "can I help you?" Nope lady, we got it. Look at us!! Can't you see????

The first 2 pair I try on look good. Great start. They go in the "possibility" pile. I keep going. I know I have to try on a million pairs. I've seen Stacey and Clinton on TLC. I know what this is all about (which is kinda one reason I've avoided it....) I keep trying. Most end up in the "bad" pile on the floor. No sweat. This is why I have KM. She keeps handing, I keep trying.

You've seen me. You know how I'm shaped. I'm 5'7" with short, thick legs and an "athletic" build. KM is 5'10" and has very long legs and a long and lean build. Needless to say we have body types on the opposite ends of the spectrum. I was a bit worried at first that KM would only know how to shop for her body type but she was great is getting my things that looked great on me too!!!! However, I have this weird thing with a lot of jeans. I get that big ol' gap in the back. I don't think KM is used to the gap in the back. I guess I just have more of a caboose than KM 'cuz that's all I can figure that causes the gap...

So, off to the next store we go. Try on 4 pair there. Next sore, 3 pair there, next store 5 pair there... on and on....
Express
Banana Republic
Limited
NY and Co
Macy's
back to the GAP
Old Navy

There were some noteworthy stores....

Banana Republic:
Unlike some of the other stores that have walls covered in jeans, BR has just 3 or so styles to choose and then 1 or 2 washes. That's it. But we went in anyway. You never know! We picked one pair of each style. I tried the first one. Didn't fit, legs too tight (story of my life..) Tried the next one - didn't fit, can't remember why.

Tried the third one. OH MY GOD!!! remeber the little plastic sleeves you slip onto eggs at easter, dip them into hot water and tada- nicely decorated easter eggs?? I felt like I had those plastic films on my legs (after the boiling water) but the stomach and ass was loose and back of the waistband... I can't even explain it!! It was so loose KM coulda climbed in there with me!! Not only did it just look ridiculous but our next thought was "Who in the hell did they design this for???" What exactly does this person look like???? I mean, really! We were laughing so hard we were getting funny looks from other people in the store. Laughing so hard tears were staring to form. And this was only our second or third store!!

Macy's:
This was what we thought was our last store. KM found this sailor-style pant (she's either fond of sailors or thinks I belong in the navy, I don't know which...) and had me try it on in the size I had been trying all night. Let's just say it didn't fit - as in I FLOATED in it. Yes, we were slap happy, we had now been shopping for OVER TWO HOURS!!, but it too was just styled funny. And it was Ralph Lauren!!! Again - trying to picture who this would flatter was just hilarious!


Eventually we hit a bunch of stores. My ass was draggin! I was so tired! My saddlebags were on fire form trying on all those jeans. I really did start to complain of a rash I was getting around my waist and on my saddlebags.... I told KM if I had to try on one more pair my saddlebags were going to burst into flames. So, we circled back around to the GAP to grab a pair I had put on hold. First KM made me try on MORE jeans there!! No dice. Finally I went to buy the pair the set aside earlier. You're not going to believe this - it was the FIRST pair I tried on. really. They looked good, fit good, felt good on. I bought them. Only problem. They were cute and all but wouldn't look good with my cowboy boots. They were more "trendy" type. So it was looking as though I was going to have to resume my jean hunt another day of more jeans for the boots.

By now we had been shopping for well over two hours. The mall was getting ready to close within 30 minutes. As we were walking out to the car we passed Old Navy which reminded KM that we hadn't stopped there. I really wasn't excited about it because, as I mentioned before, my ass was about to light on fire if I tried on one more pair of denim. But alas, I followed her in. Sure enough, I tried on four more pair - and there, lurking in the depths of the shelves of Old Navy were the perfect pair of jeans for my boots that also flattered my figure!! (AND were only $30!!!!)

On the way home KM and I counted it up. I tried on FIFTY pair of jeans in three hours. And could only find TWO pair that were flattering. Ugh!! So I'm the proud owner of two new pair of jeans. I bet this is just the beginning seeing as how KM is making me throw out the old ones... I'm going to need new to replace the old.... We'll see how lon git takes her to tlak me into that jean shopping trip!!

you're gonna hate me....

To my friends with kids - don't read this or you might hate me....

Ah, Sunday. I did NUTHIN! And I mean NUTHIN! I didn't even get out of my jammies until I decided to finally take a shower around 5... PM...

Yeah, I did a few loads of laundry when the spirit moved me. But mostly I laid around and watched tv. I rented "The Kingdom" off iControl. I took a nap.

Ok, a few naps. With several cats.

I eventually got up and unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher. I laid back down and watched more tv. I wouldn't have even eaten anything if I hadn't had hunger pangs.

Talk about LAZY!!!! I loved it. and I wasn't even sick! That's the life! Now if I could only figure out how to make money at that I'd be set!

anonymous commenting

so far I've been lucky that only my friends have read my blog (ok - that I know about...). I don't generally give out the address so very few people come and visit. I like that. I've one or two "commenting incidents" I've had were just comment spam. That's about it.

Today I got an anonymous comment on an old post from the summer. Sexy Toes. Apparently someone thinks my toes are really sexy and wants to suck on them. I named my post that sarcastically 'cuz we all know my feet ain't pretty - I got monkey toes, y'all.

I have a good sense of humor and all but that was a bit creepy. So, if you're one of my friends who posted that trying to be funny - ha, ha. Nevertheless, from now on you have to be registered to leave comments on my blog.

Just sayin' - gotta keep myself safe. Did anyone else watch Oprah this week??? I'm going out and buying the book *Gift of Fear* - for real!

Mystery Partially solved

Ok, so I was in Wally world yesterday picking up butterfly bandages cuz I damn near cut my thumb off.

KL - are you reading this? Good -because I didn't say anything when you and Mike were over but when I was making the chocolate fondue I sliced the SHIT out of my thumb. Don't worry. You know when you cut yourself REALLY bad and there's that period of time between when you cut yourself and when the gushing of blood starts? What is it? like 5 seconds? Well in that period of time I was lucid enough to step away from the counter, grab a napkin and keep the food stuff safe.

In those few seconds I was thinking "shit, does this need stitches?? Here we just had a GREAT dinner (BTW - for everyone else, Mike and KL took me and David out for my bday to a great place, Crotch & Sirloin. Oh, I mean Scotch and Sirloin.) and I might have to go to Urgent Care. Fabulous...."

Want to know when this was all happening? Remember when David was looking for the fondue pot fuel and couldn't find it? I was telling him not to worry about it? I was telling him not to worry about it because I had just damn near chopped my thumb off, that's why. I had better things to worry about at the moment.

ANYWAY - I went to Wally World to get butterflies (in lieu of stitches, which I'm sure would have been overkill) and at the end of the bandage aisle is the sex lube/massage oil and other "items". Curiously, though, not the condoms. Go figure.

As I passed the lube I caught, just out of the corner of my eye, "Vibrating condom"!!! I stopped. I couldn't resist. Seems there are several brands that are touting vibrating condoms. I picked up a package and started reading. In short it's a cock ring with a itsy-bitsy vibrator on top that fits over said male genitalia once the condom is on. I suppose it's run with a battery. I didn't keep on reading. I'm still a little embarrassed by such things.

Give me a catalog or a web page and I'll browse and order 'til the end of time - just don't make me stand in the middle of the aisle of Wally World (in my neighborhood!!) and read the back of packages for hours!! I figure the research I did was enough.

There - I kinda solved the mystery. It's not a condom with vibration built-in per se. All my single friends - you just wait (SP, YP... ; ) Who am I kidding.... even the not-single ones! Watch out!! I'm not afraid to buy it!!!! (I'll just run in, grab whatever I see first and run out. No telling what you're going to get.... ; )

BTW - today is my BIRTHDAY!!! YEAH!!! I'm thirty -something....

Oops

Madhatter just brought to my attention that it has been WAY too long since my last entry. And to make matters worse, the new guy hasn't even started yet. Doesn't even start until Monday... I feel ashamed...

So Tuesday some of the girls came over to celebrate my bday early (cuz that's when we all could get together). Leave it to them to provide interesting entertainment.

No, no. not THAT kind of entertainment. Men did not leave my house with a paycheck, if that's what crossed your mind. (dirty blog readers....)

Gifts did range from appropriate: Lena, with the help of her boys, got me some new games!!!. Becca got me this cool waterproof roll-bag for my ipod and another "kerchief" to add to my collection. If you don't know about my bandanna-wearin' self read here.

(PLEASE - will one of my friends from the south PLEASE tell Lena to stop calling it a do-rag!!! She's from Jersey and keeps calling them do-rags. I keep telling her that a do-rag is something else COMPLETELY! She totally disagrees. Will somebody back me up on this!!!)

And then there were the gifts you wouldn't necessarily show your grandma (depending on what kind of grandma you have). Yana and her, um, pen holder. Not just any pen holder. An old man butt pen holder, where your pen is held, um, in his butt. And every time you stick your pen in said holder position the old man reacts with, um, reactions. And the playboy bunny mug that Yana also got me. That's another long story I don't have time for here. And Sara with her "early Valentine's Day" gift pack. To list a few things in said gift pack: furry handcuffs, matching "spanking thingy", "fun dice", chocolate coconut bubble bath, lotion... you get the picture.....

Just wait until David gets home from his business trip and sees all this on the dining room table...

And then there was the conversation about someone hearing about Wal-mart selling vibrating condoms. Do they really??? Can anyone else verify this??? Is it battery operated?? If so how does that work?? Considering those of us at the table constitute a pretty intelligent group (civil engineer, physicians assistant, jack of ALL trades, graphic designer-to be architect, MBA) a very involved discussed ensued. We still couldn't figure it out - although we came up with some good ideas.

They thought I should do a product review on it - like I did the Veet with squeegee... I know I tell you guys a lot but I'm not willing to cross the line into my sex life... sorry... go find some young, perky, single thing to that for ya.

slow goin'

just a heads up - the posts might get a bit slow going as work picks up a bit. and then again they may not - work might provide me with blogging fodder. We'll have to wait and see.

See, SB's "last day" was the 11th. I say "last day" but she's still working under contract for a few weeks until her student teaching gets under way at the end of the month. We just don't really let people go here. Her replacement, RR, starts the 28th, which also happens to be my birthday. Did I mention that RR is a "he", in an office of "she's"?? Ok, my boss is a "he" - but he keeps to himself and is the head honcho. And the rest of the "she's", oh and the new "he", reports to me.

Org chart: He-> me-> to the rest of the she's(2) and he.

For a grand total of 5 of us in the office. There's actually another "he" parallel to my boss but he's only in the office about 10-15 days a year so technically there's 6 of us in our office. The "she's" (me included) used to way outnumber the "he's" in the office.... but now it's getting closer....

This will be interesting to see if/ how the dyanamic changes....